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Your partner doesn't need to know your income until you start paying bills together or share bank accounts. Personal income shouldn't even be discussed on a date.
So, it seems like most women believe it is bad form to post your income range (despite that they will secretly be trying to piece together thousands of clues to figure it out, but I digress).
Seems like the case is close unless there is a woman out there who feels otherwise.
LOL! Ain't that the truth.
Some men I've met recently are prone to using their salary as a pick up line (we haven't even gotten to a date yet!) and it is quite unattractive. I feel sorry for them because they set themselves up for pain and frustration in the future. Especially if they are the type to inflate their earnings. How embarassing it will be when the house of cards falls down. I know women who demand the very best (or what they think is the best) and will want their boyfriend to spend, spend, spend to keep them happy. All the while he is sick to his stomach trying to afford these items.
If a guy lists his salary, it suggests that he thinks that's something a woman should take into account in evaluating him. By leaving it blank, you avoid the issue and force her to decide whether to make it one.
Sorry to dredge up a dead topic, but I had an update. I still haven't joined a dating site, but I do have a just browsing profile for match.com and I saw an incredible woman who seems to fit all of my criteria and I fit hers. She is gorgeous and obviously a very intelligent, driven person and has listed that she makes $100-150K and that is the amount also listed in the "about my date" section.
What do you think of this? Is it okay for her to post this information and her limiting requirements. Personally, I'm glad she did because ideally I would be with someone at my same level careerwise and ambition-wise so we would have that in common. I'm sure there are many men who will really dislike someone who does that. Obviously, a woman like this could be very materialistic which is a turn-off for me. But, the only way to find out is to talk to the person. What is the approach I should take in this situation, given that the women almost uniformly find it hideous to disclose income?
And also, to address what Denny wrote:
"If a guy lists his salary, it suggests that he thinks that's something a woman should take into account in evaluating him. By leaving it blank, you avoid the issue and force her to decide whether to make it one."
I WANT her to take it into account at lease on some level because it shows I'm driven and can achieve my goals and will be able to provide for a family. It isn't some conflict that I want to set up down the road.
Besides, men who feel the need to put their salary right out can come off as desperate. First, it's a hedge for something you lack. You are either boorish and fat, or you are bald and old
The best\classiest way is to use code words like "successful".
I think if you describe yourself as a successful consultant it makes the point without being overbearing.
The types of gals you are looking for are smart enough to figure this out.
Personally I don't like it when people call themselves successful. That's something I'd rather decide for myself. And pretty much everyone describes themselves as such, so it is not a differentiating point. A hard number or maybe a description of their job would be more informative.
I want to clarify though. I think it would be foolish to say something like, "My name is Miyu and I make 100k/year" in a profile. The place for the monetary earnings is probably as a side note at the bottom of your profile, if there is a field that allows this information. If there is not a specific field for it I probably would not put it down. Or using a range in a pull-down field would be okay.
Sorry to dredge up a dead topic, but I had an update. I still haven't joined a dating site, but I do have a just browsing profile for match.com and I saw an incredible woman who seems to fit all of my criteria and I fit hers. She is gorgeous and obviously a very intelligent, driven person and has listed that she makes $100-150K and that is the amount also listed in the "about my date" section.
What do you think of this? Is it okay for her to post this information and her limiting requirements. Personally, I'm glad she did because ideally I would be with someone at my same level careerwise and ambition-wise so we would have that in common. I'm sure there are many men who will really dislike someone who does that. Obviously, a woman like this could be very materialistic which is a turn-off for me. But, the only way to find out is to talk to the person. What is the approach I should take in this situation, given that the women almost uniformly find it hideous to disclose income?
And also, to address what Denny wrote:
"If a guy lists his salary, it suggests that he thinks that's something a woman should take into account in evaluating him. By leaving it blank, you avoid the issue and force her to decide whether to make it one."
I WANT her to take it into account at lease on some level because it shows I'm driven and can achieve my goals and will be able to provide for a family. It isn't some conflict that I want to set up down the road.
She wants a man who is equally successful. Many men are intimated and create a lot of problems in relationships when they are not earning as much as the woman. She's probably learned the hard way that she needs a man as successful as she is.
If I were you, I'd list my career not as "self employed," but in whatever you field you work in (i.e. Business, Medicine, Sales, Marketing, etc), and then not list your income to deter potential gold-diggers.
I would then note briefly in your profile (there's usually an "about me" section somewhere you can add details) that you own a successful business and lead a "comfortable and stable" life or something to that end.
What about a woman posting her income, especially if she is a high income producer? My inclination is not to post but others have said to post so those men who are threatened can be weeded out in the beginning.
Any thoughts??
The people on this board are largely speculating about a life which they do not enjoy. Why would you ask someone who makes 45k a year if it's ok if you post your six figure income.
Facts are facts: if you post an income over 200k your response rates goes up by like 98%...or something like that. there was a chart posted a while back that attests to this.
Listing your income is tacky though...you show it in your profile and pictures. A picture is worth a thousand words.
also, it's honest. lets say you make 250k per year but live like a pauper. if a potential mate expects you to live a lifestyle commensurate with your income problems may occur if you dont.
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