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Old 01-27-2011, 08:33 PM
 
14,790 posts, read 13,477,165 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crackpot View Post
Quick question, how is living paycheck to paycheck really any different than having a salary? Either way if he gets fired he'll have no money the following month if he has no job. Forget 401k, because not everyone is fortunate to have one these days unless you're office personnel or management.

So what exactly is the kind of profession that women expect out of a man? Executive, business owner, successful entrepreneur? Because I'm getting signals from alot of women that they truly have unrealistic expectations on a man's worth. She can bring very little to the relationship while he's expected to make more and more and if he struggles she won't help out in any way, abort and bail?

Realistically, not all jobs will be permanent. Careers come and go, businesses rise and fall. I've seen long marriages and relationships fizzle away when husband falls on hard times and the last person he thought would be supportive left him with nothing.

And people wonder why marriage is failing.
Yes. This is exactly how it should be.

What are you doing posting here. Get back to work.
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Old 01-27-2011, 08:34 PM
 
15,732 posts, read 17,286,832 times
Reputation: 12728
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crackpot View Post
Quick question, how is living paycheck to paycheck really any different than having a salary? Either way if he gets fired he'll have no money the following month if he has no job. Forget 401k, because not everyone is fortunate to have one these days unless you're office personnel or management.

So what exactly is the kind of profession that women expect out of a man? Executive, business owner, successful entrepreneur? Because I'm getting signals from alot of women that they truly have unrealistic expectations on a man's worth. She can bring very little to the relationship while he's expected to make more and more and if he struggles she won't help out in any way, abort and bail?

Realistically, not all jobs will be permanent. Careers come and go, businesses rise and fall. I've seen long marriages and relationships fizzle away when husband falls on hard times and the last person he thought would be supportive left him with nothing.

And people wonder why marriage is failing.
People with high earning careers usually have a contract with stipulations that they recieve so much money if they are terminated...usually it's a years salary and benefits.
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Old 01-27-2011, 08:49 PM
 
Location: California
4,445 posts, read 5,169,495 times
Reputation: 9180
The two people involved in any relationship, define that relationship including money and who takes out the garbage or cleans the litter box. In my relationship, I am better about thinking about long term goals while my hubby is better at dealing with every day stuff. Together we make a better team than we do individually. If whoever you are getting to know, can't pull their weight as a team member than you had better read some of the relationship posts and see where you are headed. Money is important in a relationship but trust and a sense of humor. You can work together and save your money for future goals but what is that if you can't trust your partner in the next room! Don't use money as an excuse to not develop yourself and experience the world to make you an interesting person that people want to know.
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Old 01-27-2011, 08:50 PM
 
Location: North of Nowhere, South of Everywhere
1,085 posts, read 950,150 times
Reputation: 1889
I don't estimate the value of a person by there wealth but by who they are as a person cause wealth comes and goes but who there are will never change.
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Old 01-27-2011, 09:01 PM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
27,448 posts, read 17,619,243 times
Reputation: 39933
For a long term relationship, yes, I want a man who can contribute equally to our current and long term financial security. For friends I have no interest in their finances.

It's not about wanting a guy with money or who will spend it on me. It's about security. If he has an awesome house, a fabulous car, and spends tons of money on me... that's not my interest. Especially if all that equals debt.

For me it's whether he manages his money well, doesn't carry a lot of debt, lives within his means, has retirement, savings for emergencies, etc.

Right now my SO and I are both on a tight budget. So we spend our evenings watching movies, cooking, talking, hiking and the gym. We are having a great time.
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Old 01-27-2011, 09:07 PM
 
2,648 posts, read 2,506,905 times
Reputation: 3442
People in general, don't care what they make. Having just gone through a divorce which is final here in a few days I can say I will not allow a woman the keys to the treasury again. Ever. Any potential mate will have to be solvent in their own right, moreso than I am because I will not pay one cent to them if it ends. Pre-nup all the way even if they are higher earners which is unlikely but possible. Never again will I be in this position and I'm one of those people when I say never again it means something. I am sure that the pain of current events is clouding my judgement on many issues but financially speaking I'm to old to recover from another anal slamming like I just had.
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Old 01-27-2011, 09:15 PM
 
1,098 posts, read 1,506,049 times
Reputation: 1353
High earning men are a very small minority though, it's a huge pond of available women vs. a small pool of high earners.

I see people work hard for years and years and can't seem to catch a break in life while seeing others who put little into the company get all the rewards, but those reasons are because they either really know how to network or they are in the upper management/board member's family.

But still, it's such a small minority of men who get to make it so successful. And even then, those guys are so blinded by success they get taken to the cleaners if they're not careful. Guess that's why they call it coming full circle in the poverty line.

Now, a serious question for the women. What exactly do you provide in a relationship if you find a man that's good enough? I see such high demands for what I see as qualifications but nothing much about what "she" would do for "him". Just being in her company doesn't cut it.
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Old 01-27-2011, 09:25 PM
 
Location: New Zealand and Australia
7,458 posts, read 11,124,274 times
Reputation: 7783
At school you get a report card to see how you are doing.......how much money/assets you have, is life's report card.
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Old 01-27-2011, 09:26 PM
 
1,098 posts, read 1,506,049 times
Reputation: 1353
Risking a double post, I'm not trying to justify that a poor man is good enough but trying to stick up for the ones that make a good living be it paycheck/salary/what-have-you without having that extravagant career lifestyle as being the dealbreaker. I've found that having that high earning career really attracts the wrong kind of women and it's difficult to see the warning signs when blinded by the fabrication we call "love".

After a few years I'm very convinced that I've dodge a bullet on this whole dating/marriage game, and decided FWB is better for me. I'm worried that if my business really takes off I don't want to lose everything if I then seek a relationship after becoming successful and it goes south years down the road. If all I'm going to be good for is nothing more than a provider then I say to hell with society's expectations and to hell with LTR, I'm nobody's financial puppet. That's just my two cents.
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Old 01-27-2011, 09:39 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
16,469 posts, read 33,418,786 times
Reputation: 15197
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crackpot View Post
Quick question, how is living paycheck to paycheck really any different than having a salary? Either way if he gets fired he'll have no money the following month if he has no job. Forget 401k, because not everyone is fortunate to have one these days unless you're office personnel or management.
Seriously? You are mistakenly equating "living paycheck to paycheck" with being an hourly worker. What I am criticizing is someone that spends all of their paycheck every week and isn't saving any of it in a savings account.

Oprah's done several shows on people who worked menial jobs all of their lives, were good about putting aside a percentage of their paycheck, and ended up wealthy towards the end of their working lives.

It's fine to not want the stress of a managerial career, but then you must be able to gracefully accept a lesser standard of living. Personally, I'd rather work harder to own a house, then work less and just be a renter all my life. And I save a lot of money by driving an 18 year old car that is all paid for. I enjoy shopping at thrift stores. And all of my jewelry is bought secondhand for about 20-25% of their original retail prices.

And someone who has a well paying career most likely has a lot of job skills and is very good at what they do, so if they do get laid off, then it's also easier for them to find a new job. Someone who doesn't get paid very well, just isn't that valuable in the overall job money. And lots of people can do their job just as well, so if they lose their job it will be harder to find another job in a recession. The US economy is in a bad recession right now. And actually, those without a college degree or specialized job skill are the hardest hit in the unemployment numbers.

Otherwise, after a bit of thought about the friends I have. People who work lesser jobs just aren't as interesting to talk to or spend quality time with for any real length of time. I can only talk so much about sports teams or what's going on with our other friends. I do like talking about what happens at our jobs, so the more interesting their job, the more interesting our discussions. And fun and exciting hobbies like motorsports, cost money to participate in. And it's also nice to go out to a good restaurant once in a while, instead of cheap pizza or Chinese takeout to avoid paying a tip to the waitress. Anyway, if I had a friend who only could afford to watch tv and play cards for entertainment, well I'm not going to be spending a whole lot of time with them, let alone date and marry that person.
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