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I had a conversation with my friend last night and then I read the cheating thread and it made me think. She met this guy while he was with another woman. The guy was having hard times in his relationship and had almost had it, but not yet. My friend and the guy had a real connection and both felt the same for each other and fell in love quickly. But, it was still cheating on his part and he wasn't ready to leave the other girl, not because he loved her, but of other situations (they had a house where his mother was staying and he wasn't sure what would happen). Six months later, he left the other woman and now 3 years later they are happily together.
My friend was totally into him and was willing to give him a certain amount of time to get his stuff in order and be with her. He never made any promises to her and told her that the decision to wait would be hers. He told her he loved her, but didn't want her to think that he was stringing her along. He said he just needed to get the situation straightened out and he did not know what the outcome would be.
My friend says she hated that he would not leave the girl, or make a promise to her etc, but understood the situation and was willing to wait it out. However, 3 months into the relationship, she went out with some co-workers, they had some drinks and she ended up sleeping with one of them. It was innocent, the guy was married and she admits it was a huge mistake. She says that she did it in a way to retaliate against the guy because he wouldn't leave his situation to be with her. She says that she will never consider to do it again, it just made her feel gross and ashamed.
She has never told the guy. And when he asks her if she was with any other man at any time that they were together, she says no. She feels that she doesn't want to rock the boat for no reason and technically he was sleeping in another woman's bed everynight (although they never had sex). Is this considered cheating?
It's not cheating unless you've mutually agreed to be exclusive. Period.
The girl lying is another matter, but since the guy is almost surely going to take what she says the wrong way, maybe it's just better to spare his feelings.
Yep. Both were cheating on each other while supposedly in love with each other. But since they've been together 3 years, it's all water under the bridge and it their past lives. Time to move on.
But being a friend of this couple, I'm kind of wondering why your first post would be of something that happened 3 years ago and what is it of your concern wondering if your friend cheated on this relationship? She retaliated, which was childish, over him with another woman. Two wrongs don't make it right.
My friend says she hated that he would not leave the girl, or make a promise to her etc, but understood the situation and was willing to wait it out. However, 3 months into the relationship, she went out with some co-workers, they had some drinks and she ended up sleeping with one of them. It was innocent, the guy was married and she admits it was a huge mistake. She says that she did it in a way to retaliate against the guy because he wouldn't leave his situation to be with her. She says that she will never consider to do it again, it just made her feel gross and ashamed.
I guess the caveat is that he asked her to tell him if she was or wanted to be with another person. He just asked her to be honest with him as he was being honest with everything that was happening with him. I think he was, he told her everything about his relationship and what was going on. She didn't tell him because he most certainly would have ended it forever and it was a huge mistake and she didn't want to lose him over that.
Sounds like a Soap Opera. Stay tuned to see who sleeps with who next and who is thought dead but is really living in a Convent for 3 years while they recovered their memory lost due to an unfortunate hot tub accident.
I posted this now, because last night she was saying how sometimes the topic comes up and he asks if she was ever with someone during that time and she feels guilty and hates lying to him, but she won't bare tell him because things will change and there is no reason for it because the relationship is really great now.
I posted this now, because last night she was saying how sometimes the topic comes up and he asks if she was ever with someone during that time and she feels guilty and hates lying to him, but she won't bare tell him because things will change and there is no reason for it because the relationship is really great now.
Well, then, I'm not quite sure then if they are really happy together. Maybe she is but he obviously has doubts about her if he continues to bring it up. Maybe he somehow found out about it and wants her to tell him. Maybe next time he ask again, maybe she should say that she had drinks with a co-worker and leave it at that. That way she is telling a somewhat truth. It was dumb and childish on her part to even cheat on him since he was above board on his relationship with the other woman. It just might come back and hit her in the azz. Who knows?
I posted this now, because last night she was saying how sometimes the topic comes up and he asks if she was ever with someone during that time and she feels guilty and hates lying to him, but she won't bare tell him because things will change and there is no reason for it because the relationship is really great now.
Methinks he suspects already.
Is "she" you?
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