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I'd like to ask you a question that has been bothering me a bit. For a fuller context, I think I should share the following:
1. I'm 34 years old, and bold normally. I have a Norwood type 6 (VI) - 7 (VII) baldness since about 5 years ago. (In other words, it's not like I have fabio hair which makes me stand out, etc...) When we were married, in 1999, I had more hair but it was obvious that I was losing it.
2. When I shaved my hair, my wife made a very big deal about it. I think that she feels it makes me look like a gangster or someone who belongs in prison. I want it shaved because it makes me younger. Again, I'm already 60-70% bold anyways.
So, what do you think? Should I shave my head or not?
I realize that these things are subjective, but I figure if I'm ugly being bold, I'd probably not be uglier shaved, right? I feel that the issues between me and wife are of a control type. And no, shaving my head is not the only problem we have.
Some other problems are:
1. She does not want me to get a firearm in the house.
2. She does not want me to workout (since that creates more laundry for her)
3. She wants me to do more work around the house (though I work full time and my wife is a stay at home mom)
4. She is against any electronics toys that I purchase (i purchased an ipod touch and a smart phone, both of these resulted in a bad reaction).
I think it's your hair and you should do what you want with it, but I also think it's important to remember that you want your wife to be attracted to you. What about a buzz cut, instead of going all the way bald? (It's bald with a A, by the way. No offense. )
The other stuff ... I think you and your wife need to work on your communication. I understand disagreeing about having a firearm in the house--it's a big deal!--but have you discussed why she is so against it? The only way I would allow a gun in the house is if it were locked in a gun safe. We have children, and I would worry myself sick otherwise.
The other issues seem like very odd things to fight about, in my opinion. It sounds like there is a lot more going on between you two. Why do you disagree so much about little things? Can't you compromise? I mean, why can't you put your sweaty clothes in the washer if that is such a big deal? Did you spend money on the gadgets that you didn't have? I need to know more before I can give you advice on the rest.
thanks. bold is different than bald. and I'm bald. got it.
buzz cut does not work for her. it has to be 1/8 in and not shorter.
I agree that we should compromise. We are very frugal with our money. We have a savings account with about half of our (or mine) salary. And we are not talking yachts or boats.
Wife is against guns even when in the safe. I feel that she is being unreasonable and I doubt that a shaved head changes anything. on most photos, when my head is slightly turned, you just see a patch that look like a sideburn above my ear. I don't see how removing the patch changed *everything*. But perhaps I'm wrong.
Oh.. and get this. She feels like I'm treating her like a housekeeper only when I refuse to do what she says. I don't mind spending money on her. Just last year, I've spent almost 4K on the nice wedding and a new set of engagement rings. She has her own credit card nos, etc... so it's not like I'm forcing her to do anything against her will, EXCEPT let me do some things that I want to do.
Relationships require compromises, but it does sound like you're the one expected to compromise - even though you've done what you wanted anyway, it seems.
You don't provide enough detail to say if you or she is more unreasonable. Clearly, you shouldn't be expected to NOT work out, but perhaps you could do the extra laundry it produces, and consider too that it should not take time away from helping with or playing with the kids or helping with other chores. You may work, but your wife also needs breaks.
As for the hair, I think the balance leans towards your preference there, and possibly towards your wife on the other issues. I think the other issues may have more to do with time - that your purchases or interests detract from couple and family time.
I think it's your hair and you should do what you want with it, but I also think it's important to remember that you want your wife to be attracted to you. What about a buzz cut, instead of going all the way bald? (It's bald with a A, by the way. No offense. )
The other stuff ... I think you and your wife need to work on your communication. I understand disagreeing about having a firearm in the house--it's a big deal!--but have you discussed why she is so against it? The only way I would allow a gun in the house is if it were locked in a gun safe. We have children, and I would worry myself sick otherwise.
The other issues seem like very odd things to fight about, in my opinion. It sounds like there is a lot more going on between you two. Why do you disagree so much about little things? Can't you compromise? I mean, why can't you put your sweaty clothes in the washer if that is such a big deal? Did you spend money on the gadgets that you didn't have? I need to know more before I can give you advice on the rest.
^^^I agree with Julia. Are you telling us the full story on the list of why she doesn't want you do those things? Also I agree with Julia about getting a buzzcut. That way it's a compromise for both of you.
I don't blame your wife for not wanting a gun in the house!
Do your own workout laundry and do what you want with your hair... but don't expect your wife to be happy about it.
My husband doesn't like short hair. So I probably wouldn't cut it short. Why? Because I want him to find me attractive. If that doesn't matter to you then go ahead!
Ah. The way I read it, you had a wedding last year, in addition to rings.
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