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Old 01-13-2011, 07:06 PM
 
3,511 posts, read 2,499,658 times
Reputation: 1505

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Quote:
Originally Posted by mir86 View Post
Agreed! I meet people from other countries all the time and my parents are foreigners as well. All these foreigners tell me that in their country, people just stay at home until they're married, no matter how able they are to move out. The timeline thing is way too stressful to live up to. American culture puts way too much emphasis on when you must achieve something...its to put it bluntly, f*cked up. Everyone has their own pace of when they accomplish something and to be looked down on when you don't get there on time, is condescending and mean. If someone wants to live a horrible quality of life because they chose to move out before they're ready, that's fine and its your choice, but life is way too short to spend your best years not being able to enjoy it, especially if you're contributing to society in some way. The outright lazy people who don't do things at all with their lives who really are leeching off their parents, are the ones this thread should be addressing, in my opinion.
The kid who is out there slaving his arse off at a sweatshop, barely making enough money to get by shouldn't be lumped with some deadbeat that doesn't work and never has, even when times were good. The economy SUCKS-SUCKS-SUCKS right now and has for at least the last 5 years minimum. You get what you can get. Anyone who shames these kids, either has the wrong private parts, had a bad relationship with their parents and feels jealous as hell, or is living on cloud 9 and has no clue how bad things are fked up right now. Especially you young men. After all, you can't just p*ssywhip some tycoon to foot your bill because you make a good romp in the sack. It bothers me how many married women rip at these kids. How many of them work and make their own way if hubby wasn't around? Even so, take his earning out of the mix for a year or two. That is if you aren't nailing his balls to the wall on alimony and or child support.
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Old 01-13-2011, 07:15 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,144 posts, read 57,085,003 times
Reputation: 38398
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
Coming from a different culture, I don't find this trend that appalling, particularly now. If you have a good relationship with your parents and they don't mind, it's not such a bad idea to pay off student loans and/or just save some money, which would give you a better start at adulthood.
IF it really works out that way. Some of these people are only DELAYING adulthood though.

Look, it's great when parents and their young adult kids get along and like one another enough want to spend time together. But any parent letting a kid live at home after they've already finished college is not doing that kid any favors if they don't make them contribute to the cost of running the home (rent/mortgage, groceries, electricities, taxes, ect).
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Old 01-13-2011, 07:15 PM
 
Location: Texas
28,122 posts, read 24,152,739 times
Reputation: 33759
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
He may be smart, but his parents are dumb as rocks

(we are talking about the 28 year old making over $100,000 a year, right?)
I stayed/housesat in one of my parents' houses and I made over $300k a year. I paid all their bills, fixed and updated what needed to be updated and fixed, had a new fence built, new furnace installed, new pool pump, etc, etc, and saved $350k for a down payment on my own house.

EVERYBODY won in that situation.

So who is dumb exactly?
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Old 01-13-2011, 07:17 PM
 
3,511 posts, read 2,499,658 times
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And yeah kids, Axle sees folks drive up to the pump and only be able to put $3 or $5 in because that is ALL they can afford. They also have to count their lucky stars that hoopy doesn't take a s*** because they can't afford to fix it. Their unemployment is exhausted and who knows what they are living on? It's awful!
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Old 01-13-2011, 07:20 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,144 posts, read 57,085,003 times
Reputation: 38398
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
I stayed/housesat in one of my parents' houses and I made over $300k a year. I paid all their bills, fixed and updated what needed to be updated and fixed, had a new fence built, new furnace installed, new pool pump, etc, etc, and saved $350k for a down payment on my own house.

EVERYBODY won in that situation.

So who is dumb exactly?
Sadly, this thread is getting so long some of you posting aren't remembering what it is about.

The "dumb" parents would be the ones who let a 28 year old college educated son making $100,000 a year live at home for free.

In your case you more than paid your way at your parents home - good grief, you paid all their bills, so my comment would not have any bearing on your situation.
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Old 01-13-2011, 07:21 PM
 
Location: state of procrastination
3,458 posts, read 3,713,574 times
Reputation: 2722
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
But to have encouraged or allowed them to stay at home past college, no matter how much I would have enjoyed it, would have been nothing short of irresponsible on our part in my opinion.

Having that part of our lives together come to an end was bittersweet, but NECESSARY. And I certainly didn't have to "kick" anyone out - they left because they were ready to go.

Since they started walking as toddlers we had been preparing them to fly the nest one day, because that was our job, to get them ready to go. Parents who refuse to instill the self confidence, self reliance and independence every young person needs to succeed in life have failed as parents. And our whole society suffers the consequences.

(There are of course exceptions to every rule, and every situation is different, I do understand that. Again, in this thread we are discussing 20 somethings with great educations who make very good salaries, not all 20 something year olds )
I think the point here is that many young people, even successful ones, are living at home nowdays because it makes financial sense and practical sense. They probably lived outside for some time and have the ability to do so but choose not to. It has nothing to do with fear or maturity in their late 20s. Obviously they've already lived away from home for college and maybe a few years afterwards.

I personally wouldn't move back home because my parents are like little kids and I don't feel like babysitting. I enjoy sitting in my hovel and doing my own thing.

Those late 20s kids already know how to fly. It's not the issue at hand. Rents and mortgages are much more insane nowadays than 10 years ago. Had I lived in the past I could probably buy a home with cash. Nowadays it is either exuberant rent or buy a crappy home for half a million bucks... no thanks...

My sister is now living at my parent's home, which they aren't living in right now, but nonetheless she has saved herself at least 30k on rent this year. Why not? If you think 30k is disposable income for people nowadays you must be mistaken. And my sister earns 6 figures, has lived away from home for many years. The other two people I know who live at home also earn good money and work very hard -- one is definitely over 6 figures. They are not stupid and they refuse to pay 2k rent for a 1BR/1BA apartment.
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Old 01-13-2011, 07:25 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,843 posts, read 54,899,282 times
Reputation: 22812
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
IF it really works out that way. Some of these people are only DELAYING adulthood though.

Look, it's great when parents and their young adult kids get along and like one another enough want to spend time together. But any parent letting a kid live at home after they've already finished college is not doing that kid any favors if they don't make them contribute to the cost of running the home (rent/mortgage, groceries, electricities, taxes, ect).
Well, I'm not talking about the worthless pieces of crap who don't look for work and play games all day...
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Old 01-13-2011, 07:28 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,144 posts, read 57,085,003 times
Reputation: 38398
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
Well, I'm not talking about the worthless pieces of crap who don't look for work and play games all day...

I didn't think you were

I see nothing wrong with family members helping each other out - as long as all members are actually helping/contributing.

And there is a big difference between an adult child who's been out in the real world taking care of themselves who has to come home for a while for some reason and a kid who never left

Last edited by lovesMountains; 01-13-2011 at 07:39 PM.. Reason: spelling!
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Old 01-13-2011, 07:29 PM
 
Location: Kerkrade, Limburg, Netherlands
261 posts, read 266,269 times
Reputation: 149
I'm 20, living on my own for two years. Perfect life for me. ;]
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Old 01-13-2011, 07:29 PM
 
3,511 posts, read 2,499,658 times
Reputation: 1505
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
Well, I'm not talking about the worthless pieces of crap who don't look for work and play games all day...
Me either, they get what they get and should get the boot!
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