The old "battle of the sexes".... (how to, men, husband)

[CArizona]

Originally Posted by TimelessClassic

Yes. The current media-crazy society has made genders conpetitive instead of compatible.

I agree...A lot of movies and sit-coms pit men and women against each other in competitive ways. This gets old.

[Knight2009]

Originally Posted by Jefetio

I do enjoy women. I have sisters, cousins, aunts, friends, and coworkers who are women and for the most part I think they are great people. Not to mention my mother who is like royalty.

It's when I start to date them that all the chaos starts. All those expectations of gender, relationship scripts, baggage, control issues, trust issues yada yada yada. I hope someday to find a woman with a clean slate and get to know each other and treat each other like we understand.

^^^^
Amen to that...you're right on!

Baggage...assumptions...scripts...ppl should forget about all of these things holding them back, and just look at forming new relationships, with open hearts and minds.

[CArizona]

One day I might decide to start dating again and it seems "spooky" to me...My husband and I were together for 28 years before he passed away earlier this year. I am really out of touch with the current "dating scene."...My husband and I didn't play out the "battle of the sexes" in our marriage but it sure seems like a lot of couples do...Why? Maybe it does have to do with being a little more "gender-neutral." I've always viewed myself as a "person first" and a woman "second."...My husband probably viewed himself as a "person first" too...It's hard to explain. But we just weren't caught-up in "gender wars." We could sit back and relax and enjoy each other without turning every little thing into a "power struggle" based on our gender...We ran into differences at times and had to resolve them. But we didn't assume that everything revolved around the "male/female stuff." And it didn't...Anyway I wouldn't want to play out the "battle of the sexes" in any future relationships.

[purehuman]

Originally Posted by CArizona

All men are "this way!" All women are "that way!" It seems weird to see the old "battle of the sexes" being played out today...It reminds me of politics where liberals and conservatives "battle it out" for "control." What happened to "creating bridges" and searching for some "middle" and "common ground?"...We've all been "programmed" to be certain ways based on our gender and maybe we have somewhat different genes and "wiring" but this doesn't mean that we can't work to understand each other and find some "common ground."...It's impossible to have decent relationships if we get addicted to "battles" and tossing around blame towards the opposite sex. How do you feel about it? Thanks.

I think SOMe men are "this way", and SOME women are "that way", the trick is to find a partner that isn't either. THEN, a real, and long lasting relationship can be built on compatibility and respect.

[CArizona]

Our "gender programming" probably leads to unrealistic expectations in relationships...Don't you think?

[TimelessClassic]

Originally Posted by Knight2009

^^^^
True...which is in fact, a very tragic thing

That's how the media (TV, relationship magazines, Cosmo, talk shows, dating services, divorce attorneys, etc) make tons of money...

[TimelessClassic]

Originally Posted by CArizona

Our "gender programming" probably leads to unrealistic expectations in relationships...Don't you think?

Our gender programming, when combined with the media's insatiable desire to sensationalize everything to make money, leads to unrealistic expectations in relationships. That's an important distinction.

[Mr. Humble]

There is an inherent difference between the sexes, and you know what the French say, "Long may it live!"

[Mikala43]

Originally Posted by LuckyGem

I don't really have a problem with dressing children in gender specific styles. It's part of role modeling in early child development. I wouldn't raise my child gender neutral. And children do gravitate to gender specific toys. There may be a girl who likes an occasional sports car but she's probably going to want to play with baby dolls and wear pink more-so than a Tonka truck.

I think it is dangerous when children do not grow up with an understanding of specific gender roles because society is not gender neutral, genders have specific roles in society whether the progressives like it or not.

Telling a boy not to cry doesn't have anything to do with programming, not all parents raise their boys to be devoid of emotion and aggressive to do so would be bad parenting.

Mmmmm..... I grew up playing with the boys, dirt clod fights, climbing trees, making forts; never could understand the allure of dolls.

I was never taught my "gender role".

As an adult I am considered an excellent cook, and plenty comment on how clean and well decorated my home is. That has nothing to do with my role... I just developed interests into those areas.

My role is whatever I say it is... or if I have an SO, whatever we agree our roles are.

Just to stay on topic.... I don't believe in "battle of the sexes". Assigning a stereotype to 50% of the population is intellectually lazy, and a huge blanket excuse either for your own behaviour or the opposite gender's.

Someone's either right for your or not. Period.

[imsh0t]

those people are just bitter and refuse to take responsibility for their own inadequacies and poor social skills.