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Old 01-10-2011, 01:07 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
14,229 posts, read 29,970,145 times
Reputation: 27686

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My sister has been in a long term lesbian relationship for decades. I like her SO and we get along well.

Here's the interesting part, neither of them are convinced they are lesbians and they both confess they are attracted to some men. They believe they fell in love with the PERSON, and that individual's gender was a secondary concern.
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Old 01-10-2011, 05:10 PM
 
10,449 posts, read 12,439,563 times
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Personally I've always felt gay. I tried dating guys but it was just because of social expectation and I never "felt" anything with men. I'm sort of dating my roommate now, but he's more of a chosen brother. It feels very different from my relationship with my wife.

That said, I think some women just never realize they're bisexual until later in life. Some women turn over a new leaf and on that new side they realize is a relationship with a woman. And I agree that relationships between two women aren't necessarily safer or gentler. Trust me when I say women can be plenty abusive--rape, hitting, the whole works.

Human sexuality is complex. The emotions behind relationships and sexual attraction are complex. I wouldn't be surprised if all the possibilities mentioned in this thread are true for someone somewhere.
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Old 01-10-2011, 06:02 PM
 
1,496 posts, read 2,435,075 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stepka View Post
I have a gay daughter who has always felt that way, though at 18, we're not talking about a really long time--since she was 12? I didn't see it coming b/c she's very feminine.
what did you do ?
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Old 01-10-2011, 06:15 PM
 
Location: state of procrastination
3,485 posts, read 7,295,273 times
Reputation: 2913
Some people value the mental connection and emotional support regardless of sexual orientation. And it's easy for women to be physically attracted to other women because the female body is just more aesthetically and universally appealing. There is no social stigma either, as with men. Guys are obviously attracted to their own bodies, seeing how they enjoy flexing in front of the mirror after working out. But their internal homophobia and the logistics/mechanics of male-male sex (as compared to less invasive FF sex) will not allow them to look at another man in the same way. I think women like the looks of their own body and sometimes can translate that to other women's bodies. If I met a woman that I got along with really well I would see it as no different than being with a man. But to be honest, most women who are bi/lesbian and I do not have much in common so I've never been tempted. I would not say that I'm bisexual... more like I don't care either way. I am gender neutral and I see people for who they are. I've been gender neutral even in grade school. In later years I've questioned whether I might be asexual, bisexual, or lesbian but I just think in the end I am not even truly heterosexual (or anything else).

Last edited by miyu; 01-10-2011 at 06:27 PM..
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Old 01-10-2011, 06:24 PM
 
Location: Minneapolis
2,526 posts, read 3,042,222 times
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There is a notion within feminism known as "political lesbianism". The idea is that some women choose, for ideological reasons, to refrain from sexual activity with males. These women may not be attracted to other women. They may, in fact be sexually attracted to men. However, they view abstinence from heterosexuality as a means of protesting what they see as a patriarchal system.
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Old 01-10-2011, 06:40 PM
 
Location: SW Missouri
15,853 posts, read 35,068,861 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
As opposed to gay men. Have you noticed this? Now I do know true bonafide lesbians (one of my best friends is one), but I also hear about how many women were 'perfectly straight' and then, out of the blue, decided to run away with another woman. I'm not even talking about bi or 'bi-curious' women.

Do you think they're orientation did change or do you think lesbianism/female sexuality is simply more mental than male? Or is it that they were living a lie (which then again makes no sense for those who insist they used to be straight).

In some ways females don't seem to have much of an orientation: like female animals and stuff often seem disinterested in males. Are we actually mostly the same? Is the female sex drive more culturally driven (I'm not saying it's all cultural or 'nurture' of course) than the male one?
I believe that there is a flavor of lesbian that comes with being so damn tired of putting up with men's $-h-i-t that they just give up and decide that it is better to be with a woman who UNDERSTANDS. Also, I think there is a flavor of lesbian that is hopelessly unattractive to men and they tend to find others of the same persuasion and couple up.

But I also believe that there are women who "tend" to be lesbionic at a very young age and drift in that direction as they mature. But there are some of these types who marry men and raise children, so you really can't put your finger on it.

20yrsinBranson
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Old 01-10-2011, 06:46 PM
 
Location: New England
1,054 posts, read 1,406,209 times
Reputation: 1830
There were never many political lesbians, and their era was pretty much limited to the 1970s. It just didn't catch on with many women--either you could say the heterosexual urge is too widespread, or maybe patriarchy has its tentacles wrapped too tightly around everyone. There was an article in the New York Times a while ago about a community of aging lesbians in Alabama--hey, I managed to find it.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/01/fa...omyn.html?_r=1
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Old 01-10-2011, 09:28 PM
 
Location: Southern Illinois
10,364 posts, read 20,755,761 times
Reputation: 15643
Quote:
Originally Posted by paladinking View Post
what did you do ?
Well first I locked her in a closet and only gave her bread and water for a week while I worked on extracting a promise that she would only go out with boys from now on. Right! (said in best Bill Cosby tone of voice) What could I do except talk to her and tell her that I'm still her mom as long as she needs me and beyond. Breathed a sigh of relief that I wouldn't have to worry about teen pregnancy. Wondered how to set the house rules--if she was straight I wouldn't have let her boyfriends stay over, but I was unsure how to handle having her gf sleep over all the time. Took her and her sis over to the gay pride parade. Well, I guess I did what moms do, if they're not so fundamentalist that they disown their children over something like this. I mean, life goes on and will, long past the time I'm gone.
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Old 01-10-2011, 10:55 PM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,606 posts, read 55,914,193 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by miyu View Post
Some people value the mental connection and emotional support regardless of sexual orientation. And it's easy for women to be physically attracted to other women because the female body is just more aesthetically and universally appealing. There is no social stigma either, as with men. Guys are obviously attracted to their own bodies, seeing how they enjoy flexing in front of the mirror after working out. But their internal homophobia and the logistics/mechanics of male-male sex (as compared to less invasive FF sex) will not allow them to look at another man in the same way. I think women like the looks of their own body and sometimes can translate that to other women's bodies. If I met a woman that I got along with really well I would see it as no different than being with a man. But to be honest, most women who are bi/lesbian and I do not have much in common so I've never been tempted. I would not say that I'm bisexual... more like I don't care either way. I am gender neutral and I see people for who they are. I've been gender neutral even in grade school. In later years I've questioned whether I might be asexual, bisexual, or lesbian but I just think in the end I am not even truly heterosexual (or anything else).
I don't know about 'universally appealing' but finding something beautiful is different from being sexually aroused by it. The fact some women say things like that makes me think they're either turned on by both genders to a degree or they equate attractiveness with being attracted to someone or some thing.

I think guys definitely do admire male bodies alot more than they'd like to admit. For some weird reason it's weird for another guy to comment on how attractive or 'hot' another guy is without being afraid of seeming gay.
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Old 01-10-2011, 11:53 PM
 
Location: state of procrastination
3,485 posts, read 7,295,273 times
Reputation: 2913
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
I don't know about 'universally appealing' but finding something beautiful is different from being sexually aroused by it. The fact some women say things like that makes me think they're either turned on by both genders to a degree or they equate attractiveness with being attracted to someone or some thing.

I think guys definitely do admire male bodies alot more than they'd like to admit. For some weird reason it's weird for another guy to comment on how attractive or 'hot' another guy is without being afraid of seeming gay.
I'm thinking like female Greek statues. Not necessarily sexual, not necessarily a turn on, but definitely not repulsive.
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