Women and Successful Men (dating, love, attractive, partner)

[Malkiel]

I always fear that my date will dump me for someone more successful. It's very disgusting but logical. If I were a women then I would go for the more successful person.

Are my fears reasonable?

[MIKEETC]

Originally Posted by Malkiel

I always fear that my date will dump me for someone more successful. It's very disgusting but logical. If I were a women then I would go for the more successful person.

Are my fears reasonable?

If you have low self-esteem, then I'd say, "Yes." After all, who wants to be with someone who has no confidence in themselves?

[miyu]

It's reasonable. But there isn't a point to "fearing" rather than trying to be a successful person yourself.

[Small_Feather]

Don't date

Tis dating that leads to such anxieties

[DennyCrane]

Originally Posted by Malkiel

I always fear that my date will dump me for someone more successful. It's very disgusting but logical. If I were a women then I would go for the more successful person.

Are my fears reasonable?

It shows insecurity on your part. There will always be a more successful man out there just as there will always be a more attractive woman. If your date were constantly worried that you'd dump her for someone better looking, would you find that an attractive quality? I doubt it. Confidence is what people find attractive. If someone likes who they are despite knowing they're not the best looking or most successful person around, that makes them more likable, provided they have a good share of humility to go with it.

[BramH]

It's possible, but it's not all about succes if you show you're a better partner for her.

[cpg35223]

Let's analyze this.

Women aren't any more shallow and materialistic than men. But they sure as heck want to know that a potential partner has his act together in life. That doesn't mean that you have to be a lawyer, a doctor, or some uber-successful professional making well into the six figures.

At the same time, you should have a purpose, a reason for getting up in the morning. If all you do is scuttle back to a soul-destroying job that you hate every day, it shows in your demeanor and your attitudes towards everything else.

The reason for this? While there are multiple ways for women to define themselves, a large part of how men define themselves and are defined can be found in what they do. Yeah, get up on the chairs and yell at me all you want, but it is still the case in the 21st Century and for the rest of our lives.

If you want to be a carpenter, then be a carpenter. If you want to be a wilderness guide or run a kayak shop, then do it. But be a damned good carpenter, wilderness guide, or kayak shop manager. Because it isn't specifically what you do for a living, or at least it's not for any woman with a brain. Instead women love men who love their own lives, men who go about their daily routines in life with passion, energy, and purpose. For a man like that, most women will walk through fire and not worry about the size of the paycheck, as long as it's enough to keep the wolf from the door. In that sense, most women will take a happy carpenter over a sad, dispirited lawyer any day of the week.

So stop with the freaking self pity. Stop nurturing fear. For women can smell the reek of those qualities from a mile away. Take charge of your freaking life and give yourself a direction, whatever it may be.

[malamute]

Originally Posted by Malkiel

I always fear that my date will dump me for someone more successful. It's very disgusting but logical. If I were a women then I would go for the more successful person.

Are my fears reasonable?

They might be reasonable. It all depends on who you're dating. If she's dating you for your money, then it's kind of obvious she might ditch you if someone with more money comes along. Trophy women are often like this.

But there are also women who go for the bad boys who would ditch a nice man for a loser. But she might want you in the picture to come to her rescue at a later time.

[Georgianbelle]

No, your fears are not reasonable unless you choose shallow women to date. Most women would not want a serious relationship with a man without a job at all, but most would respect a man who is hard working and doing his best. I really think men put more pressure on themselves than is necessary. Also, SOME men tend to believe the stereotypes about women only wanting material things. A woman that you would want to be with will be deeper than that.

[AK-Cathy]

For a man like that, most women will walk through fire and not worry about the size of the paycheck, as long as it's enough to keep the wolf from the door. In that sense, most women will take a happy carpenter over a sad, dispirited lawyer any day of the week.

cpg35223, well said. Unless one is trying to "date up" hooking up with superficial social/mating climbers, this is the truth for most of the women I know.