divorce (married, women, love, family)

[jkitty]

i am a 27 year old women who has recently gotten involved with a man that has two kids....we have been together for 2 years....recently i have gotten involved in the criminal justice program...which now he has stated he may not want children due to my choise of being a cop....i feel very bitter that now i may be faced with raising two children and never have my own....is it wrong for me to feel this way? I always hug the kids, shower them with gifts and show them all the affection in the world. IN THE BEGINNING HE SAID HE WANTED KIDS BUT NOW IT IS UNSURE......I FEEL I AM BECOMING ANGRY...AND THAT THIS IS UNFAIR...PLEASE HELP.

[purehuman]

You have every reason to feel angry....If he's already got 2 children, what's your being a cop got to do with not having more??I don't think he's being honest with you, and he's now using your career as his excuse for never having wanted more children with you to begin with....sorry!

[imsh0t]

i agree that it sounds like bs. I think he would have said that regardless of your career choice. I think hes just selfish.

[Bluesmama]

Does he hate cops? Or feel that your family unit would be compromised if you became a cop? It would be a different "home-style" from having an 8 to 5 job, but I work for a city government that employs several female cops, and most of them have families. They work it out somehow.

Sounds like you loved his kids. Sad that he's depriving them.

[temptation001]

This is a serious issue. Letting him go would be justified.

[andreaspercheron]

I agree that he's being selfish. He obviously has an issue with police officers. BUT to play devils advocate, maybe he feels that he doesn't want to have kids with you in case God forbid down the line you have an accident and lose your life in the line of duty. At that point, would it be fair to him to raise him own kids by himself? Maybe that's what he's thinking... I doubt it but I had to throw it out there.

[h886]

All feelings are justified. The question is whether or not you two are now incompatible. Although I can understand your perspective of how he "changed the deal" on what you had agreed earlier, I think it's more complicated than that. He may have legitimate concerns about something happening to you while on the job, or have wanted the two of you two maintain more traditional schedules rather than working nights, working in dangerous places, etc. He may have been fine with having kids with you before, but changed his mind once you decided to pursue being a cop.

What you do for a living should be your choice--it's your life! I'm not saying he's right or wrong. But it may make the two of you incompatible now. I think you have every right to tell him that despite how you care for him, having biological children is important to you. If he does not want to do that with you, it means you need to end the relationship and find someone else who does.

[pkrplr1]

Originally Posted by jkitty

i am a 27 year old women who has recently gotten involved with a man that has two kids....we have been together for 2 years....recently i have gotten involved in the criminal justice program...which now he has stated he may not want children due to my choise of being a cop....i feel very bitter that now i may be faced with raising two children and never have my own....is it wrong for me to feel this way? I always hug the kids, shower them with gifts and show them all the affection in the world. IN THE BEGINNING HE SAID HE WANTED KIDS BUT NOW IT IS UNSURE......I FEEL I AM BECOMING ANGRY...AND THAT THIS IS UNFAIR...PLEASE HELP.

let me continue being the forum dbag. i thought this thread was about divorce?

[STT Resident]

Doesn't sound as though the couple is even married so not sure where the "divorce" title comes from either.

[the old man]

i am confused... but that is nothing new