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Old 04-05-2011, 06:40 AM
 
Location: Holiday, FL
1,571 posts, read 1,996,040 times
Reputation: 1165

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Freedom123 View Post
I had a conversation with a friend this week about this exact thing. She wasn't getting any attention on dating sites until I told her to change that, now she can't keep up with the attention. More ladies should take the approach of saying what they have to offer the guy in their profiles if they want to catch someone's attention outside of only physical appearance.
At this point, with everything I've read in the ads and the things I've heard women say, the only way any woman is going to get close to me again is:

She's going to have to come into my house while I'm asleep.
Very quietly slip into the bedroom.
Must be very quiet, not to wake me too soon.
Then, wake me when it's too late to say, "NO".
(As long as you are not stealing from me, or threatening my life, I won't be calling the police. But, fail and you will be asked to leave.)

That means, she must be certain of the right house.
She must know my schedule, and when to expect me to be asleep.
The dog must know her well or it will raise the alarm when she touches the outside door knob. Then she'll have to lure a 90 pound animal off the bed without waking me up. If I wake up too early, all bets are off, and the answer will be "NO!!!"

Now, how daring are you?

 
Old 04-06-2011, 12:48 AM
 
Location: ...
3,924 posts, read 2,556,240 times
Reputation: 9055
Originally Posted by headhunter18
Quote:
The bottom line is that young women are extremely shallow and act pricey just because they think they possess the looks, the same women become desperate and fall for every jerk on the road once they hit their 30s, giving the usual bull about how they value a person's personality blah blah blah, fact is, women are just pre judgmental and hung up on looks for the most part, although they are experts at denying it, most men usually look for things beyond a woman's physical assets, which sadly most women don't understand when they are young. LOL.


Quote:
Originally Posted by STT Resident View Post
Spoken like a true misogynist. Somehow I don't think you gave up on dating but dating gave up on you.
Thank you! Esp. after all the comments about women ALL being shallow!

It does no good to paint a broad brush over women OR men. The important thing is to see each person as an individual and see who they are for themselves, not our preconceived notions of who they are by superficial judgments.
 
Old 04-06-2011, 02:18 PM
 
30,907 posts, read 32,884,125 times
Reputation: 26919
Quote:
Originally Posted by the old man View Post
tv guy has had success on craigs list????? when did this happen??--- tv dude ?? you been holding out on us
Well, he successfully posted on it.
 
Old 04-13-2011, 12:20 PM
 
Location: pittsburgh
911 posts, read 2,369,192 times
Reputation: 411
dating sucks. im tired of the hassle of trying not to be nervous or saying somthing stupid or wondering "will she call back" and all that other b.s. i dont like games and i guess i dont know the rules of dating ie: 3 day rule and whatever other stupid rules there are. no im not perfect nor will i ever be. guess what no one else is either. im tired of being single but im fed up with the dating stuff. so i guess i lose no matter what
 
Old 04-13-2011, 01:16 PM
 
288 posts, read 715,889 times
Reputation: 193
Quote:
Originally Posted by bbrian12 View Post
dating sucks. im tired of the hassle of trying not to be nervous or saying somthing stupid or wondering "will she call back" and all that other b.s. i dont like games and i guess i dont know the rules of dating ie: 3 day rule and whatever other stupid rules there are. no im not perfect nor will i ever be. guess what no one else is either. im tired of being single but im fed up with the dating stuff. so i guess i lose no matter what
I hear ya. The best advise I can give anyone is to just be yourself. This means finding your interests and diving in. Take a stand on issues. Express yourself. The people who don't like you will avoid you. The people who are aligned with your way of thinking will stick by you.

I think the problem with you, me, and other guys having a hard time to date is trying to stay on the fence and please everyone. This makes it difficult for women to know who you are and what you stand for. I face that battle every day. I fear posting my views on facebook in that I will lose "friends". However, I think you will find your allies emerge over time.

It is a very hard undertaking to seek to please everybody
- Publilius Syrus
 
Old 04-13-2011, 02:44 PM
 
2,028 posts, read 1,883,142 times
Reputation: 1001
Quote:
Originally Posted by AutumnTraveler View Post
I hear ya. The best advise I can give anyone is to just be yourself. This means finding your interests and diving in. Take a stand on issues. Express yourself. The people who don't like you will avoid you. The people who are aligned with your way of thinking will stick by you.

I think the problem with you, me, and other guys having a hard time to date is trying to stay on the fence and please everyone. This makes it difficult for women to know who you are and what you stand for. I face that battle every day. I fear posting my views on facebook in that I will lose "friends". However, I think you will find your allies emerge over time.

It is a very hard undertaking to seek to please everybody
- Publilius Syrus
Good afternoon,

The problem a lot of these men have, is that "being yourself" sounds good but it hasn't been working for them all these years. Many of the guys who posted are late 20s/early 30s and have never had a girlfriend! Sometimes people have to come to terms with the idea that being yourself isn't attractive to their target dating market. So even though it's wonderful be true to yourself, it won't make one more successful. For example, the stereotypical Steve Urkel or Screech Powers guy, or the guy who seems creepy by women no matter what he does.

I'd advise them to "be themselves" ONLY if they change their target market to one that appreciates those qualities. Another good idea is to frame themselves in the best light possible, that makes them true to themselves, but attractive to the opposite sex. Examples of this are a guy who's nerdy but hits the gym, updates his wardrobe, and improves his mannerisms to become the appealing guy who "happens to be very intelligent".

If women don't find him attractive, he needs to get brutal answers from women in his target market immediately! If it's teeth, see a dentist and fix it. If it's body, hit the gym! Many women will go with a below average face if the body's right. If it's really that important to you, reverse engineer the process to see how you get from point A to Z.

I say this all as a guy who continued to "be myself" after waking up to my realities with women, but updated my appeal and went from a hopeless nerdy guy with no action from women whatsoever, to being able to pick and choose and getting marriage proposals from women. All I did was change my target audience to women who actually LIKED smart guys who happened to be black, hit the gym, updated my wardrobe and mannerisms, and learned about women. If one doesn't know anything about women and what attracts them, makes them tick, and keeps them around, it's difficult for anyone who's not in the highly desired top 10% of men. I'm not talking about cheesy PUA stuff, I'm talking about paying attention to the women in your life, even the ones who friend zoned you, and learn what works, what doesn't, and why.

Pay attention to women's ACTIONS, not their words. Many women will say they want a certain kind of guy and fall madly for the exact opposite. That's how many get stuck in the "be yourself" "nice guy" "friend zone", by trying to live up to what female friends, sisters, moms, and other women say is an appealing guy but is not in the real world. You'll get your best results if you know women better than they know themselves, and can almost predict their behavior and decisions, based on certain personality types and scenarios. Don't be a jerk, just be an interesting challenge who doesn't wilt like a flower for her and is professing love after 1 week. That's not attractive to most women, even if they explicitly say they want a nice guy.

Now there are some who say you shouldn't change yourself to please others. I agree. The only reason I made those changes is because I also wanted them for myself. However, if you don't want to make the changes for yourself, then you have to evaluate if it's worth being alone.

Last edited by Freedom123; 04-13-2011 at 03:06 PM..
 
Old 04-30-2011, 12:03 AM
 
545 posts, read 1,553,220 times
Reputation: 518
I haven't been using CD lately due to exams. I'm so happy regarding the responses I've been getting.

I still haven't found a girlfriend. The frustrating thing is that I went on a few dates and the girls didn't feel any "chemistry" with me. Before I thought I was a pretty attractive shy guy... now it seems like I'm a pretty unattractive shy guy.

How can one develop confidence when one gets rejected due to low confidence? It's easy to say "get more confidence"... but it's so hard to do it in real life.

I'm quite frustrated. But I'll definitely start approaching more women since I have more time now and I've lowered my standards... significantly. Before, I'd find only a few girls attractive in a class of 200, but now I'm willing to go with about 80% of them.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tashie2005 View Post
I can't believe all these young guys here desperate for a date! I find that hard to believe. Let me tell you there are just as many single women out there looking for a guy.
Let me ask you, are you looking for an extremely goodlooking woman, or would you date a woman that was a little bit chubby? Would you date a woman that was just average looking?
Women have this dating problem also and think that the guys just want a perfect, beautiful woman.
That's got to be a joke. How many guys did your single friends reject in the past year?

Girls have the luxury of paradoxically appearing sad at being single and yet still reject men like dead flies. We don't have that luxury. If a fat girl asks me out then I'd say yes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by d-boy-80 View Post
Is it ok that a woman spends her best years with dirt? What do I-a decent man-get? A physically worn out woman with a lot of mental damage? Hardly something I would want to support or have the children of.
+1

Guys like us don't get noticed until they turn 30 and realize that stability is more fun than drama. But by then they're jaded and worn out.

Last edited by Malkiel; 04-30-2011 at 12:55 AM..
 
Old 04-30-2011, 12:56 AM
 
461 posts, read 780,939 times
Reputation: 1006
Quote:
Originally Posted by Malkiel View Post
I haven't been using CD lately due to exams. I'm so happy regarding the responses I've been getting.

I still haven't found a girlfriend. The frustrating thing is that I went on a few dates and the girls didn't feel any "chemistry" with me. Before I thought I was a pretty attractive shy guy... now it seems like I'm a pretty unattractive shy guy.

How can one develop confidence when one gets rejected due to low confidence? It's easy to say "get more confidence"... but it's so hard to do it in real life.

I'm quite frustrated. But I'll definitely start approaching more women since I have more time now and I've lowered my standards... significantly. Before, I'd find only a few girls attractive in a class of 200, but now I'm willing to go with about 80% of them.
Understand first what confidence really means. Confidence is the strength you use to pick yourself up and try again. You accept not everyone will like you (humility) and even though you feel the sting of rejection, you also realize the positive attributes you have to offer. Too many mistake confidence for cockiness.

Shouldn't your own admission that out of 200 girls, you only find a few attractive apply to a few dates who aren't equally interested? You in this instance are one of the 200, so don't get upset that these girls are readily dismissing you on the same basis.
Be realistic about who you pursue and maybe go deeper than just looks. Average be a better match than 'hot'. If you go for just looks then so does the object of your affections. Don't compete if you're not qualified.

Last edited by myrevenge; 04-30-2011 at 01:46 AM..
 
Old 05-02-2011, 03:14 PM
 
2,028 posts, read 1,883,142 times
Reputation: 1001
Quote:
Originally Posted by Malkiel View Post

How can one develop confidence when one gets rejected due to low confidence? It's easy to say "get more confidence"... but it's so hard to do it in real life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Malkiel View Post
Guys like us don't get noticed until they turn 30 and realize that stability is more fun than drama. But by then they're jaded and worn out.
Good afternoon,

You develop more confidence by discovering what makes you unattractive in the first place. Reverse engineer the process and find women who will be brutally honest enough to say what is unattractive about you, and what WILL make you attractive.

In the meantime, HIT THE GYM, see a dentist, see a dermatologist (if you have skin issues), see a good hair stylist, update your wardrobe (I didn't say spend it on flashy clothes, just new, clean and up to date). You'd be surprised how many athletic, well dressed and groomed, confident, yet UGLY guys get beautiful woman. I see it all the time, and I bet you do too!

Practice building your conversational skills and confidence with women who are less your ideal, so when your ideal comes along your confidence won't wilt like a flower.

Another option is to not do any of the above and simply be miserable dating women who aren't your ideal.

I agree with you about guys like you not getting noticed until you're 30, but if you really want a woman, dealing with this is a sad part of the process. Or, you can go through an even tougher time than you are now to find that genuine woman who didn't play around in her 20s and is miraculously single.
 
Old 05-02-2011, 04:33 PM
 
545 posts, read 1,553,220 times
Reputation: 518
Quote:
Originally Posted by Freedom123 View Post
Good afternoon,

You develop more confidence by discovering what makes you unattractive in the first place. Reverse engineer the process and find women who will be brutally honest enough to say what is unattractive about you, and what WILL make you attractive.

In the meantime, HIT THE GYM, see a dentist, see a dermatologist (if you have skin issues), see a good hair stylist, update your wardrobe (I didn't say spend it on flashy clothes, just new, clean and up to date). You'd be surprised how many athletic, well dressed and groomed, confident, yet UGLY guys get beautiful woman. I see it all the time, and I bet you do too!

Practice building your conversational skills and confidence with women who are less your ideal, so when your ideal comes along your confidence won't wilt like a flower.

Another option is to not do any of the above and simply be miserable dating women who aren't your ideal.

I agree with you about guys like you not getting noticed until you're 30, but if you really want a woman, dealing with this is a sad part of the process. Or, you can go through an even tougher time than you are now to find that genuine woman who didn't play around in her 20s and is miraculously single.
Thanks. You're the first person to give concrete advice.

Well, I think I'm unattractive because I'm short and Asian. There's nothing I can do to change that. White women rarely date Asians and all the Asian girls go after White guys.

Girls these days are too tall. I'm 5"10 but I'm shorter than all the girls at my gym.

Also, my passion is extremely boring. I'm good at business and making money. But it seems that girls my age don't care about stability. They just want a hot **** buddy. It doesn't make sense. I wish it were the '50s when girls actually cared about a man's earning potential... since that's all I'm good at.

I just feel so defeated these days. When I was in high school... I was confident because I had the high marks. It sucks knowing that being smart doesn't make one attractive. Girls say they love smart guys... that's not true at all.

Last edited by Malkiel; 05-02-2011 at 04:48 PM..
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