How can I ask my girlfriend if she actually likes me? (how to, women)

[isaackko]

I get the feeling every so often that she doesn't really like me that much anymore. She still calls me on her breaks at work and comes to visit me, but I just get don't get the same vibe from her that I did a couple months ago.

Now; she's a people pleaser... had no idea that's not a word... and because of that stayed with her ex whom she did not like at all for quite a while. I would feel absolutely horrible if she was just staying with me to make me happy (and also not make my sister unhappy, as they are coworkers and my sister set us up).

In light of all of this, I want to ask her where "we" stand and get into how she really feels about me. I don't know how to ask though. My ex used to ask me all the time and it was very annoying and off-putting. I want to do it casually but maintain a serious tone so she knows that I'm not just joking around. (I'm prone to joking around a lot)

[Thursday007]

"Seriously, do you really like me?"

[jbub22]

You do need to ask her. For several reasons, where U stand and to determine her mental state or maybe its depression. Either way, ask because your gut instinct is telling U something which probably means there is something to be said.

[STT Resident]

Your ex may have annoyed you by asking you all the time but you haven't even brought it up once with your girlfriend so just sit her down, tell her you're feeling uncomfortable and find out what (if anything) is going on. That easy.

[isaackko]

Originally Posted by STT Resident

Your ex may have annoyed you by asking you all the time but you haven't even brought it up once with your girlfriend so just sit her down, tell her you're feeling uncomfortable and find out what (if anything) is going on. That easy.

It sounds easy, but I would think that after it was said that she would have more doubt in her mind than she did previously, thinking that I am not happy with things.

[STT Resident]

Originally Posted by isaackko

It sounds easy, but I would think that after it was said that she would have more doubt in her mind than she did previously, thinking that I am not happy with things.

That's what communication is all about. As long as you don't communicate and keep second-guessing and making assumptions the relationship will go nowhere fast. Good luck!

[lilamx]

Pose the question but in a soft, non-demanding manner. Sit her down and ask her something like, "You know...for a while I've been feeling that you're not as into me as in the beginning and I just want to clear that itch I have. I just want us to be on the same page and want you to be happy...if you're not happy, you can always tell me. I prefer sincerity above everything else..."
I'm not good at wording things but something like that. Don't make her feel attacked, but still be direct and straight-forward with your question so you don't get a wishy-washy answer.

[isaackko]

Originally Posted by STT Resident

Your ex may have annoyed you by asking you all the time but you haven't even brought it up once with your girlfriend so just sit her down, tell her you're feeling uncomfortable and find out what (if anything) is going on. That easy.

I have brought it up, but this was way in the beginning around September or so.

She was much more verbally affectionate and direct about how she felt about me at first (which is to be expected, especially since I kind of swept her off her feet initially). But it's waned since then.

[bouncethelight]

Originally Posted by isaackko

She was much more verbally affectionate and direct about how she felt about me at first (which is to be expected, especially since I kind of swept her off her feet initially). But it's waned since then.

You say you swept her off her feet *at first* which implies that you've stopped doing whatever you were doing before. So maybe it's not surprising that she's stopped expressing as much verbal affection?

Doesn't mean she doesn't still like you, but it's probably to be expected that if you change, she will also change.

[isaackko]

Originally Posted by bouncethelight

You say you swept her off her feet *at first* which implies that you've stopped doing whatever you were doing before. So maybe it's not surprising that she's stopped expressing as much verbal affection?

Doesn't mean she doesn't still like you, but it's probably to be expected that if you change, she will also change.

I meant that I took her off guard at first. I treat women nicely and affectionately. She was not used to that given her collective life experience up to this point.