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Wow! I know you read about all the 'bad' stuff here. Forget about all that for a minute. You are missing out on some of the best times life has to offer. You are 37 and you only get one life. Start living it. And that does involve relationships with other people.
What are you avoiding? Rejection? It's not really that bad, you recover, learn, and move on. Are you avoiding feelings and emotion in general? You know, if you won't allow yourself to feel, you will miss out on the best and worst of life. But the best is so worth it.
I hope you find a way to allow yourself to experience love and life. Put yourself out there. Take a chance. And in your place, I would be totally honest about your past. You have some catching up to do and a lot to learn. If your partner knows you are a newbie, hopefully they will be more understanding and patient.
Wow! I know you read about all the 'bad' stuff here. Forget about all that for a minute. You are missing out on some of the best times life has to offer. You are 37 and you only get one life. Start living it. And that does involve relationships with other people.
What are you avoiding? Rejection? It's not really that bad, you recover, learn, and move on. Are you avoiding feelings and emotion in general? You know, if you won't allow yourself to feel, you will miss out on the best and worst of life. But the best is so worth it.
I hope you find a way to allow yourself to experience love and life. Put yourself out there. Take a chance. And in your place, I would be totally honest about your past. You have some catching up to do and a lot to learn. If your partner knows you are a newbie, hopefully they will be more understanding and patient.
Best of luck.
Avoiding trouble in general but I won't lie, when I think about relationships I think about jealously, drama queens, rows, being controlled, financial trouble, etc.
She just texted me asking if I'm busy on Friday night.
You are now, right? Busy going out with her? Say yes, say yes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jamfreak
Avoiding trouble in general but I won't lie, when I think about relationships I think about jealously, drama queens, rows, being controlled, financial trouble, etc.
That's other people, not you and it doesn't sound like she is a drama queen either. Most people do the drama because they get something out of it. The key to being in a relationship is communication--tell her of your inexperience, leaving out the part about the pros, and ask her to let you know what she needs--chances are over 95% that she already knows you're inexperienced so she's not turned off by it, so she'll be willing to work with you, and the fact that you care what she feels is very important. But of course we go easy on that stuff Friday night--see where it goes after that and as you get into a relationship slowly, you can talk about these things. Do kiss her though--if the time is right and she's not turning away, she'll want you to.
You are now, right? Busy going out with her? Say yes, say yes.
Mummy always told me not to lie and I had nothing planned for Friday night.
Quote:
Originally Posted by stepka
That's other people, not you and it doesn't sound like she is a drama queen either. Most people do the drama because they get something out of it. The key to being in a relationship is communication--tell her of your inexperience, leaving out the part about the pros, and ask her to let you know what she needs--chances are over 95% that she already knows you're inexperienced so she's not turned off by it, so she'll be willing to work with you, and the fact that you care what she feels is very important. But of course we go easy on that stuff Friday night--see where it goes after that and as you get into a relationship slowly, you can talk about these things. Do kiss her though--if the time is right and she's not turning away, she'll want you to.
I'm sure you're right but I've seen things in my friends relationships, you can probably imagine. Let's hope things go right Friday night, at first I thought we were to do things with friends but apparently it's only us too. I'm sure she knows I'm inexperienced. Any normal guy would have already taken her to the back room. I hope I don't give up on the date by Friday afternoon and I don't say something stupid.
Mummy always told me not to lie and I had nothing planned for Friday night.
I'm sure you're right but I've seen things in my friends relationships, you can probably imagine. Let's hope things go right Friday night, at first I thought we were to do things with friends but apparently it's only us too. I'm sure she knows I'm inexperienced. Any normal guy would have already taken her to the back room. I hope I don't give up on the date by Friday afternoon and I don't say something stupid.
Do 1st dates always involve kissing?
Dude, she likes you, why self doubt yourself because you know she likes you, so that makes you king and think of yourself as king, not in a cocky way but to yourself think that. If the time presents itself kiss her in a soft passionate way. Don't ask, just do it.
It is a first date, so it is about fun, don't go into deep s*** about yourself, don't worry about the future with her, just have fun. If you two click, there will be tension building and then give her that soft passionate kiss that tells her you are hot and not a "friend".
"To thine own self be true" If u know who u r and what u are prepared to do and it's working for u then work it. However, if u want to stretch yourself and u thing this chick is worth the risk do that too. Either way u gone pay a price. Good luck
Dude, she likes you, why self doubt yourself because you know she likes you, so that makes you king and think of yourself as king, not in a cocky way but to yourself think that. If the time presents itself kiss her in a soft passionate way. Don't ask, just do it.
It is a first date, so it is about fun, don't go into deep s*** about yourself, don't worry about the future with her, just have fun. If you two click, there will be tension building and then give her that soft passionate kiss that tells her you are hot and not a "friend".
I'm not used to having women caring about what I say, what I think, what I'm interested in...the thought 'what has she seen in me anyway?' always knocks on the door.
No, but if you two are clicking and tension is building give a night night kiss at least, that is a kiss more than you would give mom but not pushy. A kiss that makes her want to see what comes next. Don't say how you like her, or over compliment her, that kiss says it better than words can say plus you won't look like a compliment thrower and it will make you look confident. And confident you should be because you already know she has intitial interest in you.
I'm not used to having women caring about what I say, what I think, what I'm interested in...the thought 'what has she seen in me anyway?' always knocks on the door.
You need to loose that thought right now. When you tell someone "I'm too good for you" they will start to think it. When you tell someone "what do you see in me anyway" they start questioning why they do.
We all have insecurities, she does also remember that. Focus on good points. She has interest in you, that means you are desirable, now believe it in yourself also.
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