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Old 01-30-2011, 05:12 PM
 
Location: In my skin
8,032 posts, read 8,789,717 times
Reputation: 7871
Quote:
Originally Posted by TKramar View Post
My opinions about people who vilify others that have made different choices?
I responded to what I quoted.
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Old 01-30-2011, 05:48 PM
 
1,206 posts, read 1,329,773 times
Reputation: 1105
Sorry but we all do. Size of a bank account (or what we'd guess it to be) is definitely VERY influential in how we view others. I guarantee just dressing different (looking poor and looking rich) will INSTANTLY change how people treat you. So to say it doesn't matter is ridiculous and naive.

However saying if its right to do that, of course not. There are plenty of rich people that are horrible and i wouldn't want to know them. And theres plenty of great poor people. However 1st impressions matter and many people dont give others a chance after that. I think I personally do, but am still wary... sorry im still human =/

EDIT:

TK im sorry you feel you were attacked but there are several reasons. One this is the internet. simple as that. Two, class prejudice is probably the strongest prejudice in all of history. So as idealistic as having an equally treated society sounds, I think that its not gonna happen sorry. I dont see most rich people being ok with hanging out with poor people all the time. If you want acceptance then I suggest you stick to people of similar mentality/socioeconomic. Its just the nature of people dude. I think also religious environments might be more class equal (of course im talking about the "good" ones).
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Old 01-30-2011, 06:39 PM
 
2,728 posts, read 2,543,498 times
Reputation: 1899
Quote:
Originally Posted by TKramar View Post
PTC, the thread was started because I was being vilified.
TKramar, you make an assumption that people with money are never vilified. They are and our media thrive on such stories.

This is the kind of person I am attracted to and they do exist. Now this is how they have treated me so this order of assumptions is only my observation. They may not even have an order of assumptions.

When I had questionable behavior or behavior that didn't meet their expectations, this was the order of assumptions made by people I value:

1. They assumed I had good intentions first and remained civil to me. Most questionable behavior falls into this. Example: Not being succinct enough, complaining within reason, rustic manners

2. They assumed I was ignorant but still remain civil. Correcting the behavior depended on their personality. My FIL always corrected my behavior.
Examples:Not knowing which glass was for white wine, not knowing historical events, making harmless assumptions, poor manners such as having elbows on the table or not being an attentive hostess.

3. They assumed stupidity, still remained civil but required a correction of behavior if I valued their company.
Examples (I did not do these stupid things, thank goodness): making faces at somebody's food, making a rude comment about a gift, being rude in general, disrespecting a person's opinion or way of life, getting angry and yelling

4. They assumed maliciousness, did not remain civil and broke off any contact with that person. Examples: calling people names, verbal and physical abuse, stealing, you get the point
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Old 01-30-2011, 06:58 PM
 
3,290 posts, read 1,640,347 times
Reputation: 4850
How much you have or don't have should not determine how people view your character, however, they have a right to say they could not live as you do. For instance, I could not be with someone that did not have ambition. It doesn't have to be ambition to be rich. It could be the desire to travel and see the world, but they would need more than just conversation for me to be happy. If you find a woman content with games, conversation, living in an apartment with a roommate, and having very little money, then, that is great for you. You shouldn't get upset if some people don't think that would be enough for them. On CD I have seen many instances where posters villify the wealthy, and isn't that the same as what is being done to you? Everyone has to decide what they want out of live and work to get it. If you are content, more power to you. If others want more material things, that is their choice, and they have the right to try and obtain those things. Who cares what anyone else thinks of you? Don't give them any power.
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Old 01-30-2011, 07:07 PM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,238 posts, read 25,950,647 times
Reputation: 10558
Yes, Georgianbelle, they could certainly talk about what THEIR personal interpretation is. I don't have a problem with that. I have a problem when they attack me because I don't meet their standards, and try to say that NO ONE could possibly want anything to do with me. I don't consider it an attack if they just say that they couldn't deal with that level of income. I have a problem when they ask how anyone could possibly be interested in someone at that level of income.

And I think that guys who ask that question think women are gold diggers (I wouldn't characterize a woman in that way) and that women who ask that question probably think that broke men should not date. Not that I've been dating, or asking the people in question if they were interested in dating.

They simply chose to attack me for making $10 an hour, without considering any other characteristics that might interest a potential partner or acquaintance. Those that have become my acquaintance must have been interested in something other than money when making the decision.
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Old 01-31-2011, 03:19 AM
 
1,837 posts, read 2,154,366 times
Reputation: 1065
Quote:
Originally Posted by TKramar View Post
Just wondering.

I admit to not making a lot of money, or having a lot of things. But that doesn't mean that I'm not valuable in my own right. In another forum, I had two posters attacking me for it, and a few posters who were supportive of me.
I think it's important to be smart about what you're getting into. I like people who are responsible in all facets of their life. I'm not going to get inolved with somebody who is broke and has no career prospects--no matter how pretty or attractive or nice. On the same note, I'm not going to get involved with some rich chick, just because she has money.
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Old 01-31-2011, 05:10 AM
 
24,198 posts, read 13,772,803 times
Reputation: 24436
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jay100 View Post
I think it's important to be smart about what you're getting into. I like people who are responsible in all facets of their life. I'm not going to get inolved with somebody who is broke and has no career prospects--no matter how pretty or attractive or nice. On the same note, I'm not going to get involved with some rich chick, just because she has money.
I would define it the same way. I was with a guy who was extremely well off financially and we went on vacation together and by the time we flew home and switched seats because I couldn't even sit next to him for one more second, I couldn't stand him and left him at the airport in the middle of the night and told him to find his own way home which was an hour away. He may have had money, but his personality sucked big time. No amount of money would cover that up.

Another gentleman I dated wasn't bad off at all, but he was fun and funny and, frankly, a great catch for any woman. He was what I would call 'fiscally responsible' not necessarily rich. Even though it didn't work out between us I still run into him once in a while and we always end up laughing about something. It was his personality that was the attraction not his bank account. I still have respect for the man because of his personality and sense of responsiblity.

Trust me, when I say personality will trump your wallet every time.
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Old 01-31-2011, 06:10 AM
 
2,728 posts, read 2,543,498 times
Reputation: 1899
Quote:
Originally Posted by TKramar View Post
There's a lot to talk about, if you just take the time to do it.
That's good but people get hungry. Do you keep a good table?
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Old 01-31-2011, 07:12 AM
 
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
21,304 posts, read 24,427,593 times
Reputation: 22108
Quote:
Originally Posted by TKramar View Post
I'm not trying to put anyone down--I'm just asking for the same sort of respect to be shown to me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TKramar View Post
They simply chose to attack me for making $10 an hour, without considering any other characteristics that might interest a potential partner or acquaintance. Those that have become my acquaintance must have been interested in something other than money when making the decision.
Respect is earned, not something automatically given because you ask for it. Why do you care anyway? I'd guess that whoever has allegedly "vilified" and "attacked" you has done so not because you make $10 an hour but for other more substantial reasons based on the personality traits they perceive in you. But again, why do you care and why do you feel the need to defend yourself?

Your lifestyle obviously isn't everyone's cup of tea - so what?
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Old 01-31-2011, 07:23 AM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,238 posts, read 25,950,647 times
Reputation: 10558
Quote:
Originally Posted by crisan View Post
That's good but people get hungry. Do you keep a good table?
If I'm living with her, she does.

But not every person I interact with is going to be someone I date. I've talked with a number of people online who I've never met who would appear to like me for some reason. There are people I'm acquainted with--in real life--who don't find my company intolerable. There must be some reason for that.
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