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One instance or example is that today women are much more free to pursue a sex life that doesn't involve marriage than they used to be. This little fact by itself changes the playing field and the rules of dating a bit IMO.
[quote]
I definately feel like the dating scene is changed, I am in my 20s and feel like I can wear the pants when it comes to dating, who I go out with, what we do or don't do sexually...it's actually nice
A lot of my older cousins and friends that are already married say they wish they were able to have my confidence when they were single.
You mean all men don't cheat? Damn, I thought I was just naive!
From experience, I can tell you that if you "respect" a marriage enough, you won't cheat! The respect in this contex means to me that you are in it for the long haul and that you mean what you say - for better, for worse, blah blah blah. You have to start somewhere, so to me when you repeat those vows, that is where it begins. You can either be a person of strong character, or not. Yes, today's culture is, go for it! So are there any good people left from the old school? Okay, so let me ask this? Is cheating a mistake? Or is it an addiction? What is it exactly?
And that's a fine way to define "respect".... Again though, maybe not everyone would agree with your assessment (though I, for one, do)...
As far as what cheating is??? I suppose it can be either one. A large part of me is of the opinion that if a person gets caught it's a "mistake", but up until then it's an "addiction". Though I'm sure that's not true for every man in the world....
I guess we're just gonna keep butting heads a bit here because I think you're oversimplifying things. "Respect" isn't just some simple word that you can throw out there and say "if you have that everything else falls into place". It doesn't work that way and people have different ideas of what "RESPECT" entails. One can actually be VERY respectful and be completely devoid of any morals (as you define them) if they play it right.
I also think that having a fling for the sake of having a fling doesn't at all mean a person has no respect for one's self. Having a "fling" doesn't necessarily mean a person doesn't respect themselves. More often it might mean that they don't respect the person they had the "fling" with, but even then that isn't always the case.
I realize that you believe that I'm just warped because of over-active hormones that will eventually settle down and then and only then will I see what you're saying. However, when I thought about it more I realized that this also means that you were raised in a different era than I was all together and that societies' mores have changed in that span somewhat....
One instance or example is that today women are much more free to pursue a sex life that doesn't involve marriage than they used to be. This little fact by itself changes the playing field and the rules of dating a bit IMO.
My main point is that a simple catch-word like "RESPECT" is not all-encompassing to mean everything you seem to think it means. It means different things to different people and yes, many people don't have any respect at all for anyone..... But I think you're trying to drape that blanket over a much wider group of people than it actually covers..
Butting heads??? That's your choice NOT mine.
You can take away whatever you please with my comments.
Sounds like I may have hit a nerve.
I highly doubt I am oversimplifying the word respect.
As much as YOU would like to think that is the case. You're wrong.
But if that's your interpretation of the topic at hand...so be it.
I know your pattern. You have a very odd way of assuming things.
But what it comes down to in the virtual world..is you have your opinion
and I have mine.
With that said, I don't know you and I do not appreciate your assumptions directed towards me.
Don't tell me what I'm thinking. You have no clue....lol
All I meant by that was "disagree". And it's not my "choice" that we disagree. We do disagree. Sorry.
Quote:
Originally Posted by citybythebay
You can take away whatever you please with my comments.
Sounds like I may have hit a nerve.
No, not at all. I think you're taking your definition of "RESPECT" and trying to turn it into some panacea that will cure the ills of all relationships and I'm simply here to say that isn't necessarily true. Not sure where or how you thought you "hit a nerve".... I didn't realize that disagreeing was a problem. Or did you think that your response warranted no disagreement???
Quote:
Originally Posted by citybythebay
I highly doubt I am oversimplifying the word respect.
As much as YOU would like to think that is the case. You're wrong.
I'm going to take a guess that in your eyes you've been "disrespected" by someone in the last five years who had NO clue that they did so and didn't intend to.... That alone would prove my point that everyone has a different definition of "RESPECT" and what it means to them. I guess I didn't mean you're "over-simplifying" it as much as applying your own personal definition to "RESPECT" and assuming everyone else's definition is the same. It's a woman/man thing to some extent and trying to throw your definition across the aisle isn't going to work in many cases. I'm not trying to be belligerent. Just explaining a different perspective.
Quote:
Originally Posted by citybythebay
But if that's your interpretation of the topic at hand...so be it. I know your pattern. You have a very odd way of assuming things.
But what it comes down to in the virtual world..is you have your opinion
and I have mine.
Actually I'm simply using the words you've chosen. Perhaps you'd like to rephrase it???
Quote:
Originally Posted by citybythebay
With that said, I don't know you and I do not appreciate your assumptions directed towards me.
Don't tell me what I'm thinking. You have no clue....lol
Tell me where I made an unfounded statement about what you're thinking and I'll gladly retract it and apologize. I was responding to what you wrote and I gotta be honest. If I can't respond to that it will be tough to hold any sort of discourse.
You earlier made a statement regarding how "maturity" will straighten out my point of view (paraphrasing a bit from a different thread). All I was saying is that after thinking about it I think it may be more a generational issue than a maturity one. Either way, beyond that I was simply responding to your typed words and NEVER put words in your mouth or assumed I knew what you were thinking.
I do find it funny, however, that you get upset over thinking I was assuming things about you and then you go and tell me that you "know my pattern" (I bolded it above) as though you know me.. A little pot meet kettle there??? I was/am fine. I thought we were having a casual disagreement. "Butting heads" was simply a phrase used to denote that fact.
All I meant by that was "disagree". And it's not my "choice" that we disagree. We do disagree. Sorry.
No, not at all. I think you're taking your definition of "RESPECT" and trying to turn it into some panacea that will cure the ills of all relationships and I'm simply here to say that isn't necessarily true. Not sure where or how you thought you "hit a nerve".... I didn't realize that disagreeing was a problem. Or did you think that your response warranted no disagreement???
I'm going to take a guess that in your eyes you've been "disrespected" by someone in the last five years who had NO clue that they did so and didn't intend to.... That alone would prove my point that everyone has a different definition of "RESPECT" and what it means to them. I guess I didn't mean you're "over-simplifying" it as much as applying your own personal definition to "RESPECT" and assuming everyone else's definition is the same. It's a woman/man thing to some extent and trying to throw your definition across the aisle isn't going to work in many cases. I'm not trying to be belligerent. Just explaining a different perspective.
Actually I'm simply using the words you've chosen. Perhaps you'd like to rephrase it???
Tell me where I made an unfounded statement about what you're thinking and I'll gladly retract it and apologize. I was responding to what you wrote and I gotta be honest. If I can't respond to that it will be tough to hold any sort of discourse.
You earlier made a statement regarding how "maturity" will straighten out my point of view (paraphrasing a bit). All I was saying is that after thinking about it I think it may be more a generational issue than a maturity one. Either way, beyond that I was simply responding to your typed words and NEVER put words in your mouth or assumed I knew what you were thinking.
I do find it funny, however, that you get upset over thinking I was assuming things about you and then you go and tell me that you "know my pattern" (I bolded it above) as though you know me.. A little pot meet kettle there??? I was/am fine. I thought we were having a casual disagreement. "Butting heads" was simply a phrase used to denote that fact.
Your defense is transparent.
Sweetheart, I am FAR from being upset. But I LOVE how people
make that assumption too, without voice inflection. Ha.
You must be getting your jollys thinking I am...THAT I find hilarious!
Your mincing of words is not working with me.
You can STOP anytime now.
Better yet...there will be no need for you to respond back to this,
and please don't.
Would be nice if you could mandate that I don't respond, wouldn't it??? Anyway, last I checked bolding and underlining was meant as a form of emphasis so you appeared to be a bit perturbed by my statement. Sorry for the misinterpretation of your sporadic (and apparrently meaningless) use of emphasis..... I really don't know what the problem is, other than you took exception to someone disagreeing with you.
Jollies??? C'mon, I'm just passing time at work and am doing the same thing you're doing by offering my opinion on a subject that was brought up.
Are there any guy and women for that matter, still value the "old school" When women enjoyed being a woman? I know that I for one, love it. I like my car door opened. I love to wear a nice dress for dinner and sip wine. I like being treated with respect. Oops, I would rather not use that word, let me try again. I like being treated like I'm worth something instead of a conquer. But that's just me.
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