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I've been seeing this guy for just several weeks, everything has been fine and we see each other almost every other day. He said he wants a serious exclusive relationship and I told him I need more time (and I explained it's not like I want to date other guys, I just want to see if we're compatible before I make a decision).
So today when we were talking on the phone, I told him I'm sick and my body temp is high. He first said "oh I wish I could make you feel better." Then I asked "can you come over here for a little bit and bring me some medicine?" He responded:" but I don't want to get sick. and I told my friends I'm going to hang out with them." Then I had to walk in the cold myself to go to the drug store....
Is it unreasonable for me to be upset with his reaction? Now I'm more scared of entering into a relationship with him, because I don't expect my bf to run away when I need him
Yes it's unreasonable and here's why. You don't want to be exclusive with him because you're waiting to see if your compatible enough which is good but .... you then want all the perks that go along with an exclusive relationship, i.e., him going to the drug store for you and taking care of you. You can't have it both ways.
He could have at least put it at the front door - if he's afraid of getting sick. BTW - im sure he would sleep with you sick or not. I digress - - - if he knew what not bringing the medicine meant - the walk in the cold - - then reconsider - you should at least expect from a boyfriend what you would from a friend w/o benefits.
I wont sleep with my wife when she's sick. I'll have sex with her but then I get outta there asap.
I've been seeing this guy for just several weeks, everything has been fine and we see each other almost every other day. He said he wants a serious exclusive relationship and I told him I need more time (and I explained it's not like I want to date other guys, I just want to see if we're compatible before I make a decision).
So today when we were talking on the phone, I told him I'm sick and my body temp is high. He first said "oh I wish I could make you feel better." Then I asked "can you come over here for a little bit and bring me some medicine?" He responded:" but I don't want to get sick. and I told my friends I'm going to hang out with them." Then I had to walk in the cold myself to go to the drug store....
Is it unreasonable for me to be upset with his reaction? Now I'm more scared of entering into a relationship with him, because I don't expect my bf to run away when I need him
Geesh Louise! Talking about mixed signals! And you ladies wonder why us men cant figure out whether to love you or shoot you out of frustration.
Just so everyone is clear and looking at the same page here are your questions
How old are the two of you?
Did you call him or did he call you for this conversation?
Did you ask him to come over and when he said no, did you specifically ask him if he could at least bring you the cough medicine? (this is quite important)
Did you specifically tell him you would have to walk if he didn't?
How far away does he live from you?
Was he going somewhere with his friends and he would not be the person driving?
Was he just leaving?
Does he have a car?
This all speaks to communication and expecting people to read our minds or what we think may be implied.
I, personally, wouldn't change my stance on my post with this information and would add between the odd phone calls when you are out and your searching him and confronting him you both have some major trust and security issues you need to sort out before either of you could ever have a healthy relationship with anyone.
I've been seeing this guy for just several weeks, everything has been fine and we see each other almost every other day. He said he wants a serious exclusive relationship and I told him I need more time (and I explained it's not like I want to date other guys, I just want to see if we're compatible before I make a decision).
So today when we were talking on the phone, I told him I'm sick and my body temp is high. He first said "oh I wish I could make you feel better." Then I asked "can you come over here for a little bit and bring me some medicine?" He responded:" but I don't want to get sick. and I told my friends I'm going to hang out with them." Then I had to walk in the cold myself to go to the drug store....
Is it unreasonable for me to be upset with his reaction? Now I'm more scared of entering into a relationship with him, because I don't expect my bf to run away when I need him
Absolutely you are unreasonable. You won't enter a committed relationship with the guy and you think you get to dictate what he does with his time? What makes you think you get to dictate what he does even if you are together. If you're sick, then sure there's a part of me that would want to stay and take care of you. But, like this guy, if I already made plans with friends then you're on your own for a few hours, especially if I had asked you to be my girlfriend and you said no.
Absolutely you are unreasonable. You won't enter a committed relationship with the guy and you think you get to dictate what he does with his time? What makes you think you get to dictate what he does even if you are together. If you're sick, then sure there's a part of me that would want to stay and take care of you. But, like this guy, if I already made plans with friends then you're on your own for a few hours, especially if I had asked you to be my girlfriend and you said no.
Not picking on you, but what part of she just asked him to bring some medicine are people not getting?
I agree he owes nothing to her, especially if she wasn't ready to be in a serious relationship with him. I don't think she had a right to expect him to stay with her all night and risk getting sick himself, but surely a quick trip to the store wasn't too much to ask. Granted, there may have been some specific circumstances that prevented him from going to the pharmacy but come on, there's a Walgreens on every freaking corner. If he cared about her AT ALL, the least he could have done was drop some meds off at her door and then go on his way.
There are very few people that I wouldn't help out that way. If I had plans to hang with my friends, they could wait a few minutes and every single one of my friends would understand.
you been dating for a few weeks, and not seriously. so no, i see nothing wrong with what he did. could he have brought your meds first, then went with his friends, sure that would be the gentlemanly thing to do. but by no means is it required.
Not picking on you, but what part of she just asked him to bring some medicine are people not getting?
I agree he owes nothing to her, especially if she wasn't ready to be in a serious relationship with him. I don't think she had a right to expect him to stay with her all night and risk getting sick himself, but surely a quick trip to the store wasn't too much to ask. Granted, there may have been some specific circumstances that prevented him from going to the pharmacy but come on, there's a Walgreens on every freaking corner. If he cared about her AT ALL, the least he could have done was drop some meds off at her door and then go on his way.
There are very few people that I wouldn't help out that way. If I had plans to hang with my friends, they could wait a few minutes and every single one of my friends would understand.
When I dated my husband, he lived an hour and a half away from me.
you been dating for a few weeks, and not seriously. so no, i see nothing wrong with what he did. could he have brought your meds first, then went with his friends, sure that would be the gentlemanly thing to do. but by no means is it required.
I agree with this, and that's the only point I'm trying to argue. Maybe I'm arguing the wrong one. LOL
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