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Old 02-06-2011, 12:47 AM
 
199 posts, read 407,570 times
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I have 2 close female friends who are very prude so I am sure there are a lot of other woman like that.

Well anyways last night I met this chick at a little get together/small-party. She was being very flirtatious then but she was drunk I was even drunker. Well anyways I called her we talked for a few and we have been texting all day. I been trying to flirt but her replies are confusing me. She replies either neutral or says something like lol and changes the topic.

Regardless of this situation but just generally speaking, how do you assess the difference between someone who is prude versus someone who just is not interested when they don't make it clear?
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Old 02-06-2011, 12:54 AM
 
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
10,716 posts, read 30,732,621 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ItWasWritten View Post
I have 2 close female friends who are very prude so I am sure there are a lot of other woman like that.

Well anyways last night I met this chick at a little get together/small-party. She was being very flirtatious then but she was drunk I was even drunker. Well anyways I called her we talked for a few and we have been texting all day. I been trying to flirt but her replies are confusing me. She replies either neutral or says something like lol and changes the topic.

Regardless of this situation but just generally speaking, how do you assess the difference between someone who is prude versus someone who just is not interested when they don't make it clear?
When you say she changes the topic, is she only changing the topic on things like talking about intimacy?? If so then I would think that maybe she does have issues talking about that at this stage in a relationship.

If she continues to text you then it seems she might be interested. Ask her out and see where things go. I assume you are not also a prude, if it turns out she is prudish, then she might not have enough in common for you guys to have a relationship.

If in person she changes the subject away from a topic like that, I would just ask her if you had made her uncomfortable by bringing it up. If so then you will have your answer.

I tend to be a direct person. You of course might not be and depending on what kind of person she is, she might not be expecting such a direct statement.
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Old 02-06-2011, 01:15 AM
 
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She finally said something kinda flirty lol shes just shy about those type of things. I can tell shes interested but she is VERY subtle with how she shows it. It makes things confusing when trying to interact with someone who is extremely shy of flirtatious situations.
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Old 02-06-2011, 01:19 AM
 
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
10,716 posts, read 30,732,621 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ItWasWritten View Post
She finally said something kinda flirty lol shes just shy about those type of things. I can tell shes interested but she is VERY subtle with how she shows it. It makes things confusing when trying to interact with someone who is extremely shy of flirtatious situations.
Yea I can imagine it would be. Give her some time, she might open up to you and not be prude but just not fast to be so open. Personally I would have a problem with someone who could not let go and open up to me, someone who remained a prude. I am SO not that way.
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Old 02-06-2011, 01:31 AM
 
Location: Columbia, California
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Originally Posted by ItWasWritten View Post
,,,,She was being very flirtatious then but she was drunk I was even drunker. ,,,
,,She replies either neutral or says something like lol and changes the topic.
She may not remember, or worse yet she does remember.
You often have to start over on these cases. Or just make the move when they are too drunk to resist.
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Old 02-06-2011, 01:48 AM
 
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Have you considered that she might be trying to spare your feelings? Changes the topic from what? Why does this make her a prude? One might inference from your post that the nature of your texting is something she is not willling to talk about while sober, at least with you. I do not mean this as an insult but does it seem possible that while drunk she said things that sober she might not be as willing to talk about? Or that drunk saw you in a different light? Doesnt mean you're not worthy but beer goggles can lead to misunderstandings. See where I'm going? IMO try asking her straight out what her thoughts are as regards you. Then you will know where you stand.

Edit for spelling. Self improvement post divorce.
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Old 02-06-2011, 06:32 AM
 
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Maybe you're coming on too strong for her style? I'm a little confused by your word choice in "prude"... are these comments you're making to her that she's ignoring sexual in nature? I would recommend to tone it down a bit if you're really interested in this girl. Sure, there are some women who will respond to having sexual comments tossed at them from the get-go, but the majority that I know would consider that something of a turn-off. I think it's more common for men to make overt sexual jokes and comments with each other (and not mean anything by it), while females would only say that sort of thing around people they were truly comfortable with and could predict their reaction.

I would recommend that if you are interested in her, you ask her on a date. IMHO texting has not always been a helpful addition to dating. Too much can be misconstrued, too little time for mystery and intrigue to develop and in the end, it's hard to tell tone and personality from a few letters. If you like her, ask her out to dinner and talk to her sober there. The worst she can say is no, and if she really doesn't like you, it's not as if a few extra days were going to turn a "no" into a "yes"... right?
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Old 02-06-2011, 06:54 AM
 
Location: In my skin
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A) She was drunk and found herself not as interested the next day

B) it would depend on how you are flirting. If you're talking intimacy this early on, it may put her off. It doesn't make her a prude, it really just means you are coming on too strong for her. If you're just flirting and showing simple interest, refer to A.
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Old 02-06-2011, 11:50 AM
 
199 posts, read 407,570 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crabman1 View Post
Have you considered that she might be trying to spare your feelings? Changes the topic from what? Why does this make her a prude? One might inference from your post that the nature of your texting is something she is not willling to talk about while sober, at least with you. I do not mean this as an insult but does it seem possible that while drunk she said things that sober she might not be as willing to talk about? Or that drunk saw you in a different light? Doesnt mean you're not worthy but beer goggles can lead to misunderstandings. See where I'm going? IMO try asking her straight out what her thoughts are as regards you. Then you will know where you stand.

Edit for spelling. Self improvement post divorce.
Honestly a lot of women who are not interested will show it in one way or another. As soon as they do I respect that because I know that it annoys them when a guy keeps on insisting.

Quote:
Maybe you're coming on too strong for her style? I'm a little confused by your word choice in "prude"... are these comments you're making to her that she's ignoring sexual in nature? I would recommend to tone it down a bit if you're really interested in this girl. Sure, there are some women who will respond to having sexual comments tossed at them from the get-go, but the majority that I know would consider that something of a turn-off. I think it's more common for men to make overt sexual jokes and comments with each other (and not mean anything by it), while females would only say that sort of thing around people they were truly comfortable with and could predict their reaction.
I wasn't being sexual at all, I am not gonna lie if I felt a trashy vibe from her I would have been but I can tell shes a serious nice girl. I was just telling her simple things like that I think shes cute but she is even shy about that she said it made her blush. She showed obvious signs that she likes talking to me so that's a plus. And what is so confusing about using the word prude? It just means a person who is very shy to flirt etc
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Old 02-06-2011, 12:13 PM
 
Location: in your dreams
10,893 posts, read 12,807,435 times
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Originally Posted by ItWasWritten View Post
And what is so confusing about using the word prude? It just means a person who is very shy to flirt etc
Really?!

The word prude always makes me think of some kind of uptight librarian lady wearing a button up wool sweater....
I'm not sure why...lol :/
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