Quote:
Originally Posted by ElysianEagle
mush good advice lies in this post. i've made the mistake too of thinking that having lots of female friends will be great because they'll introduce me to their "hot" friends and all will be well. now i realize that it's just a fantasy and a total waste of time. not saying that men and women can't be friends - they can, it's just that no great purpose is served and you'll probably have a better time with your guy friends anyway.
|
This is something that is quite true. If you are put into the "friend zone," there's a good chance that the woman in question has done this in part because she
does want many of the emotional benefits you have to offer: you're trustworthy, reliable, sweet, gentle, non-judgemental, etc. There's a good chance that she's using these traits of yours to help her get her fix while she actually dates guys who she thinks are
OMG hawt!!! but whom have none of the above traits - if the guy in the friend zone is a "nice guy," the boyfriend is a "jerk" if you want to continue the theme that seems to keep popping up 'round these parts lately...
At the end of the day, you end up being an emotional boyfriend of sorts - after hard, hot sex with her boyfriend, he gets up and jets because he "needs to be up early tomorrow" or left his cat in the oven or something, and an argument ensues because she needs cuddle time. He's obstinate and is more or less like, "whatever honey, see you tomorrow. Oh, could you pick up some more condoms?"
So, what does she do? She calls up her
bestest guy friend ever. She says she just got into it with her fella and
really just needs to get out and talk about it. The friend-zoned fellow says,
SWEET. This is perfect. He's just been a total jerkwad to her, and so when I take her out and am such a wonderful gentleman by comparison, she will surely decide that it's time to jump ship over to the light.
So, you pick her up - he never does that. He always makes her come to him, unless he knows he's getting laid.
You give her flowers, or maybe her favorite chocolate (which you know about because you
listen to her, unlike him!) or a little plushie that lets her know you lov-er, care about her. He'd never even thought of doing this.
You ask her where she wants to go. He never does this, he just tells her where he wants to go.
You offer to foot the bill because it's been a rough night - he never does this.
You listen to everything she says and you offer heartfelt advice, which - you guessed it! - he never does.
And then you drop her off at home and she says, "thank you so much, you're such a sweetheart!"
And you smile for a minute before you realize she's not inviting you in. You've helped her, you've given her the strength - the strength to stay with her boyfriend.
You see, the two of you each have qualities of her ideal mate. He's got the looks and/or the "coolness" or that special "something" that gets her slippery. You've got the sweetness and dependability that warms her heart. Together, you form something that is, in her mind, much greater than the both of you.
Learn how to find a balance between the two and become the guy that she's looking for. That's the best possible thing you can do.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
