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Old 01-06-2011, 03:06 PM
 
433 posts, read 1,024,810 times
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I know what you're all thinking, you're the guy, you ask her out!!! But here's my situation...

This is a follow-up to my previous thread: Girls here, would you date an unemployed guy?

So I there's this girl I'm interested in, I'm 19 and in vocational trade school, she looks to be around the same age. After next week, I'm going to have a month off from school, since I'll be waiting to complete the module that I didn't pass the first time. Before then, I'll only be seeing her for two days. I have no job yet, but how can I show her I'm interested? How do I give her a hint?

I know some of you guys on my previous thread said it didn't matter at my age that I didn't have a job, but I still want to be a little careful about how I spend from my savings. Maybe we could just go on cheap dates at first, like a coffee shop, each other's houses, free local events, etc. Maybe I should smoke with her one time, even though I'm not a smoker, maybe I could take it up occasionally with her? Maybe we could be just friends at first and I'll drop hints during our friendship?

Do you guys/girls have any other ideas and what do you all think of this situation?
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Old 01-06-2011, 03:12 PM
 
3,721 posts, read 6,473,447 times
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If you have her number, call her and say let's get together at X coffee shop. Or if you don't have her number but see her in person, ask her the same thing.

How to show her you're interested means that you take the initiative to ask her out somewhere. Doesn't have to be a 4 star restaurant. During that time, ask her about herself. Don't monopolize the conversation with just you. Be on time or just a bit earlier.

Oh and make sure you have the money to take her out that day. It will look very bad if you have to ask her to pay for herself.
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Old 01-06-2011, 03:14 PM
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
9,371 posts, read 17,028,591 times
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I'd rule out smoking with her, or any other serious compromises.

Ask her out for coffee at first, or perhaps an inexpensive lunch somewhere. Search for some inexpensive galleries or museums in your area and see if she'd be interested in going with you.
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Old 01-06-2011, 03:18 PM
 
3,721 posts, read 6,473,447 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Coolhand68 View Post
I'd rule out smoking with her, or any other serious compromises.

Ask her out for coffee at first, or perhaps an inexpensive lunch somewhere. Search for some inexpensive galleries or museums in your area and see if she'd be interested in going with you.
I agree on the smoking and the inexpensive lunch and museums.

Funny, just as I got out of college, there was this fallacy that a first date with a woman meant an expensive dinner. I found out soon enough that they weren't looking for that.
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Old 01-06-2011, 03:23 PM
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
9,371 posts, read 17,028,591 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thebobs View Post
I agree on the smoking and the inexpensive lunch and museums.

Funny, just as I got out of college, there was this fallacy that a first date with a woman meant an expensive dinner. I found out soon enough that they weren't looking for that.
Yeah, a lot of guys want to make a killing on that first date with expensive dinners or spending a lot of money on their date. From my experience creativity goes a lot farther than using the smoke and mirrors of flashing a lot of cash that you don't really have. Once you set that precedent of spoiling them early on just to make an impression, you've painted yourself into a corner. Better to start out with some fun and creative and within your means.
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Old 01-06-2011, 03:32 PM
 
1,206 posts, read 2,368,203 times
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yea its more about the opportunity it sets up to get to know her and spend time on her. That should be the focus on the date, not "wowing" her with expenses. Just take her for lunch at a place that costs about 10 dollars per person. That isn't too much is it? If not then just take a walk in a nice museum (free/cheap) and then go to a cafe for some cake and coffee.

The focus really should be letting your personality shine and getting to connect to her. Girls want to see confidence and a certain passion for life.
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Old 01-06-2011, 03:37 PM
 
Location: Columbia, California
6,662 posts, read 24,539,778 times
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I scuba dive. On occasion I hunt lobster. I found if you hesitate the lobster will withdraw and become un reachable.
Women are the same as lobster. They will make themselves available for a limited time, if you hesitate they move on. You have to realize women get hit on dozens of times a day.
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Old 01-06-2011, 03:54 PM
 
3,721 posts, read 6,473,447 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ferretkona View Post
I scuba dive. On occasion I hunt lobster. I found if you hesitate the lobster will withdraw and become un reachable.
Women are the same as lobster. They will make themselves available for a limited time, if you hesitate they move on. You have to realize women get hit on dozens of times a day.
Hmm, perhaps if TVSG wore scuba gear on a date he may have a better chance for a second date.
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Old 01-06-2011, 05:00 PM
 
Location: John & Ken-ville
13,668 posts, read 14,640,086 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mtlquebec102 View Post
Maybe I should smoke with her one time, even though I'm not a smoker, maybe I could take it up occasionally with her?
Since when is a "smoking" an option for a date activity? Are you kidding?

You're 19. I say make a friend because you can't afford anything else right now.

And yeah, if you've got a savings account you need to be focusing on that and not entertaining someone on a date.

Time to grow up and set your priorities.

Sex and companionship shouldn't be a priority for a 19 year old even though it's the ONLY thing on your mind right now.

You're persistent so I am fairly sure this is someone you're interested in and won't take anyone's advice around here cause it's your second thread on this subject in as many days.

So go for it, spend your money ask her out. You don't even know if she's interested in dating an unemployed 19 year old, if she's got someone she's dating who has a job, or if she's even interested in you at all.

Only one way to find out.

Ask her out.
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Old 01-06-2011, 05:25 PM
 
Location: state of procrastination
3,487 posts, read 5,933,657 times
Reputation: 2875
Now I know what turmoil goes on in a guy's head. Thank goodness I'm not a dude!

Seriously I think for 19 year olds, elaborate dates do not matter. Are you hot or not? That's pretty much the only thing that matters.
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