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Unread 01-13-2011, 06:50 PM
 
7,717 posts, read 4,636,775 times
Reputation: 15627
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
Not true. As I said before, prior to Industrial Revolution it was *very* common for young adults to live at home until they were married.
That was dependent on a few factors, but mainly the fact that the farm required young people to work it. In the cities however, young people did leave home and in fact young people left their villages seeking a 'better life' in the city, especially in Europe. Obviously it was men leaving home rather than women, but much of that was the lack of choices for women.
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Unread 01-13-2011, 06:51 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
42,263 posts, read 49,104,979 times
Reputation: 33557
Quote:
Originally Posted by nimchimpsky View Post
Thanks for such thoughtful replies. I understand a lot better what people are saying now. I guess my only thing now is to caution everyone against making sweeping statements about entire groups. That goes for folks of all ages of course. Age is something where people tend to feel the most comfortable making accusations they would never make in regards to any other identifier such as race or gender.

I guess in a way I am lucky that I never grew up with video games or movies. My parents forbade both of them except for occasionally watching a movie together as a family or following a TV show, but even then it was one or two hours a week on Sunday night. I was never much into TV or video games and now I can't do either anyway. I'm more one for reading, cooking, and going for walks. In a lot of ways I feel like I connect more with the generation that likes to complain about mine, so I guess that's why I take it so personally when people do make those statements, even if it's only in regards to a subset of my generation.

Ironically enough, I'm not even born of my parents. They chose to adopt me. I do realize they have their own problems. I wish they would realize they are only adding to the problems by refusing to be supportive. I would be much closer who they wanted to be to me if they didn't cut me off both financially and emotionally.

I don't think parents are obligated to care for their children past age 18 but I do think wise parents realize it's worth it. Young adults that are dropped like hot potatoes are most likely not going to react in the best of ways. A lot of people still need support in their 20's and are much more likely to be successful on all levels if their parents allow the change from dependent to independent to be made more gradually.

Wise words from someone so young, and I heartily agree with you
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Unread 01-13-2011, 06:51 PM
 
4,445 posts, read 3,534,218 times
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I also wasn't raised on video games. My brothers and I used to watch movies sometimes and rarely we had days where we had movie watching marathons. We preferred playing outside all day. During the summer, we were at the pool all day, every day, as long as we could get someone old enough to watch us. Other times, my parents sent us to summer camp and I was also a girl scout in elementary school. when I got older I was heavily involved with dancing/cheerleading and youth group. I hate sitting around and I always did SOMETHING in any way I could. I still do. Right now I have more time right now because I'm on winter break and I"m not working as much as I was, but school starts in a few days and I'll be back to juggling all that with dancing and working more. Thankfully I take after my mother in the involvement issue, she also can't sit around doing nothing and she's 60.
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Unread 01-13-2011, 06:52 PM
Status: "Happy Spring!" (set 27 days ago)
 
14,161 posts, read 7,336,887 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
No one here, certainly not me, is complaining about an entire generation!

We are discussing a segment of the 20 something generation, that's all
Which is what people have always done. This generation is no worse than the hundreds (thousands?) that have come before.
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Unread 01-13-2011, 06:53 PM
Status: "Happy Spring!" (set 27 days ago)
 
14,161 posts, read 7,336,887 times
Reputation: 6582
Quote:
Originally Posted by Djuna View Post
That was dependent on a few factors, but mainly the fact that the farm required young people to work it. In the cities however, young people did leave home and in fact young people left their villages seeking a 'better life' in the city, especially in Europe. Obviously it was men leaving home rather than women, but much of that was the lack of choices for women.
Not from what I know of pre-Industrial Revolution history.
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Unread 01-13-2011, 06:56 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,026 posts, read 12,625,984 times
Reputation: 11309
Heck, I'm 200K material and I'll live with my parents in a heartbeat. Except that it cannot happen. One, my father is dead, two my mom lives overseas.

Chacho, forget the kiddos, let's concentrate on your own issues You're just bummed that engineer boy mints money.
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Unread 01-13-2011, 06:59 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
42,263 posts, read 49,104,979 times
Reputation: 33557
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
Which is what people have always done. This generation is no worse than the hundreds (thousands?) that have come before.
I never said this generation was worse than any other. I said, in regards to the segment of 20 somethings I am referring to things are worse than any other generation.

Never before in any other prior generation has there been such a large group in that generation that was so coddled and poorly parented that they consequently refused to grow up like this one group.

Sure, there have always existed the occasional "n'er do well" in every generation. But this group of 8 hours a day of computer playing/gaming young people who continue to live off of mom and dad while being content to maybe hold down a minimum wage job, if that, is alarmingly large.
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Unread 01-13-2011, 07:01 PM
 
7,717 posts, read 4,636,775 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
No one here, certainly not me, is complaining about an entire generation!

We are discussing a segment of the 20 something generation, that's all
Exactly. We are not talking about young teenagers here, we are talking about young ADULTS who choose to stay at home. It is not their house, it is their parents house and they abide by their parent's rules.

I guess because I left home and wanted to do my own thing I simply cannot understand the mentality of choosing to stay at home, it's a foreign concept to me. Independence was very important to me, I wanted to live my life without my parents interfering or knowing what I was doing.

As part of Erikson's Stages of Development he talks about those in young adulthood developing intimacy with another. It's hard to develop an adult relationship with someone who lives at home. We often discuss the 'living in their parent's basement' type. Starting and maintaining a relationship requires some kind of privacy and space. How awkward to be making breakfast with your new boyfriend or girlfriend in your Mum's kitchen.
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Unread 01-13-2011, 07:02 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,026 posts, read 12,625,984 times
Reputation: 11309
Quote:
Originally Posted by Antlered Chamataka View Post
Heck, I'm 200K material and I'll live with my parents in a heartbeat. Except that it cannot happen. One, my father is dead, two my mom lives overseas.

Chacho, forget the kiddos, let's concentrate on your own issues You're just bummed that engineer boy mints money.
And the third unwritten rule, Miss Antlers will give one angry look and I'll turn into ash
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Unread 01-13-2011, 07:06 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,026 posts, read 12,625,984 times
Reputation: 11309
Casual observer question, why are you oldies dictating young people's decisions? Your stupid housing mortgage obsession crashed the world in the first place, and I bet we all agree that posterity takes the burden of yesteryear's deficits. Spare me and do us all a favor, finish what you started and the young ones will be on their way. So much for responsibility
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