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Old 12-27-2010, 12:20 PM
279 posts, read 273,204 times
Reputation: 396


I had been thinking for some time that it could be reasonable for people who are not marriage-oriented to live in all-male or all-female households, kind of like fraternities and sororities. You could still have relationships with the opposite sex, even long-term relationships. There's no law of nature saying a couple has to live under the same roof. I'm not saying everyone should do this, just that some people might feel more comfortable this way. I think it would be particularly good for people who don't want kids.

It might also work for people who want kids. For example, one or more male households could form a cooperative with one or more female households, sharing responsibilities. Of course, this idea would be hard to implement in today's world because society in general, and family law in particular, would have a hard time adapting to this model. But I think it could work (i.e., as well or maybe sometimes better than the marriage model, which is somewhat broken if you take a look).

Perhaps some people will say this idea is weird. But if marriage had not yet been invented and I suggested it, then people would also say that's weird.

Also, I'm not suggesting that people should never grow up. Frats aren't just about beer parties, they also do community service and such. I'm just saying that it's another kind of social unit, with its own advantages and disadvantages, and could be preferable for some, especially those who find value in same-sex friendships and have some interest in "intentional communities" or communal/cooperative living other than the traditional family unit.

Could this be something that takes hold in our future (not for everyone, but some)? Or am I the only person who thinks this is viable or desirable?

(A version of this appeared in the "Boston Marriages" thread, but I got no response there.)
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Old 12-27-2010, 01:00 PM
28,906 posts, read 43,538,294 times
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God, considering the frat houses I've seen, I hope not.
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Old 12-27-2010, 01:38 PM
Location: Cardboard box
1,909 posts, read 3,104,403 times
Reputation: 1309
Yes, modeling your adult life around people who never got over high school seems like a great idea.
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Old 12-27-2010, 01:57 PM
Location: Emerald Coast, FL
5,109 posts, read 7,491,645 times
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Having lived in a frat (albeit a very classy frat where coat and tie were required for dinner), I don't think it would be a good model as is. However, there ARE cooperative living situations especially for older people where they can share expenses and sometimes some chores, such as meals (also as a way to socialize). There is also the commune model, which didn't work very well. A cooperative of some type can often work better as people have more independence and autonomy, and it's easier to join OR to leave.
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Old 12-27-2010, 02:06 PM
4,837 posts, read 7,360,453 times
Reputation: 2979
Default I've Always Thought That....

....having a full beer fridge was a prerequisite for happiness.
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Old 12-28-2010, 12:04 AM
1,206 posts, read 2,350,205 times
Reputation: 1148
Just go into one of those cooperatives if your looking for community living. There are alot of people who just live with housemates, but i dont think its any kind of replacement for marriage...
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Old 12-28-2010, 02:24 AM
Location: Wu Dang Mountain
12,943 posts, read 18,322,648 times
Reputation: 8647
Originally Posted by TaoistDude View Post
...There is also the commune model, which didn't work very well...
You beat me to it.

I encountered a few communes at the tail-end of their popularity and although a "few" isn't statistically significant I wasn't terribly impressed by the arrangement. It was as if a bunch of male 1% bikers and female Earth-Mothers had gotten together and decided not to bathe.
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