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Unread 01-25-2011, 01:04 PM
 
Location: Living on the Coast in Oxnard CA
9,541 posts, read 11,574,250 times
Reputation: 10913
Default Do you keep the cheating SO, cheating bestfriend, or ditch one or both?

After reading another post it became evident to me that this would be a good question to post and find out what others think or have done. Here is the scenario but others scenarios may apply.

Example 1: A guy smooth talks his way into a girls life and ends up sleeping with her several times. She is in love with him because she has no reason not to believe he doesn't love her. He then smooths talks his way into her best friends bed and sleeps with her. I would assume that this is a smart girl that just learned a lesson about the guy and drops him. Does she drop the best friend as well?

Example 2: A guy has been dating a girl for close to a year or more. he treats her well and everything appears to look as they are in a very good relationship. Over time he hits it off with his girl friends best friend and they end up sleeping with each other.

A: Do you keep the boy friend and drop the best friend?

B: Do you keep the best friend and drop the boy friend?

C: Do you keep them both close and forgive them?

D: Do you drop them both and move on?

Example 3: Similar to the above with the exception that you are now married to the former boyfriend and have been for some time. You also have a couple kids. The indiscetion happens after you have been married for some time

A: Do you forgive them and keep your marriage going hoping that it will get stronger?

B: Do you keep the marriage untill the kids are grown and then tell him he can kiss your tail end good by?

C: Do you keep the best friend and lose the husband

D: Do you drop them both and move on?

Feel free to leave other solutions. Also this can be reversed if a similar situation would apply such as a girl friend or wife and a best friend of the guys.
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Unread 01-25-2011, 01:07 PM
 
3,062 posts, read 3,583,719 times
Reputation: 3144
Quote:
Originally Posted by SOON2BNSURPRISE View Post
After reading another post it became evident to me that this would be a good question to post and find out what others think or have done. Here is the scenario but others scenarios may apply.

Example 1: A guy smooth talks his way into a girls life and ends up sleeping with her several times. She is in love with him because she has no reason not to believe he doesn't love her. He then smooths talks his way into her best friends bed and sleeps with her. I would assume that this is a smart girl that just learned a lesson about the guy and drops him. Does she drop the best friend as well?

Example 2: A guy has been dating a girl for close to a year or more. he treats her well and everything appears to look as they are in a very good relationship. Over time he hits it off with his girl friends best friend and they end up sleeping with each other.

A: Do you keep the boy friend and drop the best friend?

B: Do you keep the best friend and drop the boy friend?

C: Do you keep them both close and forgive them?

D: Do you drop them both and move on?

Example 3: Similar to the above with the exception that you are now married to the former boyfriend and have been for some time. You also have a couple kids. The indiscetion happens after you have been married for some time

A: Do you forgive them and keep your marriage going hoping that it will get stronger?

B: Do you keep the marriage untill the kids are grown and then tell him he can kiss your tail end good by?

C: Do you keep the best friend and lose the husband

D: Do you drop them both and move on?

Feel free to leave other solutions. Also this can be reversed if a similar situation would apply such as a girl friend or wife and a best friend of the guys.
Good riddance to bad rubbish.
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Unread 01-25-2011, 01:08 PM
 
Location: Sherwood
4,820 posts, read 6,149,254 times
Reputation: 4173
Example 19, a squid kisses it's best friend and the moon turns purple... LOL sorry you listed a lot of scenarios. If I liked both of them, I think I'd remain friendly with both of them, but not be romantically involved with the guy.
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Unread 01-25-2011, 01:09 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,853 posts, read 49,226,680 times
Reputation: 22661
Both go in both cases.
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Unread 01-25-2011, 01:22 PM
 
27,828 posts, read 15,566,912 times
Reputation: 13377
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
Both go in both cases.
^^^What she said.
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Unread 01-25-2011, 01:30 PM
 
Location: Riachella, Victoria, Australia
242 posts, read 220,245 times
Reputation: 270
Get George Costanza to work out how it's done. Menage a trois.
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Unread 01-25-2011, 01:46 PM
 
27,828 posts, read 15,566,912 times
Reputation: 13377
If your friend doesn't know you know they cheated on you....tell them in confidence that you just got tested HIV+ and are just devastated.

LMAO.
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Unread 01-25-2011, 01:53 PM
 
1,206 posts, read 1,171,380 times
Reputation: 1100
Drop all cheating people period. Once a cheater always a cheater. ALso go get some therapy bc I think she coulda seen this coming a mile away. The fact that she still has doubts about dropping them indicates to me that shes a moron.
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Unread 01-25-2011, 02:01 PM
 
Location: Hawaii
2,058 posts, read 1,580,956 times
Reputation: 1540
Whatever the circumstances, ditch them both.

Ok now that's I've read it all I still think the same.
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Unread 01-25-2011, 04:43 PM
 
2,596 posts, read 2,276,267 times
Reputation: 3863
I wouldn't treat the BF or best friend any differently. Both chose to cheat. Clearly their regard for their friend/girlfriend isn't very high. Best to leave them to each other and move forward with your life.

I think the answer changes somewhat once marriage and kids have been involved... at that point I think you have more to lose and you have to ask yourself if the good things about your spouse outweigh the bad, if the potential for loss if you divorce is more than the cost of trying to save the marriage when possible. Some people make a stupid mistake and can correct that and later be a better partner. Others are serial cheaters. Depends on the situation.
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