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I have no problem with a person's not wanting kids. Your desire to never have sex drastically reduces your pool of potential mates, however, and it does not jive at all with your desire to be a "ladies' man." I know you insist that people can have sexless relationships at your age, but those have the possibility of eventual sex. A person who never wants to have sex will have a very difficult time maintaining a relationship with most people. You could search for an asexual mate, but I don't believe you are asexual. You simply don't want children, which is different.
Perhaps you could have sex with a woman who has had a hysterectomy.
I don't think I'm completely asexual either. I have no doubt that sex is enjoyable. But I also think other posters place more importance on sex than I do. Just the fact that I'm willing to go without sex should tell you something.
What's a hysterectomy? Is that when she gets her tubes tied? Because I know someone that got her tubes tied after 2 kids. She has 3 kids now.
What's a hysterectomy? Is that when she gets her tubes tied?
Wow. Sex Ed and Biology must be terrible in schools these days. A hysterectomy is when a woman has her uterus removed, so there's zero chance she'd get pregnant.
At my age, virgins are becoming rarer and rarer. This will only continue as I get older. But that might explain my preference for younger girls...I'd date down to 16 if I had the opportunity. A 16 year old virgin is much more common than a 19 year old virgin.
This is also why I think my bad dating life as a teen impacted me so much. My teen years (which I'm nearing the end of) are the years when my peers are more likely to be virgins. But I had a bad dating life during this time period. Do you see the predicament? Even if I have a good dating life eventually, that will be during a time period when very few of my peers are virgins.
And I don't want to be with someone forever. I can't imagine being with the same person until death do us part. So even if they get involved with me, they can have sex eventually with someone else.
I let high school pass me by. That was the perfect time to have a girlfriend. And I was hoping to. I honestly thought I might get a girlfriend senior year. But that never happened. Then I told myself college will be better. But so far, it's not (my dating life at least). I love college. It's better than high school in a lot of ways. But my dating life is no better now.
so basically you want a virgin? Good luck with that one..
my love life was non-existent in high school and I liked it that way. All my friends who were dating had useless drama that I found hilarious (only time it was sad was when a friends ex committed suicide, but that's a different story). I had peace of mind and was able to focus on things I enjoyed which kept me extremely busy. These days, nobody (only rarely though) marries their high school sweetheart and I knew that back then so I didn't care. I mean ya, occasionally some guy would tell me he thought I was attractive back then, but nothing came of it and that was fine.
I see how you think high school was the best time for you to date, but its also the worst time. You both are stuck with mommy and daddy (and under their rule), have hardly any money to do anything, and may or may not be driving.
Anyways, what I was trying to get at, is that even though I didn't date in high school (except for like 2 double dates my senior year, hah!), I somehow managed to date consistently as soon as I graduated. I never thought about losing my virginity either (how was I supposed to want something I never had?)...I met my first love and then it happened.
Also, I remember coming across guys like you when I was 19 and I thought you guys were strange. You have a bizarre outlook on adulthood and you seem awfully negative. Go live a little, when you're happy, everything seems good and the ladies will be drawn to that, trust me. I speak as a woman only a few years older than you.
the predicament you say you're in is you're outlook. You need to accept that the type of girl you're looking for is not going to be a virgin.
hmm..I've been having sex for 5 years now, safely too and no pregnancies so far..
sex isn't that scary city_data
So far. Just wait and see. I'm guessing you're not overly old. You might go the rest of your life without getting pregnant. But you also might get pregnant at some point. I don't know what your views on abortion are, but since you're a female (I think), you always have that option.
If I started having sex, it would be scary. I would be living in fear. I would constantly be afraid that I got her pregnant. That's no way to live.
At my age, virgins are becoming rarer and rarer. This will only continue as I get older. But that might explain my preference for younger girls...I'd date down to 16 if I had the opportunity. A 16 year old virgin is much more common than a 19 year old virgin.
This is also why I think my bad dating life as a teen impacted me so much. My teen years (which I'm nearing the end of) are the years when my peers are more likely to be virgins. But I had a bad dating life during this time period. Do you see the predicament? Even if I have a good dating life eventually, that will be during a time period when very few of my peers are virgins.
And I don't want to be with someone forever. I can't imagine being with the same person until death do us part. So even if they get involved with me, they can have sex eventually with someone else.
I let high school pass me by. That was the perfect time to have a girlfriend. And I was hoping to. I honestly thought I might get a girlfriend senior year. But that never happened. Then I told myself college will be better. But so far, it's not (my dating life at least). I love college. It's better than high school in a lot of ways. But my dating life is no better now.
Where to start...
1.) Teenage virgins will only remain virgins for a short while (once they realize your celibate most of them will leave shortly after)
2.) College girls (who don't want forever) are then more often looking for a sexually driven relationship (if they know going into it that the guy is not interested in something long term).
3.) The older you get the more difficult it will be to convince a girl that you want to remain celibate in order to avoid pregnancy. (Find a women who has taken maybe a more extreme approach to avoiding pregnancy, that way you know she is serious and will take every step necessary to not have a child)
4.) You've go to let you high school relationships go (no matter how bad they were). They're a drop in the bucket in the grand scheme of things.
There are women out there who are realistic about preventing pregnancy but your going to have to date older. A teenage pop tart trying to remember to take the pill everyday is not going to work for you. You need a women who has decided not to have kids or to wait and has either gotten her tubes tied, or is using an IUD. Also you need to make sure shes pro choice.
But that might explain my preference for younger girls...I'd date down to 16 if I had the opportunity. A 16 year old virgin is much more common than a 19 year old virgin.
This is also why I think my bad dating life as a teen impacted me so much.
I understand, you just want someone on the same level...
The older you get and the further you put off experiencing life, or love, or sex, whatever, the harder it will be and the more insecure or nervous you will be about it.
I lost my virginity at 17 (which was laaate in my circle) and had many very short, awkward relationships during my teen years because I was inexperienced, shy, and did not understand how to communicate with a guy in order to make a relationship work. Eventually met someone (my first real bf) after numerous relationship FAILS and it gave me the chance to really come into myself and experience what a relationship is like. Of course that didn't last forever, but it gave me the confidence to get back out there.
Sometimes you just gotta throw caution to the wind and learn to live a little.
Your thoughts do have they power to dictate what happens (or does not happen) in your life...
Wow. Sex Ed and Biology must be terrible in schools these days. A hysterectomy is when a woman has her uterus removed, so there's zero chance she'd get pregnant.
Sex ed is good these days (or at least it was good in 2006). My 9th grade sex ed class is what made me decide to stay a virgin forever. My sex ed teacher told me that abstinence is the only 100% effective method. Before that, I never gave much thought to percentages...I just thought I wanted to have sex someday. But that class changed my life.
A hysterectomy sounds good. But she could be lying about getting a hysterectomy just so I have sex with her.
so basically you want a virgin? Good luck with that one..
my love life was non-existent in high school and I liked it that way. All my friends who were dating had useless drama that I found hilarious (only time it was sad was when a friends ex committed suicide, but that's a different story). I had peace of mind and was able to focus on things I enjoyed which kept me extremely busy. These days, nobody (only rarely though) marries their high school sweetheart and I knew that back then so I didn't care. I mean ya, occasionally some guy would tell me he thought I was attractive back then, but nothing came of it and that was fine.
I see how you think high school was the best time for you to date, but its also the worst time. You both are stuck with mommy and daddy (and under their rule), have hardly any money to do anything, and may or may not be driving.
Anyways, what I was trying to get at, is that even though I didn't date in high school (except for like 2 double dates my senior year, hah!), I somehow managed to date consistently as soon as I graduated. I never thought about losing my virginity either (how was I supposed to want something I never had?)...I met my first love and then it happened.
Also, I remember coming across guys like you when I was 19 and I thought you guys were strange. You have a bizarre outlook on adulthood and you seem awfully negative. Go live a little, when you're happy, everything seems good and the ladies will be drawn to that, trust me. I speak as a woman only a few years older than you.
the predicament you say you're in is you're outlook. You need to accept that the type of girl you're looking for is not going to be a virgin.
You have a point. High school relationships don't have much freedom. That's why I thought college would be better. But what good is freedom if no one wants me because I won't do them?
I don't care if she's a virgin. I just care that she accepts me as a virgin and is ok with the fact that she won't be getting any from me (although I'm not opposed to other sexual stuff, if you know what I mean).
And when you say you knew guys like me at 19, what does that mean? In what way were they like me? Did they want to stay celibate forever? Did they have a preference for girls a few years younger? Did they think high school was the perfect time to date?
So far. Just wait and see. I'm guessing you're not overly old. You might go the rest of your life without getting pregnant. But you also might get pregnant at some point. I don't know what your views on abortion are, but since you're a female (I think), you always have that option.
If I started having sex, it would be scary. I would be living in fear. I would constantly be afraid that I got her pregnant. That's no way to live.
hahaha, thanks for the advice .
good that you're taking precautions about sex, but why the paranoia? Everything in life involves risks, but you know what they say? the bigger the risk, the bigger the reward. Think about emphasizing the reward part and life will change for you, for the better. If you know how to have safe sex, just know what to do in the worst case scenario and you'll be fine. I seriously hope they taught how to put on a condom in that abstinence class you took. If not, then wow, shame on your school.
You have a point. High school relationships don't have much freedom. That's why I thought college would be better. But what good is freedom if no one wants me because I won't do them?
I don't care if she's a virgin. I just care that she accepts me as a virgin and is ok with the fact that she won't be getting any from me (although I'm not opposed to other sexual stuff, if you know what I mean).
And when you say you knew guys like me at 19, what does that mean? In what way were they like me? Did they want to stay celibate forever? Did they have a preference for girls a few years younger? Did they think high school was the perfect time to date?
Well take advantage of the freedom you have! I'm sure the girl will be fine with you being a virgin, but she may not be fine with never having sex (I know I wouldn't!). Of course if you're not in love with her and don't have the desire to, that's one thing, but if you are, why not?
I meant that I knew guys like you who instead of living and making themselves happy, constantly complained about their lack of dates and I found it quite a turn off. I don't know if they were celibate or not, its possible they were.
You're at the perfect age where just by being out and about and living your life, you're bound to run into someone who you'll hit it off with. I'm almost 25 and I still find it easy to meet people and am always making friends. Who knows where all these friendships can take me, you know? Same for you! go out there and live.
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