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Old 02-10-2011, 09:30 AM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
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What does it mean to take things literally? I view it as taking what is said at "face value" without considering other possible meanings or factors...For instance a child might yell out "I hate you" in anger to Mom...But Mom knows that the child is just angry at the time. She doesn't take what her child says literally or personally in the sense that she believes that her child will "hate her" forever and ever...Although I did see one Mom take a statement like this "very personally" when her daughter "lashed out." This was surprising to me because most Moms know that kids say lots of things when they are angry....It all blows over pretty fast...It seems hard to be in a relationship with people who tend to take things literally most of the time. How do you feel about it? Thanks...
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Old 02-10-2011, 09:38 AM
 
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I think words said in the heat of emotion should always be taken with judgment (grain of salt). That is, does the person display that frame of mind or actions when things are not emotionally charged? If they do not than the words are just noise.

It depends if you can see what the purpose and underlying reasons for why someone is saying what they are saying. Some people are incapable of this and indeed are incapable of laughing at themselves. Big problem for relationships.
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Old 02-10-2011, 09:46 AM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MattB4 View Post
I think words said in the heat of emotion should always be taken with judgment (grain of salt). That is, does the person display that frame of mind or actions when things are not emotionally charged? If they do not than the words are just noise.

It depends if you can see what the purpose and underlying reasons for why someone is saying what they are saying. Some people are incapable of this and indeed are incapable of laughing at themselves. Big problem for relationships.
I agree...It's hard to be around "touchy" and "super sensitive people" who walk around with a lot of hidden insecurities.
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Old 02-10-2011, 09:50 AM
 
Location: Tucson
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CArizona View Post
What does it mean to take things literally?
It doesn't have to happen in the context of arguments and fights only. Some people simply don't pick up on irony, sarcasm, and any number of subtle nuances. They're not necessarily stupid; they're just not very imaginative and quick-thinking perhaps.
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Old 02-10-2011, 09:58 AM
 
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I think people that always take things literally, probably have a difficult life and are probably somewhat clueless about relationships, for the most part.

However, there is much to be said for considering the words prior to speaking or publishing them. It's like putting toothpaste back in the tube...it can't be done. You can't unsay your words. So take care with them.
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Old 02-10-2011, 10:06 AM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
4,166 posts, read 5,101,790 times
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Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
It doesn't have to happen in the context of arguments and fights only. Some people simply don't pick up on irony, sarcasm, and any number of subtle nuances. They're not necessarily stupid; they're just not very imaginative and quick-thinking perhaps.
You're right...It's about more than just anger and arguments. My husband had "cute" and "playful" ways of reminding me that I forgot to do something. He always made me laugh...I laughed at myself for "being scattered" and I laughed at his "cute" and "genius" way of letting me know!
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Old 02-10-2011, 10:19 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
It doesn't have to happen in the context of arguments and fights only. Some people simply don't pick up on irony, sarcasm, and any number of subtle nuances. They're not necessarily stupid; they're just not very imaginative and quick-thinking perhaps.
You're assuming though that sarcasm, is a "good thing"

Me, I try to stay away from it, personally, if only b/c it always has a chance of hurting someone's feelings, even when a person says something sarcastically without any bad intentions.

ETA: some people may be reasonably intelligent, but just bad at reading, interpreting, or displaying, non-verbal language and cues. Doesn't necessarily mean they're "dummies", though.

Last edited by Phoenix2017; 02-10-2011 at 10:24 AM.. Reason: Corrected typos
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Old 02-10-2011, 10:22 AM
 
23,767 posts, read 30,651,726 times
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Originally Posted by Knight2009 View Post
You're assuming though that sarcasm, is a "good thing"

Me, I try to stay away from it, personally, if only b/c it always has a chance of hurting someone's feelnigs, even when a person says something sacarcastically without any bad intentions.
If "sarcastic" could be used as a one-word description of a person, then I'd probably not want to spend much time around that person. But I think a little sarcasm has a place in a healthy sense of humor.
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Old 02-10-2011, 10:38 AM
 
8,444 posts, read 13,064,460 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
However, there is much to be said for considering the words prior to speaking or publishing them. It's like putting toothpaste back in the tube...it can't be done. You can't unsay your words. So take care with them.
This is an excellent point. People say things they don't mean in the heat of the moment all the time. But it still matters that you said it. I knew a woman who was so frustrated with her son that she blurted out to herself "I wish I never had kids." She didn't mean it and her son who was there to hear it probably understood that she didn't mean it. But I'm sure it still hurt.
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Old 02-10-2011, 10:42 AM
 
1,561 posts, read 1,825,691 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
It doesn't have to happen in the context of arguments and fights only. Some people simply don't pick up on irony, sarcasm, and any number of subtle nuances. They're not necessarily stupid; they're just not very imaginative and quick-thinking perhaps.
Good insight. It is also a problem for those that do and fail to recognize the other doesn't. Having the Torch carrying mobs surround the Castle and seek your demise gets old. There is only so many times you can put up with being tar'd, feathered and ridden out on a rail before you give up.
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