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Old 01-04-2011, 12:22 PM
 
Location: Maryland not Murlin
8,184 posts, read 21,431,818 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HurricaneDC View Post
Where on earth are you meeting people like that? Most people I know, myself included, who complain about that stuff really don't have any women pursuing them.
Just based on observations since about Jr. High to the present (I'm in my 30s). For example: I've lost count of the number of times I've hung out with my male friends who were "striking out", even though there were women who were flirting with them. The number of times I have seen this happen to my female friends is at lest ten-fold more. Sometimes they just didn't pick up on it, but generally they struck out because the women and men that they could have landed were not the ones they wanted to pursue. On top of that, they have the gall to claim they can't get anyone or that no-one is available.
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Old 01-04-2011, 12:22 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,837 posts, read 76,096,163 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BajanYankee View Post
And they are with equally undesirable men.
While that's generally true, sometimes you do see attractive men with unattractive women. I think they're those who've learned that being the one with more options, the one to be loved more, the one to be more important to the other one is actually in your best interest as opposed to having to feel unsafe and insecure around some cold pretty doll.
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Old 01-04-2011, 12:26 PM
 
Location: Maryland not Murlin
8,184 posts, read 21,431,818 times
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Addendum:

I don't know what kind of "life" you live, but my friends and I are fairly active. I don't mean in the physical sense of working out, jogging, playing sports or what-ever; but in the sense that we always go out (bars, music events, bowling, movies, etc.).
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Old 01-04-2011, 12:33 PM
 
Location: Crooklyn, New York
27,447 posts, read 24,105,762 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
While that's generally true, sometimes you do see attractive men with unattractive women. I think they're those who've learned that being the one with more options, the one to be loved more, the one to be more important to the other one is actually in your best interest as opposed to having to feel unsafe and insecure around some cold pretty doll.
Like I said, there are exceptions to every rule. Is there an attractive man on this earth with a plethora of women to choose from who ends up dating a relatively unattractive woman? Of course. But it's important to keep in mind that attractiveness is not the same for women as it is for men.

I have plenty of friends who are tall, attractive, athletic, and career-oriented who struggle getting cute chicks. I have other friends who are not as conventionally attractive, but yet they seem to get more cute chicks than they can handle. In a man's mind, it's hard to imagine anyone being attracted to another person for some reason other than looks, so when we see a handsome man with a busted chick, or a ugly guy with a hot girl, we scratch our heads. If men could step out of their own headspace and try to think like a woman, they'd understand that looks don't matter to women nearly as much as they matter to us.

In my observation, the men who are best with women often have a feminine side. It's their ability to understand a woman's thinking that allows them to seduce her.
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Old 01-04-2011, 12:52 PM
 
Location: Crooklyn, New York
27,447 posts, read 24,105,762 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by K-Luv View Post
The problem with "nice" guys is that they want the bad girl.
Umm, yeah...right. I bet Jaydee Stone's YouTube videos went viral because she's such a "bad girl."


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfMywXK00kY

And if she wasn't a bad girl, but the lead actress from Precious was, then guys would be chasing her down instead, right?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krQiRIUSZs0
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Old 01-04-2011, 12:58 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,837 posts, read 76,096,163 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BajanYankee View Post
In my observation, the men who are best with women often have a feminine side. It's their ability to understand a woman's thinking that allows them to seduce her.
Yeah, there is something to it... They're also the ones who know what the truth is, accept it for what it is, and work with it, not against it. As we see every day on this forum, some like to argue till the cows come home how things should work. Well, maybe they should, maybe it's reasonable, but they don't work in your desired way in reality, and until you come to terms with that and start doing it in your own best interest, no positive changes will occur.
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Old 01-04-2011, 01:03 PM
 
Location: Denver
1,788 posts, read 1,817,572 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BajanYankee View Post
Like I said, there are exceptions to every rule. Is there an attractive man on this earth with a plethora of women to choose from who ends up dating a relatively unattractive woman? Of course. But it's important to keep in mind that attractiveness is not the same for women as it is for men.

I have plenty of friends who are tall, attractive, athletic, and career-oriented who struggle getting cute chicks. I have other friends who are not as conventionally attractive, but yet they seem to get more cute chicks than they can handle. In a man's mind, it's hard to imagine anyone being attracted to another person for some reason other than looks, so when we see a handsome man with a busted chick, or a ugly guy with a hot girl, we scratch our heads. If men could step out of their own headspace and try to think like a woman, they'd understand that looks don't matter to women nearly as much as they matter to us.

In my observation, the men who are best with women often have a feminine side. It's their ability to understand a woman's thinking that allows them to seduce her.
That has been my observation as well. As one poster recently pretty well said "What woman wants to live in a cabin with Paul Bunyan."

I have known several guys who played "hide the sausage" with much "success." They all had an unusually prominent feminine side. Makes me a bit nauseous thinking about it.
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Old 01-04-2011, 01:21 PM
 
Location: Crooklyn, New York
27,447 posts, read 24,105,762 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnHAdams View Post
That has been my observation as well. As one poster recently pretty well said "What woman wants to live in a cabin with Paul Bunyan."

I have known several guys who played "hide the sausage" with much "success." They all had an unusually prominent feminine side. Makes me a bit nauseous thinking about it.
If I had to draw an analogy, I would analogize a woman's attraction to a man to a man's attraction to a certain car.

When it comes to cars, there are certain things we value: suspension, steering, horsepower, acceleration, speed, braking, etc. But ultimately, the thing that matters most is the ride. It's the experience while in the car that counts. All of the things I just mentioned generally contribute to a better experience, but not necessarily. If we find a car that has less horsepower and less acceleration, but we enjoy the ride better, we'll probably opt for that car.

When it comes to men, there are certain things women value: height, money, looks, intelligence, humor. But ultimately, the thing that matters most is the feeling. It's the experience she has while she's in a man's presence that counts. All of the things I mentioned generally contribute to that feeling, but not necessarily. If a woman finds a man that's not as tall, not as rich, or not as smart, but she gets that feeling, then she'll probably opt for that man.

I think of "game" as that intangible quality that evokes a certain feeling in women more reliably than objective measures such as height, money, and power. It's comparable to the sleek, aerodynamic design of a Porsche that allows it to beat more powerful cars on the racetrack.
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Old 01-04-2011, 01:32 PM
 
2,726 posts, read 4,288,732 times
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I recently read Pride and Prejudice so there will be obvious influence from there.

What I understood from the OP is that a man should have pride but not be vain according to how a character described the difference between the two.

Quote:
A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us.
I will also add that a proud man should be aware of his own behavior, his surroundings and the behavior of the opposite sex.

In my own circle and even with myself, I have found lack of awareness to be a big issue. It is not because of self-absorption or at least not in a negative sense. It is mostly because I am so concerned about what others think of me that in the process of trying to please another person, I also do something socially wrong. So I believe that this [awareness] is key.

As far as confidence, a person who tells himself that he needs to be more confident has not internalized it. I believe if a person needs more of it, he doesn't have it. If he has it, he doesn't need it.
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Old 01-04-2011, 02:13 PM
 
Location: Miami, FL
3,441 posts, read 4,787,050 times
Reputation: 2199
[quote=BajanYankee;17255638]Like I said, there are exceptions to every rule. Is there an attractive man on this earth with a plethora of women to choose from who ends up dating a relatively unattractive woman? Of course. But it's important to keep in mind that attractiveness is not the same for women as it is for men.

I have plenty of friends who are tall, attractive, athletic, and career-oriented who struggle getting cute chicks. I have other friends who are not as conventionally attractive, but yet they seem to get more cute chicks than they can handle. In a man's mind, it's hard to imagine anyone being attracted to another person for some reason other than looks, so when we see a handsome man with a busted chick, or a ugly guy with a hot girl, we scratch our heads. If men could step out of their own headspace and try to think like a woman, they'd understand that looks don't matter to women nearly as much as they matter to us.

In my observation, the men who are best with women often have a feminine side. It's their ability to understand a woman's thinking that allows them to seduce her.[/quote]

No, women are becoming more masculine these days and are attracted to more feminine guys.

It does not have so much to do whether they understand women more or not, women are becoming more and more attracted to guys who exhibit feminine traits.

Notice how many women discover they're bisexual for the first time after they start dating a guy?

These days, there is a direct assault against manly men due to the media.

Backtrack to the 1970s when it is COOL for a man be VERY masculine.

The whole order is being reversed between men and women.

That's why you see the "metrosexual" fad becoming popular and women are buying into it.

Women and the media are largely to blame for this, for MANY women grow up without fathers and never have a "masculine" role model in the home and are raised by mothers who have to play the father role.


Expect for men to become increasingly feminine in the near future just as women have become unbelievably masculine.

Women have been taught to hate masculinity because it would force them to give up their own power for a man's love.

Social engineering, my friend.

Last edited by Black Jack22; 01-04-2011 at 02:23 PM..
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