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That's one of the few reasons I'd wanna be rich, Axle. I'd like to be able to afford to have my mom move in with my family when she's too old to go it on her own. Seems more common in Asian cultures which is one of the things I admire about it. I figure she sacrificed a lot for me, it'd be nice to return the favor when needed.
Dude, you are a good son and you'll go far. You summarized my mommy thoughts in three lines.
Except that I am entering my 30s and my dream is to buy her a nice mansion in the French countryside and place her close to her brother, my uncle, with whom she is close. Not sure how long it's gonna take us achieve it.
I had to live at home from ages 22 - 23 after university.
I had no problem being independent living on my own for three years from 19-22 years old getting my degree; it was because, after that, the industry I was going into took a heavy hit and I simply could not afford to pay rent for any accommodation on my poor initial salary, and also I could get to the workplace from home easily.
I had an agreement with my mum (not dad he lived miles away and still does) that was mutual and respectful. It was also a fairly big house so we didn't get in each others way at all and I felt no less independent than when I had been living alone.
So I never had any problem with risk taking/indepedence, it was simply a matter of "why make life more complicated than it needs to be, when your priority is to find a suitable job and place to live when you can afford it"?
I think here in Europe we have much more of a family/community support element which the USA seems to lack. Very much "each man for himself" over there, and while obviously people become independent adults past 18, the idea that parental support of any kind should just be totally cut off there no matter whatever, is a bit selfish to me.
As I said when I had to "come back" for a couple years, it was just a bit of support I needed at the time, just somewhere to live when I had very little money, but I had a career plan in action. Because it was mutually agreed I wasn't being selfish and wasn't taking advantage nor was I incapable of independence because I had proven I could live away from home before. So I didn't really give a crap what anybody else thinks, because it's none of their business!
Looking at this board there are a lot of very judgemental people criticising those whose situations they don't even know well enough, yet ironically these people are in reality probably not the slightest bit interested in the life / success / interests of the people they are judging. They just are proud of their own perceived "achievements" and their egos and feel the need to generalise about certain people in a way that makes them feel even better about themselves.
Last edited by Weatherfan2; 01-14-2011 at 07:02 AM..
Everyone I know who's young and living at home is doing so because of the inavailability of jobs in their areas where they can earn an income that sustains living on one's own. I don't know anybody living with parents who can afford not to.
Times have changed...The economy is not up to par. It can be rough for young people to get a decent job after college...But these can also be rough times for parents too...Job security is a thing of the past...The cost of living keeps going up and it affects young and old people alike...Parents need a chance to have a breather and regain the closeness they had before they decided to raise a family...I wouldn't like it if my kids felt a sense of entitlement about moving back home anytime they felt like it or sticking around after they got out of college for years and years without considering the impact and effects on me and my life....There is a lot to look at and consider.
My students are between 22-27, with a few exceptions. ALL of them live with their parents. I find it contemptible unless they're paying room and board. Few do.
I was born in 1963 and I guarantee you, no 27 year old lived at home back in the day. Didn't happen unless they were handicapped in some way.
Please. There is no way in hell that you knew what every.single.twentysomething was doing in 1980.
My students are affluent doctoral students. There is no excuse they are living at home without paying room and board. Most were bought brand new Benz's or BMW's on their 16th birthday and are merely delaying adulthood by writing their dissertations. The job market for doctorates in history is nil and they know it. Most have never held a job. Everyone of my generation had part time jobs at McDonalds when they were 16.
"Maybe they won't get into their dream grad school as a result."
They are in grad school already, a prestigious one at that.
Delaying adulthood is their mantra. Sorry, I don't have sympathy.
Oh you mean the students who are paying your salary?
Pfft! What a bunch of horse pucky! This may have been so hundreds of years ago. But lady. . .this is the 21st freekin' century. The fact that it's a so called "recent phenomena" does not take merit away from the fact that able children should get going on their own without mommy's or daddy's hand holding.
Again, I mostly blame our generation for producing boomerang, and/or overly dependent children whom, while being able to provide for themselves, choose to live under mommy and daddy's roof because "it's convenient." But, my goodness, isn't it rather obvious when it's time to flap your wings and get yourself going? No parent wants to be placed in a position of having to tell their kid. . ."get out!"
It's not "horse pucky". It's absolutely true and many cultures still do it today.
It's funny you say that. When they become elderly, they wish they would "get in"! Yeah, you know the types......... the ones who move half way across the Country many States away and EXPECT me to take my neighbor (your mom or dad) to the grocery store, mow their lawn or whatever else they can't be bothered with.
Yep. I will say that I extend my belief that families should help each to my parents as well. When, and if, they are unable to live alone, my house will be open to them just like it is for my kids.
I know a lot of people have talked about the kids with a job who stay at home to save money and buy a house down the rode. Being 27 and living in the DC area I know that to be BS. The ones who go out to live on their own are doing much better, because they really understand the value of a dollar. I know a few people that I went to college with who make just as much as me. They live at home with no debt, but not really saving anything. They drive $60k BMWs and drop $300 a night at the club, just makes for a really awkward convo to the girl you meet that night that you have to be quiet because you live at home. I have lived with roommates since college in the city and I am miles ahead of kids my age who stayed at home after school. The parents who think their kids are saving money don't know the whole truth.
I know a lot of people have talked about the kids with a job who stay at home to save money and buy a house down the rode. Being 27 and living in the DC area I know that to be BS. The ones who go out to live on their own are doing much better, because they really understand the value of a dollar. I know a few people that I went to college with who make just as much as me. They live at home with no debt, but not really saving anything. They drive $60k BMWs and drop $300 a night at the club, just makes for a really awkward convo to the girl you meet that night that you have to be quiet because you live at home. I have lived with roommates since college in the city and I am miles ahead of kids my age who stayed at home after school. The parents who think their kids are saving money don't know the whole truth.
Your experience speaks for just that: you. You can't possibly believe you know the best thing for all families and adult children.
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There is no way in hell that you knew what every.single.twentysomething was doing in 1980. 
