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Old 03-03-2011, 10:16 AM
 
Location: El Paso, TX
3,261 posts, read 3,673,843 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NuShooz View Post
Some people are just extremely nice and are always being sweet, and then you have some people who pretend to be nice/charming and aren't that nice. How do you tell the difference?
To me is the smile. Generally people cannot fake a smile unless someone is trained to do so or really good compulsive liers, take care.
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Old 03-03-2011, 10:44 AM
 
Location: Türkiye
499 posts, read 730,742 times
Reputation: 379
if somebody is really sincere, then he/she must be sincere enough to be brave in his/her relationships. Because sincere people can't hide their anger or don't pamper you. I be very nice to whom i like, but also i don't afraid to show my anger to them or to tell the truth. And everybody says that i'm too natural. Some people are afraid to say negative things(your new hair style doesn't fit you etc.) because they want to be seen like they're angel and when it comes to get what they want, they show their real faces. Nobody can be sweet all the time,because nobody is angel. If you want to trust somebody, choose the ones who are not afraid to say the bitter truth
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Old 03-03-2011, 10:57 AM
 
Location: Vancouver, BC
547 posts, read 1,343,626 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheEconomist View Post
Fake nice takes energy. You can see it being spent holding up the fake smiles.
I think it's the opposite. People who are really nice are nice even if it means sacrificing their own time and energy. Fake nice people are only nice when it's easy, when it gets difficult, they reveal their true nature.
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Old 07-07-2012, 07:36 AM
 
2 posts, read 3,097 times
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Why should we adjust who we are around other people to accomidate them? Yes, there is a respect level that we shouldadjust, for instance I would not swear around an older religious person out of respect for their thoughts and beliefs. I feel no metter what, if you cannot be the same around everyone than you are FAKE! I believe that insecurities cause fake in some lives and being fake definately ruins trust with me! I am a quiet person who also has insecurities, but i will never adjust me to accomidate others personalities just for the sake of calling them friend. Iif they cannot accept me for me, then that is on them, because i am a very giving and loyalperson who would give the shirt off my back to help others. I especially try to help the less fortunate.
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Old 07-07-2012, 07:56 AM
 
Location: Oxford, England
13,036 posts, read 21,181,205 times
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Most of the time I think most of us have a "fake radar" , I know I sometimes meet people who appear all charm and smiles but somehow they make you bristle and you have no idea why until later. Some people emit a natural positive niceness which is plain to see and you immediately trust them.

Sometimes unfortunately the radar is either off or the person is simply too good at deception and you end up finding the hard way. I think the only way to find out what someone truly is like in life is when something bad happens and you see a different person emerge in front of you. You see the mask slip when you need someone's help and they need to make an effort to help. A really nice person will help you no matter what. And by that time it is essentially too late if you have backed the wrong horse.

I am a naturally cynical person but always give people the benefit of the doubt nonetheless. As long as I have no emotional involvement I can risk being taken for a ride. I suppose I prefer to see the best in people and give them the chance to prove me wrong but at the same time I am also expecting the worse

The world is full of fake people. Human beings are very good at getting what they want and this usually means being someone you are not to ingratiate yourself.

If you really want to know what someone is like ask them to do something above and beyond the call of duty. It is the only way sadly IMO.

Personally I do not have many friends nor do I want many. I have plenty of friendly acquaintances and will have a good time socially with them but friends are like lovers. A real good one is a precious commodity and you often need a storm to find out the truth. I prefer to have few friends but for them to be genuine and caring ones.

Unfortunately many people are desperate to be liked and loved by everyone and are not very discerning when it comes to people. Hope for the best and expect the worse would be my motto I suppose.
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Old 07-07-2012, 08:56 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,683 posts, read 41,746,771 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AsianRice View Post
IMO, I THINK everyone has a combo of fake and real nice. I know I can detect my friend's fake nice within a second when she talks to someone who finds sort of annoying. She's doesn't always give off that fake nice, but I can tell when she does. I find myself that way sometimes. My intention isn't really to gossip or anything like that, but I think it's more of I-don't-want-to-hurt-your-feelings even though I might find you a bit annoying. I think I am a nice person overall, but I can be, as you said to yourself, a very mean and critical person underneath. However, most of the time I come off as who I really am (no fakeness or anything like that), but I try to be very careful with who I am talking to and how much I am revealing my true self.
I agree, I'm not a big one for false flattery, but I automatically tend to be on a 'front' with people, and I treat people nicely, even if they're not my favourite person, not because I'm faking liking them, but because I believe everyone deserves basic respect. I've never been into buttering up people or pretending to like them to get something, though, it's never been my style. I think I could actually be a good liar (I've pretty much never got caught out the few times I have lied, ever since I was a kid, but maybe it's a numbers game too) although when my sense of 'integrity' kicks in I just can't.

It's not always easy to tell how much a person a faking it, some experienced fakers can actually make themselves feel the emotions temporarily (as an actor thinks sad thoughts to make them cry) but there are subtle clues, which I won't go into.
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Old 07-07-2012, 09:02 AM
 
12,456 posts, read 15,449,934 times
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I echo what others have said about it coming down to actions and consistency.
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Old 07-07-2012, 10:14 AM
 
2 posts, read 3,097 times
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Actions do speak much louder than words with me!
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Old 07-07-2012, 10:16 AM
 
12,456 posts, read 15,449,934 times
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You feel the difference.
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Old 07-07-2012, 10:29 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,683 posts, read 41,746,771 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth View Post
You feel the difference.
If you're really perceptive, but feelings often deceive, especially to those who aren't.
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