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I would sit down with your boys and talk to them. Find out why they don't like the new guy. Are their reasons valid? Do you value their judgment?
Ask them how they might feel about you "running away" to live with him in another town and handing them over to their dad. Listen to them and if you care about them, pay attention to their concerns.
If you don't give a crap about them, then take off for greener pastures and tell them you'll see them around!
I don't know the in's and out's of your situation. I don't really like what I am reading so far. Your guy is still in a relationship with someone else? And you are thinking of leaving your kids to be with him? Not good at all.
I think you should be smart about it all the way around. Again, I don't know the particulars of your relationship with this man. But if you really want to be with him and he with you, make sure he is out of that relationship and that it is truly in the rear view mirror before you alter your life, and the lives of your kids, to be with him. Leaving his relationship with you does not entitle him to you leaving your kids to be with him. IF this is what he expects, he does not truly have your best interests in mind.
Your youngest is almost an adult. See him through to graduating high school and his start in what ever direction he chooses to go after that. Then, if you want to move, with or without this man, go.
Your boys are already 17 and 19... Plenty of 17 years olds go off to college, university or the armed forces and are mature enough to handle that... It would be one thing if your kids were 5 years old but these kids are adults...
IMHO, one of the problems in our society here is that we do our utmost to delay the onset of maturity in our kids... In Alberta the age of majority and adulthood is 18. (Legal to drink at 18 too)
If you really want to be picky, wait until the youngest is 18.
You will leave home and hearth to join yourself with a man...who is cheating on his SO and, potentially, their children. They will see you as a "homewrecker" at best.
Now, I know that 19 is an adult, but if they're going to college, they need a semi-stable home until 22. I've seen kids really get screwed up during the college years because the home situation collapses into pieces, because the parents thought it was "best" to divorce after Timmy or Samantha graduate HS.
The father is an unknown variable. Is he capable of keeping an eye on the 17 year old, waiting up for him at night, and preparing college applications? Is he capable of guiding the 19 yr old to a meaningful manhood? If he is, they may well be better off.
If you do leave your kids high and dry....well, they pick your nursing home. Can you say: state-funded hell hole?
Your boys are already 17 and 19... Plenty of 17 years olds go off to college, university or the armed forces and are mature enough to handle that... It would be one thing if your kids were 5 years old but these kids are adults...
IMHO, one of the problems in our society here is that we do our utmost to delay the onset of maturity in our kids... In Alberta the age of majority and adulthood is 18. (Legal to drink at 18 too)
If you really want to be picky, wait until the youngest is 18.
NO ONE wants their mother to run away from them no matter what age you are, and that's exactly what this lady is doing. That would hurt ANYONE'S feeling, regardless of age.
Second of all, I didn't know any 19 or 17 year olds that were 100% ready to be on their own. The 19 and 17 year old still need guidance, love and support for when they go out into the world and make dunderheaded mistakes like most people do at that age. They need a foundation, a person, on whom they can emotionally rely. They still need their parents, just in a different, more limited way.
You will leave home and hearth to join yourself with a man...who is cheating on his SO and, potentially, their children. They will see you as a "homewrecker" at best.
Now, I know that 19 is an adult, but if they're going to college, they need a semi-stable home until 22. I've seen kids really get screwed up during the college years because the home situation collapses into pieces, because the parents thought it was "best" to divorce after Timmy or Samantha graduate HS.
The father is an unknown variable. Is he capable of keeping an eye on the 17 year old, waiting up for him at night, and preparing college applications? Is he capable of guiding the 19 yr old to a meaningful manhood? If he is, they may well be better off.
If you do leave your kids high and dry....well, they pick your nursing home. Can you say: state-funded hell hole?
The truth is you were both cheating and with each other? Cause thats what I get when I read your post....
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First, they're adults; second; they have a father, too; third, she's not moving to the Moon!
