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Some people seem to be natural "flirts" and don't understand why partners get jealous, or why people hit on them when they're not really interested in that person.
Me, I can't flirt, and I wouldn't know where to start. It's not my way.
I don't personally know anyone that can turn their personality on and off like a light.
How sad it is that you think every other person you are near owes you a chat, with your high horse, I'm not sure how one would bare. It is not about an inability to talk to anyone, but not walking up to everyone with the naive idea that we're all friends or that anyone owes you their friendship. We all ought to be polite, which includes respecting others' space.
From my reading of her post (donnie1) I did not see any mention of "owes you a chat". I just read her comment to mean that people seem to be unable to engage in common everyday conversation. I expect this is more commonly the Urban folk who being constantly crowded together need to carve out space for privacy. It is one thing to talk to 2-3 people a week in a Rural setting than it is to have conversations with the horde of people a City dweller encounters. It is one reason I hate visiting highly populated areas because too many people will seek to talk to me. This makes it difficult to accomplish the tasks I visited the hell hole (city) in the first place.
How sad it is that you think every other person you are near owes you a chat, with your high horse, I'm not sure how one would bare. It is not about an inability to talk to anyone, but not walking up to everyone with the naive idea that we're all friends or that anyone owes you their friendship. We all ought to be polite, which includes respecting others' space.
Of course I don't expect or want everyone near me to chat with me. For gosh sakes, let's get real. I can't talk THAT much nor would I want to. I'm just saying that if you can pick up someone's body language and know that they want to talk to you, why not be polite and talk to them? While standing in line at the grocery store, you can talk to someone to pass the time.
I live in a rural community and we talk to each other without talking each other's ears off. It's just being polite and courteous.
It's totally different in the urban areas but still I think it's nice to talk to someone close to you while in a restaurant, museum, whatever.
I agree with those that said it's empathy. It's not what you might think, observing people like this, because they seem to be receiving as quickly as they're giving; but of course that's the beauty of it. To the OP, if you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation, a stage-fright situation, try to jerk your attention off of yourself and onto the other person; it's healthy, it's a form of meditation. Before you realize it you'll be at ease, you'll be appropriately focused on the issue at hand, the other person will begin to show gratitude that you are really interested in their needs, and you will be riding the momentum of social reciprocation.. BUT and here;s the tricky part: You really have to give a damn about the other person; if only for that time, not always a given and not always easy when you're only seeing things as how they apply to YOU. That's the general "YOU", of course.
Some people seem to be natural "flirts" and don't understand why partners get jealous, or why people hit on them when they're not really interested in that person.
Me, I can't flirt, and I wouldn't know where to start. It's not my way.
I don't personally know anyone that can turn their personality on and off like a light.
I don't know how to flirt either, nor do I have an interest in flirting.
It appears some people flirt for fun or to lead someone on. Flirting doesn't always mean they're interested.
If someone wants to be in a relationship with me, they can do it without flirting.
Seriously. Taboo, unconventional, inappropriate...really..how about being friendly and talking to your fellow man..or woman. What is happening to our society when people think it's inappropriate or not acceptable to talk to strangers?
I remember years ago when this whole thing with teaching our children not to talk to strangers and some parents really went overboard and scared the h$ll out of their kids.
Evidently, here it is 20 years now and you kids that got scared sh$tless on talking to strangers are on here and are so socially awkward that you can't talk to ANYONE.
How sad we've become as a society.
That reminds me of something that happened when I was 12. I was in my (no longer a) friend's garage and we found a book called Never Talk To Strangers. His mom must have read that to him and his siblings when they were younger.
How sad it is that you think every other person you are near owes you a chat, with your high horse, I'm not sure how one would bare. It is not about an inability to talk to anyone, but not walking up to everyone with the naive idea that we're all friends or that anyone owes you their friendship. We all ought to be polite, which includes respecting others' space.
People on this forum used to accuse me of thinking people owe me a friendship.
Like it was said I think charisma has a lot to do with it. They make people feel happy and laugh and tend to easily draw people towards them. They can easily handle awkward social moments and they seem to know just what to say. And some people are natural leaders which helps too.
I noticed something today that reminded me of this thread.
There's a girl I'm friends with. There's another guy that she's also friends with.
But the way the other guy interacts with her is different. They seem like a couple, even though she's in a relationship with someone else.
The other guy that's friends with her is obviously a ladies man. But if they're just friends, I wonder why there's such a big difference between the way he interacts with her and the way I interact with her.
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