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Old 01-05-2011, 10:47 AM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
42 posts, read 91,270 times
Reputation: 34
Default Profile of a Female Sociopath?

I have a friend who demonstrates some very odd behavior at times. When I came back to this site, I saw a thread on sociopaths, and wondered if women can be sociopaths as well. Based on the following statements and actions, I have some reason to believe that it is possible for a woman to be a sociopath:

She is very smart, energetic, and charming. Very extraverted and always looking to have a good time. She laughs and smiles a lot and comes off as very personable.

She once told me: "I shouldn't have to work because I'm so pretty. Pretty girls shouldn't have to work."

On her Facebook page, her "About Me" section says: "You have an angelic face, great hair, teriffic legs, perfect teeth, a wonderful personality, killer eyes, a great job, and a shape to die for." She attributes this quote to her best friend.

She is doing something that is illegal, but she has given us what at first seemed like a good reason for doing it. She has told me a number of stories, which frankly, cause me to feel sorry for her.

When she joined us for dinner a few weeks ago, she told us she had a project to finish for work, and when we decided to go bowling after, she had no problem joining us and blowing off her project. "My boss will just get it when he gets it," she said.

She says she gets bored easily. She's always sending out emails asking if anyone wants to engage in high-paced, exciting activities with her, like skydiving. She has said before that she is impulsive.

She completely flaked on one of our friends when she was supposed to go to an event with her. All she had to say was, "I'm sorry to disappoint you."

She once told me that she was looking to move because she can't stand the thought of being in any one city for more than a couple of years. Although she has a good job, and is really smart, she does not seem to care about her professional future very much, and always comes up with random business ideas.

She often accuses other people of being manipulative. She admitted, however, that it boosts her ego when she knows she can manipulate a man's emotions. She also says that she loses interest after she gets what she wants. She once said aloud, "I run away from guys who chase me. If the shoe was on the other foot, I'm sure they would run away from me. Such is life."

She never seems to be heartbroken for very long. She'll cry the day of a breakup, and two days later, she's back to dating.

She admits to being a flirt and says that she sees no problem with "dating around."

The final straw came when she asked three of us (two guys and a girl) to help her move into a new apartment. After we finished the move, she told us that she was tired, and that she would not be able to treat us to drinks as she had promised before. We didn't really care about her actually buying drinks, but we all sensed that she was lying, and the she just wanted to go do something more interesting.

When we told her that her actions did not seem courteous, she turned around and accussed us of lacking courtesy, and then said that the "courteous thing to do" would be for us to understand that she was tired, and that she did not feel like taking us out for drinks. She said she would take us out "later."

No one has heard from her since. When I add up all of the evidence, I think she may be a sociopath, but I just can't believe that I could ever allow someone like that into my life. And I'm having a hard time believing she could just ditch us on such a bogus pretext and stop talking to us. I thought we were supposed to be friends. And I thought that only men could be sociopaths.

Thoughts?

Last edited by Gentle Don; 01-05-2011 at 11:02 AM..
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Old 01-05-2011, 11:00 AM
 
Location: Maryland
130 posts, read 167,072 times
Reputation: 144
She is not a sociopath but she may be a narcissist. She definitely has all the traits.
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Old 01-05-2011, 11:01 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
20,576 posts, read 17,100,318 times
Reputation: 28674
I may not fully understand what a sociopath is, but it is a clinical term that is frequently exaggerated and overused in casual conversation, like paranoia, depression, bipolar disorder, PTSD, schizophrenia, etc. Your friend sounds flighty and shallow. Not sure about the sociopathic aspect.
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Old 01-05-2011, 11:05 AM
 
1,058 posts, read 1,036,987 times
Reputation: 1972
No need to diagnose her or be her friend. Ditch the user. She sounds like pretty poison to me.

Last edited by AK-Cathy; 01-05-2011 at 11:14 AM..
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Old 01-05-2011, 11:12 AM
 
3,573 posts, read 3,052,455 times
Reputation: 3326
She's not a sociopath just a self-absorbed, shallow, self-centered person. She sounds like a narcissist but probably not. She's just a person that thinks she is entitled to everything. There are alot of men and women thinking that way now. They look at reality TV and fashion themselves from Paris Hilton and you get what you're friend is. She's out of touch with reality like so many people nowadays.

I'd drop her as a friend and wouldn't have anything to do with her. Also woman can be sociopaths and can be more dangerous then men sociopaths since no one suspects a women to be.
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Old 01-05-2011, 11:27 AM
 
Location: Between Philadelphia and Allentown, PA
5,079 posts, read 8,222,210 times
Reputation: 3597
Thoughts? Yep. I think your friend is off her rocker. I think she's one of those types that loves all of the attention on her and if it's not on her then she wants nothing to do with anything. I think she really believes that she can do no wrong and that everyone should cater to her and be happy to even be in her presence.
This is the type of person that can't possibly be a good friend because their are so focused on themselves they can't see anything else. Sociopath? Nah, I don't think it's that severe, but she isn't someone I could be friends with.
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Old 01-05-2011, 11:32 AM
 
19 posts, read 36,962 times
Reputation: 17
You totally just described my ex...
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Old 01-05-2011, 11:39 AM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
42 posts, read 91,270 times
Reputation: 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by mizdezigner View Post
She is not a sociopath but she may be a narcissist. She definitely has all the traits.
But the reason I think it goes beyond narcissism is that she doesn't seem to be remorseful for anything she's done. She also seems to be very good at gaining people's sympathy and then exploiting that sympathy to her own ends.

For example, she's currently breaking a law and he feels perfectly justified in doing so. If you hear her tell it, she is a victim of very unfortunate circumstance, and when you hear her tell her story, it does sound very convincing. It even makes you feel sorry for her, and many of my other friends have made great effort to help her with her troubles. But once I started thinking about it, I realized that her problem is completely of her own making, and that she could have easily avoided such a problem by doing what everyone else does: obeying the law. Her mindset is not "I know this is wrong, and I cry about it, but I beg God's forgiveness every day." She actually uses biblical stories to justify what she's doing. That just seems odd to me.

Then when we helped her move, she didn't seem to think that it was the least bit shady to not even offer to take us out. If your friends helped you move, wouldn't you at least offer to buy them dinner, drinks, or anything? Or at the very least, make it known from the bottom of your heart that you really and sincerely appreciated what they had done for you. She seemed offended at the thought that we expected even a gesture from her. And when we called her out on how inconsiderate she was being, she accused us of being inconsiderate, because we failed to appreciate the fact that she was tired. Well, guess what? We were tired too after helping her move all of her crap!! Yet, we see all of her Facebook updates, and she just carries on with other friends as if nothing ever happened. It's like she didn't even pause to consider that maybe she was wrong and that she's throwing away loyal friends over something very silly.

And the other big thing is that she just makes these statements out loud that give off the air of more than a bratty princess. When someone says out loud that she "enjoys manipulating men's emotions," that goes beyond narcissism, doesn't it?
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Old 01-05-2011, 11:42 AM
 
4,445 posts, read 3,789,361 times
Reputation: 2606
she sounds neurotic to me! Ditch her, fast! that'll show her!
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Old 01-05-2011, 11:45 AM
 
3,573 posts, read 3,052,455 times
Reputation: 3326
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gentle Don View Post
But the reason I think it goes beyond narcissism is that she doesn't seem to be remorseful for anything she's done. She also seems to be very good at gaining people's sympathy and then exploiting that sympathy to her own ends.

For example, she's currently breaking a law and he feels perfectly justified in doing so. If you hear her tell it, she is a victim of very unfortunate circumstance, and when you hear her tell her story, it does sound very convincing. It even makes you feel sorry for her, and many of my other friends have made great effort to help her with her troubles. But once I started thinking about it, I realized that her problem is completely of her own making, and that she could have easily avoided such a problem by doing what everyone else does: obeying the law. Her mindset is not "I know this is wrong, and I cry about it, but I beg God's forgiveness every day." She actually uses biblical stories to justify what she's doing. That just seems odd to me.

Then when we helped her move, she didn't seem to think that it was the least bit shady to not even offer to take us out. If your friends helped you move, wouldn't you at least offer to buy them dinner, drinks, or anything? She seemed offended at the thought that we expected even a gesture from her. And when we called her out on how inconsiderate she was being, she accused us of being inconsiderate, because we failed to appreciate the fact that she was tired. Well, guess what? We were tired too after helping her move all of her crap!! Yet, we see all of her Facebook updates, and she just carries on with other friends as if nothing ever happened. It's like she didn't even pause to consider that maybe she was wrong and that she's throwing away loyal friends over something very silly.

And the other big thing is that she just makes these statements out loud that give off the air of more than a bratty princess. When someone says out loud that she "enjoys manipulating men's emotions," that goes beyond narcissism, doesn't it?
Still a self-absorbed, shallow, self-centered bee-otch. No need to analyze her, just dump her as a friend.
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