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There will always be wolves in sheep's clothing---claiming morality only to do the exact opposite after they have earned your trust through moral behavior. Example: I dated a guy for 2.5 years. We did not have sex early on, and in fact, decided to abstain from sex until we married because that is what we were working towards. We are not young---both in our mid to late 30's. Long story short, he pulled out of the wedding AFTER I quit my job and packed up my apartment on the promise of marriage and moving to his state. Were there any warning signs? Not really. Did I do everything *right?* Yes. Did he have *respect* for me? It appeared so. Was this a sign of cold feet? No. Was I comfortable marrying a man who would leave me in such a situation and then have the nerve to tell me "I am certain you can get a job. If you tell any prospective employer that your fiance left you, they will take pity on you." No way. All bets off! It isn't always the woman who is giving sex too freely, giving him all the wifely goodies before she has the title, etc. I was very smart about everything, or so I thought and was still duped. It's just a crap shoot--even when you are careful and wise.
(a). Respect is earned, not freely and equally given without reason. This applies to men and women, friendships and relationships. In my experience, women do not respect all men by default, and I don't think it is reasonable for me to respect all women by default, either.
(b). I can't differentiate between the "tons of women just wanting sex" and the ones who want serious relationships - especially since this is not a constant. A woman can decide that she just wants to sleep with Guy X, but she would want a relationship with Guy Y.
Not to mention, whether someone wants casual sex or relationship is frequently revealed after sex, not before. Since I'm an adult male, and sex is a priority for me, you're basically suggesting that I not have sex. Which brings us full circle: I'm a man, and I'm not going to apologize for the way I was made.
I don't think you have to respect all women just use common sense.
"I can't differentiate between the "tons of women just wanting sex" and the ones who want serious relationships "-
I don't think the women can either, thats why it's all so confusing.
If you take girl X home and have sex and girl X wanted a relationship but finds out thats not what you wanted then maybe next time she will not be eager to go home with the next guy.
Location: Lived Large in Parsippany NJ - Lived Larger in Livingston, NJ -- Now Living Huge in Bethlehem PA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by still hangin
Just a question. I've been married for 5 years (second marriage) and my husband cheated on me one year after we were married and stayed in that relationship for a year. I found out, we were separated for a year and now reconciling. Here's my question. When I went through my first divorce and started dating, I felt as though it was all about if they were going to get me in bed. They weren't looking for a real relationship, they were looking for sex. I believe that's one of the reasons that I reconciled is because I don't want to be back in that world. Do men typically date women for a potential roll in the hay, or are they really looking for a deeper relationship? Be honest.
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Hmmm I read somewhere that men think about sex 365 times a minute or so - and also marriage is the cheapest way to get laid as some guys think.
Now my point is - first I know it is wrong to cheat but a friend of mine had this ideology = lets say you have two cars a BMW(wife) and a Hyundai(mistress). The Hyundai(mistress) becomes a whoopty which you drive around everyday and just put miles on.
The BMW(wife) is only driven once or twice a week so it always stays new and well maintained.
Now my point is - first I know it is wrong to cheat but a friend of mine had this ideology = lets say you have two cars a BMW(wife) and a Hyundai(mistress). The Hyundai(mistress) becomes a whoopty which you drive around everyday and just put miles on.
The BMW(wife) is only driven once or twice a week so it always stays new and well maintained
Well, I hope you don't take your friends advise. That analogy is ridiculous!
I am not a BMW, I am a human being with real emotions. You can't just take me out a few times and say look what I have, keep me shined and take me out when you want to play with me. I think you've made my point. Why do men treat woman as some kind of toy? I'll agree, maybe a few women here and there do the same thing, but statistically, men behave much worse than women. If any male on this board ever considered or is considering an affair, please, please, please PM me. Let me help you keep from making the biggest mistake not only in your life, but everyone else that you care for and love. It's devastating! And I mean that from the bottom of my broken heart!
Hmmm I read somewhere that men think about sex 365 times a minute or so - and also marriage is the cheapest way to get laid as some guys think.
Now my point is - first I know it is wrong to cheat but a friend of mine had this ideology = lets say you have two cars a BMW(wife) and a Hyundai(mistress). The Hyundai(mistress) becomes a whoopty which you drive around everyday and just put miles on.
The BMW(wife) is only driven once or twice a week so it always stays new and well maintained.
Just some thoughts to ponder on .... !!!!
First off anybody who thinks getting married is the cheapest way to get laid has never been married.
The differance between cars and women are if you don't drive a car it's just going to set there, the wife on the otherhand will find a new driver and make you pay for it.
I can completely agree with your statements, and I'm glad we've reached some sort of understanding .
Amazing when women actually answer a question instead of being stand-offish when we ask for clarification that we actually can come to some sort of understanding, eh??
Somehow I don't think common sense is the best path to take here.
Common sense tells me to try and have sex with as many women as is physiologically possible. Common sense is the id.
What does common sense tell you to do?
Why is it that women outwardly acknowledge and are aware that men and women simply think differently in matters of relationships and then wonder why ..........."it's simple..... 'RESPECT'"....... doesn't make sense in and of itself to us and wish to get angry and debate about how obtuse we're being???
Somehow I don't think common sense is the best path to take here.
Common sense tells me to try and have sex with as many women as is physiologically possible. Common sense is the id.
What does common sense tell you to do?
Your listening to the wrong head dude.
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