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Yeah, the middle of the night is the worst. It's the lull that gives those thoughts berth. Somebody said, when despair is at your door don't feed it, maybe it'll go away. But that's a different side of the brain. Sometimes daybreak feels like a rescue.
After your socials are over and your friends go home to their husbands and wives or their children or baby's daddies or whoever, you're the one at home with no one to talk to. At my age, being single makes me feel very lonely, especially when all my friends are with their significant others. Even hobbies don't seem as fun anymore because I start thinking about what it would be like to share the memory with someone else who's going to be around.
That's all. No, I am not ashamed to admit when I feel sad. Anyone else feel this way?
Good comment. It's because you aren't compatible with the other person. I've been in that situation before where the partner or so-called "friend" isn't empathic or interested in my life. Oh well.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceece
You can feel lonely even if you have someone. That's even worse.
I find Louise Hay to be extremely helpful. Try her audiobooks at night.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bondurant
Indeed.
I assume this is a very natural feeling when you are alone. I also tend to be at my angriest and most frustrated at night. Upon the brink of slumber my head is often filled with things that upset me and make actually falling asleep difficult.
I have mixed feelings on the topic. When I was single before, many years ago. I really enjoyed my alone time. I have always been a very independent type and love quiet times when no one is around. Now that I'm single again, I still enjoy my quiet time but not as much. I have a friend I have been spending a little time with and it's so fun that it makes the alone times seem REALLY alone LOL
But, I do still need that time to myself. I think everyone does but I know some friends of mine absolutely cannot stand to be alone. They have a really hard time with it. I say, pick up a new hobby, find new things to do to help you enjoy your time. If you read, get a new book. If you like music, listen to something new.
Just try to keep it fresh and just embrace the time you have alone. One day when you find someone and you're in a relationship, you are going to miss alone time LOL
Nights and early mornings can be hard for me at times because I'm a recent widow...I was married for 24 years and I have to get used to being alone again...Sometimes I do ok and amuse myself and enjoy having time to myself. But I miss my husband and feel lonely at other times...It's going to take awhile to adjust to being single again.
Nights and early mornings can be hard for me at times because I'm a recent widow...I was married for 24 years and I have to get used to being alone again...Sometimes I do ok and amuse myself and enjoy having time to myself. But I miss my husband and feel lonely at other times...It's going to take awhile to adjust to being single again.
Sorry for your loss.
As far as I'm concerned, the only time that I remember feeling lonely when I was single was the year that I spent away from everyone. I moved to a somewhat rural city far away from everyone I knew and was engaged to marry my wife. I didn't have a car so I couldn't even go for drives to get the boredom out of my system and I'm not the type of person to make friends without being cautious so, eventhough the people around me seemed friendly, I didn't incorporate them into my life (not that I could have, I was planning a wedding after all) outside of work or further than having a chat outside my apartment when it came to neighbors.
Once I got married and my wife moved in with me, that loneliness went away for the most part but we both still missed our families. We spent that first year driving back to L.A. almost every weekend to spend time with our families and towards the end of the second year my wife's mom died.
Without her support, my wife just couldn't handle living there anymore because she was being treated badly due to her skin color so we moved back to L.A. and we pretty much haven't been lonely since.
To the OP: I don't know if the above helps at all. I understand that not everyone has a good relationship with their family and they depend on friends to help with that loneliness but I learned a long time ago that friends (at least in my case) are never as close to you as family is. Hope things get better for you.
Yes, sometimes it can be lonely being single. I believe people feel lonely even when they are in a relationship (I know I have). There are so many songs about being "lonely" so you are not alone!
I would try to pick up some new interests in order to spice things up in your life. You can also find hobbies that you can do with other people like sports or dancing. As for being at home alone, you should fill that time up doing things that make you feel good. It's the perfect opportunity for pampering (pedicure, manicure, mask, deep conditioner, long bath with music, etc...). Also, have you tried meditation and/or yoga? It can definitely make you feel better when you are experiencing a lot of negative emotions.
I also have another silly suggestion but it works for me. When I feel alone, I wrap myself in a cocoon under my big down comforter. I guess they call it a comforter for a reason because it's definitely "comforting" (sorry for the pun, I couldn't help it lol). Anywho, I can usually fall asleep like this and tend to sleep really well. You can do this at night or even in the afternoon when you have time for a nap.
Fatmancomics...Thanks for your post. I'm glad that you and your wife are in a "better place" now and happier...Most of my immediate family members have passed on. Thank goodness I have a "loving son" who lives closeby. My older son passed away a few years ago when he was only 37. Sad...I have a few close friends who have come like family to me.
After your socials are over and your friends go home to their husbands and wives or their children or baby's daddies or whoever, you're the one at home with no one to talk to. At my age, being single makes me feel very lonely, especially when all my friends are with their significant others. Even hobbies don't seem as fun anymore because I start thinking about what it would be like to share the memory with someone else who's going to be around.
That's all. No, I am not ashamed to admit when I feel sad. Anyone else feel this way?
No.
And what's your age?
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Anyone else feel this way?
