The "Perfect" Girl (dating, marriage, women, love)
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So with all of these threads about the pressures to get married and have kids (not wanting to date women with children)...what do men think about women who are forthright (like announce it loud and clear on the first date) about not wanting to get married or have kids?
So with all of these threads about the pressures to get married and have kids (not wanting to date women with children)...what do men think about women who are forthright (like announce it loud and clear on the first date) about not wanting to get married or have kids?
What exactly is the happy "medium"?
I don't think you don't need to announce it loudly. The happy medium is around 70db.
See this is where online dating kind of takes the guesswork out of it. If you're putting yourself out there via an online dating site. You can make your profile completely custom to what you want. If you are looking for a serious relationship, want to be married and have kids in 3 years, then yes, I think it's fair that you let people know this up front so that they can move forward accordingly.
But, I'm with Chowhound you don't want to announce it on a first date - that could be a major turn off for someone... it should come up though in casual conversation if you didn't meet online.
So do you suggest that a women who doesn't want to have kids or get married keep it to themselves until the time is right? Even though that could also come off as deceptive to a man who wants to have kids and get married.
So do you suggest that a women who doesn't want to have kids or get married keep it to themselves until the time is right? Even though that could also come off as deceptive to a man who wants to have kids and get married.
No, not at all. I'm a big fan of honesty and when it comes to love and dating, I'd rather know up front then invest time and find out later that my "mate" had other ideas.
I'm just saying not to announce it on the first meeting LOL - if you meet someone and the conversation is rolling along, you can find the perfect opportunity to slip it into the conversation. You don't want somoene investing their time into, allowing feelings to develop and then you surprise them three months down the road with the "I don't want to be married or have kids" because a lot of men, especially younger who are looking into having serious relationships, are thinking about marriage and kids.
The idea is to meet many people, find ones who have similar life goals, interests etc... and early on, yes be honest and up front about it. A guy is going to appreciate the candor and honesty.
I find it fool hardy to announce it initially. Like if I were to walk up when I first met my fiance and said something like, "Yes, your dress looks nice, by the way, I don't want kids." The creep factor comes in immediately sends out a red flag and I probably wouldn't have seen her again. There is a time and place for everything.
It's not so much that she has to put it out there immediately, although that would certainly save a lot of time. It's that she should be clear about she wants and doesn't want. This applies to men as well. Too many people go out there with only a vague idea of what they want.
Alright, well since some of you are taking this a little too literally...lets say a girl in casual conversation (who knows what she wants and doesn't want) seamlessly integrates that she doesn't want to get married or have kids.
Ex: Guy brings up conversation about sister/brother getting married or having kids. Girl makes it clear she doesn't want either.
The question was more about whether or not a guy would be more inclined to be drawn to or write off A.) A girl who is marriage/kid crazy (feeling the pressure) B.) Already has a child or has been divorced or C.) Doesn't ever want kids or a husband and is clear about it.
The question was more about whether or not a guy would be more inclined to be drawn to or write off A.) A girl who is marriage/kid crazy (feeling the pressure) B.) Already has a child or has been divorced or C.) Doesn't ever want kids or a husband and is clear about it.
The first one would be a red flag. I don't want someone who's in a hurry to get married and have kids. The other two options aren't dealbreakers for me.
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