stood up to hang out with his friends (date, boyfriend, married)
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So I was just wanting some advice from some of you all. I seeked the adivce of a good friend of mine and she seemed to be right on track with my thinking. I have been dateing this guy for about 2 weeks now (yeah not a long time at all, so not really serious yet). He is younger than me (18 I am 24) I felt a good vibe with him and we both decided to take it slow because we see potential here. So tonight we were suppose to go out to dinner and then a movie and he waited until about 30 min. before we were suppose to meet to let me know that he was invited to a party with some friends and really wanted to go.. he was sorry and asked if we could hang out tomorrow instead, I told him I had something to do and he said well lets hang out Sunday I am sorry. So do you think he is as intrested in me as I am with him? I was sooooooooo looking forward to this night. I figured I'd give a break the first time he blew me off but maybe just forget about it if it happened again. Could this be the age issue as well? Thanks in advanced!
Sounds like an issue of convenience for HIM. You're okay to be with when he doesn't have anything else to do. I would, particularly at his age, expect more of this to happen. What he did was immature and rude and blatantly tell you that you are second rate to anything else he is offered up to do. It's not as if he even considered asking you to go which is another consideration to age. I'd pass on this one and move on.
I, myself, once date a guy younger than myself who pulled this same crap, so I speak to the issue with some experience. One Christmas we got into an arguement and he made the remark I was mad because I didn't get an engagement ring and I stopped an laughed and told him dead on, "You're kidding right? I don't see you getting married until you are at least 30." Sure enough that's when he got married.
Don't be a doormat.
Last edited by Thursday007; 02-04-2011 at 08:06 PM..
Hmmm. If the guy really was into you, no way would he have ditched you for some friends. I suspect that the age (18) is a factor. You'll find some 18 year olds that are fairly mature, and others that have a long way to go. This guy was the latter. I'd just let him be and move on.
That was rude of him to cancel on you at the last minute, and not even for something important, but because he preferred to go to a party. If he had no qualms about standing you up at the last minute, it's clear he either doesn't like you very much or is way too immature to be anyone's boyfriend. I agree with the others that it could very well be his age. Throw this one back.
The man view? Well at least one man.... A man does what he said he was going to do, anyone should really but if you want to be a man you show up on time and carry your end of the log. It may be he was feeling some peer pressure at his age (you know, whipped type stuff) and would have actually preferred to go with you but couldnt quite overcome that pressure. No excuse there but its something that wasnt mentioned yet. Everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt and in most cases a second chance.
Were it me I would communicate my displeasure at the slight and make sure he actually knows it for what it was. At his age he may not. I would give him a chance. If he did it again I would consider moving on. Could be a good guy who just hasnt grown up yet or maybe he is a wee bit of a Richard. Either way you gave it a fair look.
He may very well be as interested in you as you are in him, but it sounds like his priorities are a bit skewed. His age and (lack of) maturity probably being the two biggest factors. If you truly do like him and want to pursue something just be aware that it is likely to happen again. Just don't sell yourself short; if you don't want to play second fiddle, you're best off leaving this guy to party with his friends and moving on. Good luck
Forget about him. If you were high on his list of priorities, he would not have been so rude. When a man really wants to be with you, he puts you before everything. Obviously he's still a child.
Thanks for the insight and advice everyone! he just texted me and said "hey I really miss you I feel bad for ditching" and then another right after saying "so explain to me how I can like you so much and not even know you a full month" I am really confused now!
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