Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I have an awesome boyfriend. We've been together for over six years now. Yes, he finds me very attractive looking, however what really impresses him is my mind and our common interests. The other day, we were looking through the current Lands End catalogue. On the page of womens car coats, the model is standing in front of a green car. Only a fragment of the car is visible. My boyfriend asked me what kind of car it is... and I immediately say that it's an old BMW 2002. His reply "Niiice!!!" and then he said "I got the best one." and smiled broadly.
BTW... I've never had any problems finding a boyfriend. I even have a couple of guys hoping that I will one day be single again. Shrug.
I have an awesome boyfriend. We've been together for over six years now. Yes, he finds me very attractive looking, however what really impresses him is my mind and our common interests. The other day, we were looking through the current Lands End catalogue. On the page of womens car coats, the model is standing in front of a green car. Only a fragment of the car is visible. My boyfriend asked me what kind of car it is... and I immediately say that it's an old BMW 2002. His reply "Niiice!!!" and then he said "I got the best one." and smiled broadly.
BTW... I've never had any problems finding a boyfriend. I even have a couple of guys hoping that I will one day be single again. Shrug.
yes but the question was would you give a guy your number after speaking to him for 5 minutes.
what some of us are trying to say is if you have a chance encounter with someone you have never met and may never see again, and he asks for your number, would you ive it??
I completely agree with you. I wouldn't date any man who was only physically attracted to me. I prefer a man that took to the time to really get to know something about my interests, IQ, morals and the inner me before asking me out. Infatuation and lust feelings can hide the obvious flaws and divides between us. I see no reason to waste romantic time with the wrong person.
That works well if you are young and have a large and diverse social circle. But if your friends and co-workers are a small and limited group, it's a poor method, especially as you get older and meet fewer available people.
I completely agree with you. I wouldn't date any man who was only physically attracted to me. I prefer a man that took to the time to really get to know something aboutmy interests, IQ, morals and the inner me before asking me out. Infatuation and lust feelings can hide the obvious flaws and divides between us. I see no reason to waste romantic time with the wrong person.
That's what dating is for. How can he find out all this stuff without spending time with you and getting to know you? That's dating!
That works well if you are young and have a large and diverse social circle. But if your friends and co-workers are a small and limited group, it's a poor method, especially as you get older and meet fewer available people.
But I'm not that young. I'm 52 years old.
If your social circle is all "fished out" then it's time to get out of your comfort zone and meet new people. Find some new hobbies, volunteer for a charity, take a class, or find a part time job. I meet tons of cool people at work. And I approach them for platonic friendships.
That's what dating is for. How can he find out all this stuff without spending time with you and getting to know you? That's dating!
Nope. A date to me is going out for drinks or dinner. I don't want any sort of romantic overtones while getting to know each other. I would want to make sure that we were very compatible in all ways before considering him as a potential boyfriend. Why rush something so important?
If I a stranger told me that he wanted to go out on a "date" and offered me his phone number, I would accept his business card, but not his personal phone number. And if we were to set up a meet up, I would be up front and very clear that it wasn't a "date". I might suggest a lunch during his work day, but definitely not after work or evening. The rest is up to him. If his approach was trying to romance or charm me into more, I would not spend anymore time with him.
I really hate when a guy tries to come onto me sexually, like telling me that Chinese women have silky soft skin or that my hair is long and sexy looking, that really creeps me out. I just run away from guys like that... which is why if a random stranger is trying to ask me out, I would really prefer not to have any other contact with him. And I would never wonder about what might have been. Real life is not a fairy tale or a soap opera. And I don't wish it to be like that either.
I have an awesome boyfriend. We've been together for over six years now. Yes, he finds me very attractive looking, however what really impresses him is my mind and our common interests. The other day, we were looking through the current Lands End catalogue. On the page of womens car coats, the model is standing in front of a green car. Only a fragment of the car is visible. My boyfriend asked me what kind of car it is... and I immediately say that it's an old BMW 2002. His reply "Niiice!!!" and then he said "I got the best one." and smiled broadly.
BTW... I've never had any problems finding a boyfriend. I even have a couple of guys hoping that I will one day be single again. Shrug.
Okay, but how is a guy supposed to know anything about you if you won't date him?
Okay, but how is a guy supposed to know anything about you if you won't date him?
How about if we become platonic acquaintances first before "dating"? Why the rush to date? All my boyfriends are placed in the "friend zone" first. If I find that they are best friend quality, then the next step could be dating. But not before. I am not interested in being swept off my feet into a foolish infatuation/sexual affair. And I will not be rushed either.
The problem I have is if a stranger uses the word "date" right away. I don't want a stranger buying me drinks or dinner until I get to know him and determine that it's wise to allow him into my life. It takes time to enter my "circle of trust"... lol.
How about if we become platonic acquaintances first before "dating"? Why the rush to date? All my boyfriends are placed in the "friend zone" first. If I find that they are best friend quality, then the next step could be dating. But not before. I am not interested in being swept off my feet into a foolish infatuation/sexual affair. And I will not be rushed either.
The problem I have is if a stranger uses the word "date" right away. I don't want a stranger buying me drinks or dinner until I get to know him and determine that it's wise to allow him into my life. It takes time to enter my "circle of trust"... lol.
Oh. We have different definitions of what dating can be. You seem to associate it as a "hook up" where some guy is trying to get in your pants. I see it as way to break ice and get to know each other. Date for a period of time and see if it's to be exclusive. Diff'rent strokes for diff'rent folks.
But, hey, I actually never date so what the hell do I know. Perhaps you're right.
I'm trying to understand your view, miu. You insist on friendship first, before dating, because you use friendship as a weeding tool to cull out inapproriate matches before you actually date them.
Quote:
I would want to make sure that we were very compatible in all ways before considering him as a potential boyfriend.
So basically, by the time you get around to your first date, you already consider them a serious candidate to be your boyfriend. Right? I don't think it's right or wrong, it's just a different style.
I didn't ever take dating that seriously. I accepted most proper date requests from men (unless it was obvious just by looking at him that it was not going to work), and if we weren't a good match, it was no big deal. Having dinner or drinks doesn't automatically mean they've earned their way into my circle of trust.
Last edited by boodhabunny; 01-08-2011 at 01:32 PM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
