Why are a lot of women so manipulative? (girlfriend, lover, family)
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The caliber of women you attract is based on your own caliber. You'll find a different kind of woman when you become a different kind of man. Birds of feather, etc...
Last edited by JustJulia; 03-03-2011 at 03:42 PM..
Im not the type of person who feeds into manipulative peoples needs but I have come to realize how a lot of women who are interested in you become manipulative.
A girl I used to go out with I had to stop seing her because she became too clingy and manipulative. She would want me to call her 24/7 and try to say shes mad at me or something stupid to try and force me to call her or take her somewhere. I got tired of those constant annoyances and I told her that so eventually I ended things. Afterwards she would lie about me getting her pregnant or something weird to try and get me to stay with her.
Now im on the same boat again. Some chick wants me to go to her place every day call her 24/7 etc.
It gets to the point where they start to remind me of one of those spoiled kids who throws a tantrum when they dont get what they want and the parent falls for it and gives the kid what they want. The difference though is that I dont give them what they want, am I just unlucky to find girls like that or are a lot of them like this?
If this has happened to you more than once, then it's your pattern, and not just a coincidence or soemthing that someone else is doing to you.
I suspect the type of woman you are most strongly attracted to is one who isn't good for you. So maybe it's time to take your attraction meter down a notch or two. (ie. Instead of going for your version of a "10", go for someone who's a "6" or "7").
You might also try looking for womein in different venues and not going to bed with them too quickly (and use those condoms religiously!)
Because other people come to CD and ask a question and expect opinions. If you do not have much information, you have to assume what you dont know - and we all have different life experiences to draw our assumptions from.
Anyway, to the OP:
We are all like a transmitter - you send out this message and the people who hear your message come running. The people who do not 'resonate' with your message do not bother to react. If you change your message, then you will attract different kinds of people.
Bottom line: Examine your thinking, get to know what you want in a partner, and get to know yourself a bit better and the message you transmit will be clearer and the people you attract will gradually become more like those you wish to attract.
So, since you dated two girls that were manipulative, you've concluded that "A lot" of girls are manipulative. So effing Genius!!!
Good point. OP...the thing I didn't learn until much later in life is that you hvae to know what you're looking for and you have to move on quickly. This is what's best for you and the other person.
If you're only thinking about who's physically attractive to you, you're going to have problems.
Any way, to the OP, the caliber of women you attract is based on your own caliber. You'll find a different kind of woman when you become a different kind of man. Birds of feather, etc...
I used to believe that somewhat but real world experience has shown that, unfortunately, good behavior or qualities are not always valued or respected in return. Expecting that because you are a certain "caliber" that you'll have all these flocks of equal or higher status women clamoring for you might not be the case and in addition you might be setting yourself up to be taken advantage of.
When it comes down to it with relationships, I think people are just out to get what they can, weighing up negatives they have to deal with compared to what they can get out of it. I've seen plenty of women "change" when other things like money come into play and they'll date a lesser man in personal morals or ethics that might be "rich" just to gain status financially or in other areas.
The world is a lot harsher and mercenary and cutthroat then it should be, but that's the way it is.
However it's not all negative, but I think you need to have the approach of "trust but verify". And when it comes to manipulation, it's out there, so you need to have eyes wide open and a plan in how you are going to deal with it. Letting yourself be a doormat just opens yourself up to being overrun by yappy demanding women playing the emotional manipulation card 24/7.
Try it with young kids sometime. If you need help with something like groceries brought in, say "I need some big strong handsome men to help bring in groceries" and even the 2 year old will flex his biceps and run to help bring them in. Not the daughters though - you can't say "big strong women" or "pretty girls to help bring them in". They'll sit there and give you that look.
So maybe it's that women manipulate men because it's so easy for them to do?
If so the men make it easy for them to do, the women just fill the void or push open that door. Certainly when I was a younger lad I fell pray to it. I thought if I was Mr. Polite and Romantic and basically did whatever they wanted or whatever I thought they wanted, I would be in like Flint, but far from it. I was relegated to the "friend zone" or used as a manipulative toy for their own purposes to keep their alpha males in line.
In addition, society today in general displays men as being dolts that without the benevolent, intelligent guidance from their women, they are helpless idiots. Watch any selection of tv commercials or tv shows today and tell me I am wrong. Kitty whipped men are all the rage, but you know, I firmly believe that though women say one thing, in reality they hate men like that. Deep down they really want men that are strong and tough and in command.
So I think part of ones growth as a man is learning how NOT to the play the game and fall prey to all this pouting and manipulation of emotions. I'm not afraid to admit I had to learn the hard way through hard knocks to finally find some success and happiness.
I used to believe that somewhat but real world experience has shown that, unfortunately, good behavior or qualities are not always valued or respected in return. Expecting that because you are a certain "caliber" that you'll have all these flocks of equal or higher status women clamoring for you might not be the case and in addition you might be setting yourself up to be taken advantage of.
To be clear, that advice is meant for women as well. What also comes to mind is that it has been continually pointed out in this forum that some, perhaps a lot, of men assess themselves with rose colored glasses. You might think you're all that, but that doesn't mean it's the case. The issue here is that there's probably no way for such a person to ever really know any better until something changes. So, it's a bit of catch-22. Further, there really is little arguing that likes attract likes. It speaks to my experience at least.
Quote:
When it comes down to it with relationships, I think people are just out to get what they can, weighing up negatives they have to deal with compared to what they can get out of it. I've seen plenty of women "change" when other things like money come into play and they'll date a lesser man in personal morals or ethics that might be "rich" just to gain status financially or in other areas.
For this to be the case generally, a requirement would be an overall significant diversity of people (SES, education, etc) mingling with each other, and that's not what I typically see. For example, I had a get together last night. All of us are from the same cultural cohort (education, SES, music, style, travel, experience, etc). It was certainly no social rainbow. It rarely is ime. So, I don't understand where the exposure comes in for what you suggest to manifest.
Quote:
The world is a lot harsher and mercenary and cutthroat then it should be, but that's the way it is.
However it's not all negative, but I think you need to have the approach of "trust but verify". And when it comes to manipulation, it's out there, so you need to have eyes wide open and a plan in how you are going to deal with it. Letting yourself be a doormat just opens yourself up to being overrun by yappy demanding women playing the emotional manipulation card 24/7.
I don't doubt this is the case for a segment of people. What I think, is that's prominent on the other side of the proverbial, cultural pond, which shows that it's not inherent. And further it highlights that it has, again, everything to do with who you (general you) are and what you're about. Also, ime, personalities that tend to stereotype are of a specific cultural type. They don't seem to have access to peoples that do not fit their worldview.
Im 22 for those wondering and idk what it is they start of very cool then they gradually become more and more annoying. There are girls I could date that seem too materialistic for me and then the ones that seem normal are always becoming manipulative. I have close friends who gave up on being on relationships because too many girls seem to be manipulative, play too many games or become clingy. I dont like to stereotype but are there any specific type of girls that are more likely to not have these traits
Can you be a little more specific about the types of girls/women you are dating? Age range? Educational level? Are you picking them up in a bar or a more tranquil setting?
If so the men make it easy for them to do, the women just fill the void or push open that door. Certainly when I was a younger lad I fell pray to it. I thought if I was Mr. Polite and Romantic and basically did whatever they wanted or whatever I thought they wanted, I would be in like Flint, but far from it. I was relegated to the "friend zone" or used as a manipulative toy for their own purposes to keep their alpha males in line.
In addition, society today in general displays men as being dolts that without the benevolent, intelligent guidance from their women, they are helpless idiots. Watch any selection of tv commercials or tv shows today and tell me I am wrong. Kitty whipped men are all the rage, but you know, I firmly believe that though women say one thing, in reality they hate men like that. Deep down they really want men that are strong and tough and in command.
So I think part of ones growth as a man is learning how NOT to the play the game and fall prey to all this pouting and manipulation of emotions. I'm not afraid to admit I had to learn the hard way through hard knocks to finally find some success and happiness.
keep their Alpha males in line, LOL... somehow that struck me as funny.
Do you realize you are contradicting yourself? First you say women want the tough guy in command (alpha male I presume) then you say kitty whipped is all the rage. So which is it?
What is a true alpha male anyway?
To me a truly strong male takes excellent care of his partner. It takes strength, confidence and ability to give freely. See back when you were "Mr. Polite and Romantic and basically did whatever they wanted" you weren't freely giving of yourself because you wanted to, YOU were actually manipulating so you would be -- YOUR WORDS "in like Flint"....
I think the problem is not one sex vs the other, I think it's just hard to find quality people, period.
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