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Old 01-22-2011, 11:18 AM
 
1,351 posts, read 2,896,067 times
Reputation: 1835

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you're in college, which is the best time and place to make friends, in terms of how easy it is. make the most of it. force yourself to get out there, and talk to strangers. go to some of the college bars (don't listen to those who say everyone is drunk blah blah), that's where the hottest girls will be anyway and trust me when i say, never again in life will you have the kinds of opportunities you do now, to meet young, beautiful women. sure most will be immature and stupid, but then don't go lookin for a relationship - just have fun (as in - get laid ;-)), because now is the time. oh - and even if you ARE looking for a relationship, you CAN meet a good girl at a bar. it's happened to me and it's happened to my friends. so forget the naysayers.

godspeed.
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Old 01-22-2011, 11:28 AM
 
1,351 posts, read 2,896,067 times
Reputation: 1835
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bondurant View Post
Meeting people is tough. I went out after work twice in the past week. Headed to bars for dinner and a few drinks with hopes of meeting some people. Didn't happen. But I must admit my local bar scene isn't for me. It's a college crowd and I'm like an old man. Running out of ideas fast.

Hang in there Hurricane and hope for the best. I'm down and out a lot but still hold hope that the law averages works out and the ball will bounce in my court one day.
how old are you, and what have you been doing overall to try and meet women? just curious
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Old 01-22-2011, 12:01 PM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
6,402 posts, read 8,953,766 times
Reputation: 8491
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElysianEagle View Post
how old are you, and what have you been doing overall to try and meet women? just curious
I am 29. Honestly, I don't do a whole lot. From time to time I'll scan Craigs List but nothing has come of that. My work schedule isn't friendly to a social life and I'm not a social butterfly. The meeting girls/women thing has always been hard for me going back to when I was young.

Living in an area where I am not appealing to most of the women or they are not appealing to me doesn't help me either. They're all young and in college while I'm approaching 30 and work fulltime. Not a good mix.

I did make an attempt with a woman that works in the same building as me but that didn't go over to well. I do put in some effort.
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Old 01-22-2011, 12:24 PM
 
1,351 posts, read 2,896,067 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bondurant View Post
I am 29. Honestly, I don't do a whole lot. From time to time I'll scan Craigs List but nothing has come of that. My work schedule isn't friendly to a social life and I'm not a social butterfly. The meeting girls/women thing has always been hard for me going back to when I was young.

Living in an area where I am not appealing to most of the women or they are not appealing to me doesn't help me either. They're all young and in college while I'm approaching 30 and work fulltime. Not a good mix.

I did make an attempt with a woman that works in the same building as me but that didn't go over to well. I do put in some effort.
in this case i guess you'll have to assess how important meeting someone is to you. 29 is still young, i have friends who are 31-32 who still routinely bag college aged women. besides, you don't have to go for girls that young, i personally like girls in their mid 20s the most.

i moved cities to improve my social situation and it worked out well. seriously, give it some thought. life's too short to waste being miserable.
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Old 01-22-2011, 12:46 PM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
6,402 posts, read 8,953,766 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ElysianEagle View Post
in this case i guess you'll have to assess how important meeting someone is to you. 29 is still young, i have friends who are 31-32 who still routinely bag college aged women. besides, you don't have to go for girls that young, i personally like girls in their mid 20s the most.

i moved cities to improve my social situation and it worked out well. seriously, give it some thought. life's too short to waste being miserable.
Bagging college aged girls isn't my intent. I prefer quality over quantity. I don't need to amass a black book of conquests. All I need to find the right woman, the one woman I need.

I have no plans on moving again. I've been a nomad the past few years. Lived in 4 states but I have no plans of leaving AZ unless it's a golden opportunity.

I'm kind of a sad sack by nature and I'm trying to change that. Hopefully I find what I'm looking for.
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Old 01-23-2011, 08:17 AM
 
Location: Inception
968 posts, read 2,615,030 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by undertheironsea View Post
Loners are lonely. I don't consider myself lonely at all. I have friends, single now but have had quite a few girlfriends, etc. I just like doing my own thing, and could give a crap less what other people are doing. Going out and getting drunk with idiots holds no appeal to me, so I just read a good book and watch television on a Saturday night. Being 25, meeting like-minded people that enjoy that same type of thing is hard, so I go my own way.
+1

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bondurant View Post
Bagging college aged girls isn't my intent. I prefer quality over quantity. I don't need to amass a black book of conquests. All I need to find the right woman, the one woman I need.

I have no plans on moving again. I've been a nomad the past few years. Lived in 4 states but I have no plans of leaving AZ unless it's a golden opportunity.

I'm kind of a sad sack by nature and I'm trying to change that. Hopefully I find what I'm looking for.
+1

And to the other poster that stated there is a different between a loner and being lonely...I completely agree. There are some fundamental differences in being a loner and feeling lonely. One may be a loner by nature but you lonely when there is a lacking of a desire or craving in your life.

Being socially involved in my career, if you will, has allowed me to deal with some of the lonely issues and curbed my intermittent cravings for interaction. I probably have been less successful on a personal level of dealing with that; work in progress.

If you are a true loner you have to work to integrate things in your life (hobbies, crafts, travel, etc...) to ensure you are happy. A loner is not a life sentence to unhappiness. Allow whatever that gateway to happiness is be a segue to developing interactions with others to fulfill those intermittent cravings.

Words from the wisest, youngest loner with an old soul
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Old 01-23-2011, 09:16 AM
 
2,590 posts, read 4,522,538 times
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OP, I agree with a few other people in that you aren't really a loner. Loners don't really care if they have much social interaction beyond the minimum. You definitely seem to be craving a more full social life and that's normal for most people at certain times in their lives. Not everyone else is living an exciting life full of friends and fun as it may feel at times.

Some folks get stuck in a rut or neglect their social connections to the point where they seem to wither away. I have experienced both. That can happen through focusing so much on studies, work, or by just a lack of motivation to put forth the effort to maintain and form new relationships. You have one major plus going for you since you are in college. Join a student organization or look for volunteer opportunities. Don't fall back on the excuse that you are a commuter. You can still make friends.

Another plus is you live in the DC area. You have access to all sorts of interesting places to meet folks. You aren't relegated to the bars, clubs, and churches many inhabitants of other cities are. You have the cultural venues like museums, well-used parks, and a lively urban environment. It can suck to be alone anywhere but some places make it more bearable. DC may be one of them. I know I enjoyed NYC as a mostly solitary guy since there was so much going on and I never felt out of place or awkward just hanging out or wandering the city alone. I can't say the same for Atlanta. It has a completely different feel.

Anyway, just understand that what you are feeling happens to a lot of people. It's a part of modern life where we can live amongst millions of people yet seem to not have any meaningful attachment to any of them. You can change things to make it better. It just takes a little work like anything else worthwhile.

Last edited by DTL3000; 01-23-2011 at 09:27 AM..
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