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My sincere sympathies I was in much the same boat as you, until relatively recently. No luck whatsoever, anywhere I went -- churches, coffee houses, dance clubs, online; nothing, nada, zip. Granted, I didn't try bars specifically per se, but you get the picture.
Like you, I sent hundreds upon hundreds of online messages and many, many different (even pay-based) dating sites, with *extremely* few replies. And, much like you, I was just about to totally give up, and throw in the towel on dating. When suddenly, the sweetest, kindest, most adorable gal who was also actually interested in me, the same way I was about her, came my way at last.
The point I'm trying to make is: don't give up friend...keep trying! Keep looking for that one, sweet, loving girl to come into your life. If some gals don't like you, they don't reciprocate your interest? Forget about them...they're not giving you a fair shot, then their loss, because there are always plenty other gals out there, some of which who are prolly actually a lot nicer than they are, anyway But don't give up on women, just b/c of a few bad apples k?
If you don't wanna go to bars anymore, that's understandable -- but at least keep the online dating channels open, just because the sheer volume of gals you can contact in looking for love online increases your probability of success than if you are randomly trying to talk to a few girls every so often right off the bat.
Good luck!!
ETA: The best online dating site that I myself personally used, and which resulted in the most dates by far for me, was not eHarmony or any pay-based sites, but the free site OKCupid.
Couldn't agree with this guy more. Online dating can be stressful and frustrating at times, and it doesnt necessarily become "better" even if you are finding dates. After a year and a half I met the sweetest nicest girl who is very attractive, smart, and is super crazy about me. Oh, and she loves sex and it's amazing.
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Originally Posted by Ironhorse444
I would very much agree with you except for the fact I don't have to approach them and they behave the same way. So, what's up with that?
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Originally Posted by Ironhorse444
Don't sweat it, I Just needed a user name to sign up with this board and it's one I've used before but I've never used it on a dating site. LOL, no biker outfits for a night club, I just dress like everyone else that goes to such establishment. Attire depends upon the venue and if it's more relaxed then jeans might be alright with a nice dress shirt. If it's a bit more upscale then we are talking more business casual type a wardrobe...
Like I said I can't for the life of me figure out what the problem is. I've never been as pre-judgmental and rude as these women tend to be towards me. It's as if I have a flashing sign above my head that I can't see that says stay back 500 feet?
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Originally Posted by Ironhorse444
Well, the only thing I know left to do is look to he 20's somethings and the 40 somethings maybe they will be far less picky. The women my age are just too full of themselves still dreaming unrealistic expectations. I really don't have to worry about them as they'll still be single when their 50 and wondering where and why their still single.
Since you're on a mission to find out what's wrong, I'll share my thoughts based on just what you've posted on this thread:
Based on what I've bolded above, there's some bitterness there. You sound polite and calm but that doesn't mean your bitterness doesn't show to others. Attitude is EVERYTHING in finding someone, and your attitude stinks. Not to be harsh, that's just what I see.
Here's what you need to do: stop worrying about whether women are too picky or whether they are rude to you and won't give you a chance. You need to think about yourself and what YOU can offer a girl. What do YOU bring to the table in a relationship?
Start working on yourself first. Make new friends. Take on new hobbies. Travel Europe for a couple weeks. Do some soul searching and find out who you are, what makes you a great guy, and what you can provide a woman in a relationship. I haven't met you but it doesn't seem like good looks and charisma are on your side, and that's fine because they aren't required to find a good girl. You need to start acting more "happy". Do things that are fun because YOU enjoy doing them. Stop caring about whether you have a gf or not. Ask friends of the opposite sex what they think about you and what you can improve about yourself. Ask them if they can introduce you to any women (not set up, just meet them, set ups are disasters). Enjoy your life, enjoy people, do things to make you happy as an individual and I'm sure your attitude and happiness will show more in public and you'll start finding women are more drawn to you. Your bitter attitude is showing through your body language in public places whether you think so or not and it sends a negative vibe that cause women to run.
It's no different in the real world, I can go to a bar/nightclub and even when I don't approach a woman, they steer clear. I dress nice enough I've got good hygiene, I take car of myself, I'm not over weight, I'm tall but not of giant height. I'm friendly, funny, and good conversationalist on a vast number of subjects. I'm intelligent but modest about it and cool and relaxed. Yet, if a woman comes to the bar to get a drink and I just say hi nice evening isn't it. They roll their eyes and give me a look like they are too good to speak to me and usually just stay silent never replying to my comment.
Is it just me or does others have this bad a luck? I'm just about ready to give up for good and never step out the door of my home again.
I wouldn't call this bad luck, I'd call it good luck....do you really want to meet a woman like that?? Instead of going to the bar to meet women, why not go just to have a drink and people watch....that special someone might be doing the same thing..
Question. How old are you? How old are the women you're approaching?
Last edited by sassafras12; 03-10-2011 at 11:31 PM..
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I was in much the same boat as you, until relatively recently. No luck whatsoever, anywhere I went -- churches, coffee houses, dance clubs, online; nothing, nada, zip. Granted, I didn't try bars specifically per se, but you get the picture.
But don't give up on women, just b/c of a few bad apples k? 
Ages?
