Young people what are you so afraid of? (wife, boyfriend, loving)

[lovesMountains]

Originally Posted by Magritte25

The friend I was talking about earlier makes about $85K a year. He still lives at home. He doesn't need to but it's how it's done in their family. He is the baby (a change of life one at that) who has 2 older brothers and 2 older sisters, who are all in their 40s. They all did this as well (stayed home til they married).

It is definitely worth noting that other cultures and countries do have different attitudes than America on this subject.

I know that in South Africa girls are expected to live at home until they marry - even coming back after college to do so. And in Italy men live with their mothers until they marry and mama dotes on them - does all laundry, cooking of favorite meals, etc.

[onihC]

Originally Posted by skeet09

He had the most reasonable apartment he could and still could not make it without a roommate.
It could be cultural. In some cultures, it is totally the norm to live with your parents until you marry no matter the income.

Not sure if its a bit extreme but is it true that parents in the USA or most western countries even go to the extent of kicking their children out at age 18 or pushing/pressuring them to leave?

[Magritte25]

I LOL at the patent label of "entitled" applied to any generation. It's really silly. People have been complaining about the younger generation since the beginning of time.

"What is happening to our young people? They disrespect their elders, they disobey their parents. They ignore the law. They riot in the streets inflamed with wild notions. Their morals are decaying. What is to become of them?"
Plato, 4th Century BC

The young people of today think of nothing but themselves. They have no reverence for parents or old age. They are impatient of all restraint... As for the girls, they are forward, immodest and unladylike in speech, behavior and dress."
Peter the Hermit, AD 1274

"When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly disrespectful and impatient of restraint".
Hesiod, 8th century BC

[Magritte25]

Originally Posted by lovesMountains

It is definitely worth noting that other cultures and countries do have different attitudes than America on this subject.

I know that in South Africa girls are expected to live at home until they marry - even coming back after college to do so. And in Italy men live with their mothers until they marry and mama dotes on them - does all laundry, cooking of favorite meals, etc.

Right, but even in America, until the IR, Americans were very like the Europeans in that several generations lived together.

[Yzette]

Originally Posted by skeet09

He had the most reasonable apartment he could and still could not make it without a roommate.
It could be cultural. In some cultures, it is totally the norm to live with your parents until you marry no matter the income.

Cultural is one thing, but the issue here is American kids.

And your husband proves my point. He needed a roommate--like hundreds of thousands of other young people have had and somehow survived. My roommate and I had it all worked out, including knowing which happy hours had free food on which nights. It was great! I wouldn't trade those memories of being young and just starting out for anything in the world, mismatched furniture and all.

[lovesMountains]

Originally Posted by onihC

Not sure if its a bit extreme but is it true that parents in the USA or most western countries even go to the extent of kicking their children out at age 18 or pushing/pressuring them to leave?

Some do unfortunately. And these days, unless a kid joins the military, that's a bit too young in my opinion.

I think wiser parents put plans in place to make sure their kids can finish their college educations before completely cutting the apron strings

[Yzette]

Originally Posted by onihC

Not sure if its a bit extreme but is it true that parents in the USA or most western countries even go to the extent of kicking their children out at age 18 or pushing/pressuring them to leave?

Some do, some don't. It depends on the family. Mine pushed us by pushing us to college.

But the OP is talking about a 28-year-old making $100K and a 25-year-old nurse with no student loans. These are educated people with nice salaries. They just don't want to fledge the nest, and that's ridiculous.

[city_data91]

To all the older posters complaining about young people: Remember that you (YOU) raised us. You brought us into this world. We were raised in a world that you made.

To quote Blink 182: if we're f**ked up you're to blame

[Ivorytickler]

Originally Posted by chacho_keva

Over the past 5 years, I've come across people between the ages of 20 to 28 who still live with their parents. The most recent example being a young engineer recently hired at my place of work. He's 28 years old, making over $100K/year and still living with his parents. He may have student loans, but with his salary it's highly probable that he has the resources to be on his own and out of the nest.

In addition, I have discussed the issue of "self-reliance" with my own 20-something year olds and the child of a friend, who finds herself in a similar predicament. When I discussed leaving the nest with my 25 year old, she looked horrified by the thought of being on her own and burning the bridges which lead back to the nest. My friend's child has zero (0) intention of moving out anytime soon despite being a recently hired RN, with no student loans.

I'm a product of the 70's and have been on my own since the age of 19. I could not wait to leave the nest and be on my own. Due to my experience, and that of many of my peers, it's difficult to comprehend why so many young people today appear scared of being on their own.

So I ask to those of you within that age group. . .why are you so afraid of being self-reliant, independent, having the freedom to take risks, deal with failures, make tough decisions, without expecting to be bailed out or handheld by your parents?

None of the above. They're smart.

I used to work for a family whose culture dictated that kids did not move out of their parents houses until they were able to pay cash for their own and it had to be large enough so that their kids could then live with them. They carried no debt and I'm willing to bet they have weathered this recession better than those of us who are on our own.

There is NOTHING wrong with extended family. Personally, I think we lost something in the rush to move out of mom and dad's house.

My brother lived with dad until he was in his 30's. Both of them benefitted from the arrangement both financially and socially.

[Magritte25]

Originally Posted by Ivorytickler

None of the above. They're smart.

I used to work for a family whose culture dictated that kids did not move out of their parents houses until they were able to pay cash for their own and it had to be large enough so that their kids could then live with them. They carried no debt and I'm willing to bet they have weathered this recession better than those of us who are on our own.

There is NOTHING wrong with extended family. Personally, I think we lost something in the rush to move out of mom and dad's house.

Yay! We agree again!