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Old 03-02-2011, 09:00 PM
 
56 posts, read 116,299 times
Reputation: 67

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Hmmm Let's see..I've faked being nice sometimes. There are some people that I CAN'T ABSOLUTELY STAND because of their arrogance and annoyance..but since I have no choice but to deal with them, I fake being nice by:
-Complimenting them on their clothes or hairstyles ( that I most of the time find hideous)
-Smilling at their not so funny jokes
-Giving Fake hugs or pat on the back after pretending to listen to their life stories

I'm not sure if they ever caught on that though but my boss has been told that I'm one charming sweet young woman!
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Old 03-02-2011, 09:06 PM
 
47,576 posts, read 57,470,123 times
Reputation: 22101
Quote:
Originally Posted by caraibenah View Post
Hmmm Let's see..I've faked being nice sometimes. There are some people that I CAN'T ABSOLUTELY STAND because of their arrogance and annoyance..but since I have no choice but to deal with them, I fake being nice by:
-Complimenting them on their clothes or hairstyles ( that I most of the time find hideous)
-Smilling at their not so funny jokes
-Giving Fake hugs or pat on the back after pretending to listen to their life stories

I'm not sure if they ever caught on that though but my boss has been told that I'm one charming sweet young woman!
I can never do those things. I have never once given someone a compliment on clothes or hairstyles if I didn't mean it, especially if they're hideous - why say anything at all? Silence is golden.

Same thing if a joke isn't funny - they might get a groan or I'll give them a puzzled look if a joke isn't funny. I'll laugh only when I think it is.

Some jobs might require some fake friendliness but I think you can be polite without faking niceness.
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Old 03-02-2011, 09:10 PM
 
20,979 posts, read 15,182,914 times
Reputation: 10270
Quote:
Originally Posted by NuShooz View Post
Some people are just extremely nice and are always being sweet, and then you have some people who pretend to be nice/charming and aren't that nice. How do you tell the difference?
The difference is easy.

What do they want?
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Old 03-02-2011, 09:23 PM
 
56 posts, read 116,299 times
Reputation: 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute View Post
I can never do those things. I have never once given someone a compliment on clothes or hairstyles if I didn't mean it, especially if they're hideous - why say anything at all? Silence is golden.

Same thing if a joke isn't funny - they might get a groan or I'll give them a puzzled look if a joke isn't funny. I'll laugh only when I think it is.

Some jobs might require some fake friendliness but I think you can be polite without faking niceness.
I understand your point but I don't plan on developping any friendship or any sort of relationship with these people so I don't see the harm of not being honest. They give the cold shoulder to one my coworker because (as they put it) "she's not as engaged as I am". Why go through that hassle when I can just be fake at work and then complain about them later to my husband!
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Old 03-02-2011, 09:23 PM
 
Location: Hawaii
1,589 posts, read 2,201,812 times
Reputation: 2141
Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute View Post
I can never do those things. I have never once given someone a compliment on clothes or hairstyles if I didn't mean it, especially if they're hideous - why say anything at all? Silence is golden.

Same thing if a joke isn't funny - they might get a groan or I'll give them a puzzled look if a joke isn't funny. I'll laugh only when I think it is.

Some jobs might require some fake friendliness but I think you can be polite without faking niceness.

I compliment people all the time when I can see that they have made a special effort, whether it's their hair, clothing, or their brand new kitchen remodel. Just because their sense of style may not match my own doesn't mean they won't appreciate a kind word.

My husband always tells me I look beautiful, even when I am bloated, or I have a red runny nose and frizzy hair. I love him for that.

There's nothing wrong with being "fake" nice. I wish there was more of it in the world, rather than less, in my opinion.
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Old 03-02-2011, 09:25 PM
 
3,756 posts, read 8,075,599 times
Reputation: 1061
Quote:
Originally Posted by NuShooz View Post
Some people are just extremely nice and are always being sweet, and then you have some people who pretend to be nice/charming and aren't that nice. How do you tell the difference?

Trust your gut, it will never let you down.
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Old 03-02-2011, 09:30 PM
 
20,979 posts, read 15,182,914 times
Reputation: 10270
People can see through a bs artist a mile away.

Being in sales, you can only be sincere.

When a person has a nice home, I tell them.

When they don't, I don't say anything.

We've all met phonies.

Much of my success is due to being sincere.
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Old 03-03-2011, 12:24 AM
 
Location: state of procrastination
3,487 posts, read 5,981,391 times
Reputation: 2876
I think I'm a combo of fake and real nice. While I don't like interacting with people, I feel compelled to be helpful and friendly, sometimes going to extremes to help people out just because I can. I dunno if people think I'm really nice or fakely nice. But I certainly find a lot of things to dislike about humanity in general, and individuals as well. I think I'm kind of a mean, critical person underneath but I can't really act mean unless people have really offended me. The only difference is that I don't care if people hate me... that is fine... so I have no reason to be fake other than the fact that I think it would be mean not to be at least cordial and helpful.
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Old 03-03-2011, 07:28 AM
 
Location: Westchester County
1,096 posts, read 1,314,367 times
Reputation: 962
In today's society (it seems) as though we are placed in situations where we have to be "nice" to people we would otherwise have NOTHING to do with. Speaking your mind is a dream, because when we let our true feelings fly be it with family, friends, co-workers, or strangers on the street we face reactions ranging from admonishment all the way up to legal action.
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Old 03-03-2011, 08:45 AM
 
7,508 posts, read 3,514,063 times
Reputation: 3880
Quote:
Originally Posted by miyu View Post
I think I'm a combo of fake and real nice. While I don't like interacting with people, I feel compelled to be helpful and friendly, sometimes going to extremes to help people out just because I can. I dunno if people think I'm really nice or fakely nice. But I certainly find a lot of things to dislike about humanity in general, and individuals as well. I think I'm kind of a mean, critical person underneath but I can't really act mean unless people have really offended me. The only difference is that I don't care if people hate me... that is fine... so I have no reason to be fake other than the fact that I think it would be mean not to be at least cordial and helpful.
IMO, I THINK everyone has a combo of fake and real nice. I know I can detect my friend's fake nice within a second when she talks to someone who finds sort of annoying. She's doesn't always give off that fake nice, but I can tell when she does. I find myself that way sometimes. My intention isn't really to gossip or anything like that, but I think it's more of I-don't-want-to-hurt-your-feelings even though I might find you a bit annoying. I think I am a nice person overall, but I can be, as you said to yourself, a very mean and critical person underneath. However, most of the time I come off as who I really am (no fakeness or anything like that), but I try to be very careful with who I am talking to and how much I am revealing my true self.
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