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Thank you for your objective (non-judgmental) thoughts on the matter, and for not trying to bash me.
In response, I would respectfully point out though, that just for example, in the past, people used to get married at 18, all the time, correct? I would wager that they felt they knew what love was. How is what I have with her, fundamentally any different from that sort of thing?
Those people had spent time together, real time in person, not just passing love letters back and forth. I'm sure you have heard the saying, "Actions speak louder than words," right? All you have right now are words and no concrete actions. Here is a short list of things you cannot know about a person until you physically meet and witness her behavior:
How does she treat other people in your presence? Is she condescending or rude?
How does she treat others when she does not know you are watching?
Is she jealous of or hostile toward other women? Does she flirt with men?
How does she get along with your family and friends? Do they like her? Does she like them?
How does she dress and carry herself? Are you embarrassed or proud to be with her?
Does she keep people waiting? Is she habitually late?
Does she tend to people when they are hurt or ill, or does she find sickness repulsive?
Is she good with money, or is she a spendthrift?
If something bad happens--for example, you are laid off from work--how does she react? Does she stand by you and encourage you?
Does she sulk when she does not get her way?
Does she enjoy being around you? Does she smile a lot and seem warm and happy? Or does she pull away from you and seem to dislike being touched?
Actions are more important than words, and very little of what I listed above can be conveyed in words and promises.
Last edited by JustJulia; 02-07-2011 at 08:32 AM..
Thank you for your objective (non-judgmental) thoughts on the matter, and for not trying to bash me.
In response, I would respectfully point out though, that just for example, in the past, people used to get married at 18, all the time, correct? I would wager that they felt they knew what love was. How is what I have with her, fundamentally any different from that sort of thing?
1. As has been said many times both on this thread and the other, nobody is bashing you or sees you as evil.
2. In days of yore the life expectancy was infinitely shorter than it is now and one didn't have long distance internet relationships ..
Quote:
Originally Posted by Knight2009
By all means, ask her if she believes it is a "fantasy", if you truly think of this as one.
As far as her age, as I have already mentioned, I am not going to pursue anything with someone, who is underage, if that turns out to be the case. Period.
She didn't create these threads, you did. You are receiving responses and nobody has any insight at all into what she thinks other than what you divulge, i.e. hearsay.
I still can't fathom for the life of me why you just don't get on a bus or a train and go meet her. Until you do that, this is all a bit of a waste of time based purely on fantasy, illusion, smoke and mirrors. Good luck.
no big deal right? she's legal right? if she were my daughter... The other day on here i jokingly said i would shoot a guy if i caught him messing with my wife. but if a 30 or 30+ y/o guy was messing with my 18 y/o daughter???... it wouldn't happen more than once that's for sure. i'm not saying i'd shoot him but it wouldn't happen twice.
You do know that I am fully celibate, right? Which is *not* going to change, until specifically *after* a wedding.
If as I said several times now, I'm not pursuing her for physical reasons, where's the harm, and what's so bad about it? I'm *not* looking to "corrupt" her...why can't you understand that?
By all means, ask her if she believes it is a "fantasy", if you truly think of this as one.
As far as her age, as I have already mentioned, I am not going to pursue anything with someone, who is underage, if that turns out to be the case. Period.
Well, what are you waiting for to verify it? I suspect you do not want to know the truth. It can be very easy to do this. You say she is in school. There will be school ID and records. You could even request her to send you a copy of her birth certificate.
As it is you are pursuing a potential underage girl. So find out before investing anymore nonsense in this relationship.
Have you asked her when is a good time for you to see her? She is in love with you right?
Yes and yes, to the above questions.
She has said, many, many times, in no uncertain and very open terms, that she loves me. She says it like 15 times or more a day, which I lvoe hearing, each and every time, like the first!
Well, what are you waiting for to verify it? I suspect you do not want to know the truth. It can be very easy to do this. You say she is in school. There will be school ID and records. You could even request her to send you a copy of her birth certificate.
As it is you are pursuing a potential underage girl. So find out before investing anymore nonsense in this relationship.
I plan to do, exactly that (bolded part above) -- thanks for the helpful suggestions and possible methods of definitely ascertaining her age.
All excellent points JustJulia, and all of which I will most certainly observe, during a planned visit to her (and only visiting her if she is of legal age...if not; it's not gonna happen).
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia
Those people had spent time together, real time in person, not just passing love letters back and forth. I'm sure you have heard the saying, "Actions speak louder than words," right? All you have right now are words and no concrete actions. Here is a short list of things you cannot know about a person until you physically meet and witness her behavior:
How does she treat other people in your presence? Is she condescending or rude?
How does she treat others when she does not know you are watching?
Is she jealous of or hostile toward other women? Does she flirt with men?
How does she get along with your family and friends? Do they like her? Does she like them?
How does she dress and carry herself? Are you embarrassed or proud to be with her?
Does she keep people waiting? Is she habitually late?
Does she tend to people when they are hurt or in ill, or does she find sickness repulsive?
Is she good with money, or is she a spendthrift?
If something bad happens--for example, you are laid off from work--how does she react? Does she stand by you and encourage you?
Does she sulk when she does not get her way?
Does she enjoy being around you? Does she smile a lot and seem warm and happy? Or does she pull away from you and seem to dislike being touched?
Actions are more important than words, and very little of what I listed above can be conveyed in words and promises.
What did she say about when the two of you can meet up?
She is happy to meet me...I just have to have enough travel funds and vacation time saved up, neither of which I have enough of at the moment, to visit her at present.
You keep harping on the comments of a very few posters who've expressed concern that she may be underage and continue to ignore the question of why you don't just go and meet her. I really don't think that anyone really cares about your virginal state and your personal views on celibacy. Whether or not you view this thread as being different from your other is rather irrelevant since the same questions and the same lack of responses are shared on both.
Please see my response to Saberai.
As far as my celibacy, I was only pointing that out, just so ppl can know that my intentions with her are 100% honorable and pure.
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I would wager that they felt they knew what love was. How is what I have with her, fundamentally any different from that sort of thing?
