date with someone waaaay out my league -- good/bad? (dating, girl)

[Nepenthe]

Just got back from a first date with a girl waaay out my league. She was beautiful, talented, accomplished (she's a professional flutist who has traveled the world), wise, kind, funny, graceful, fun to talk to, and did I mention extraordinarily cute?

She's used to handsome guys who've been all over the world, who are vegans or vegetarians, and who have masters or doctorates in science or music.

We went to the museum's "adult night" -- the theme this time was "the science of love." It was fun. I did a reasonable job of being myself. But when I get in the car, alone, THAT's when the real me, the confident, flamboyant, creative, funny me comes right out. I find my voice is too high and I'm too "nice" and not creative/funny enough in these first date situations. But it wouldn't have mattered with this girl anyway, she's just way out of my league. Needless to say, there won't be a second date.

My question is, is going on these dates with a "9" when you're a "5" on your best day good or bad?
1. You never know what could happen (but usually you do, and it's "nothing")
2. No experience is wasted no matter what it is
3. These experiences can be beneficial to self-confidence and should be embraced
4. These experiences can be detrimental to self-confidence and should be avoided

What do you think?

[Currency Pair Crocodile]

What's all this 9 and 5. Are we humans or race horses

[crabman1]

There is no such thing as out of your league unless you make it so.

[TheEconomist]

It sounds like you lost your confidence.

All those well traveled, vegan, wind-instrument playing doctors of music might not be her type. She did say yes to go on a date, so you had a shot. Sorry to say it sounds like you blew it.

[Saberai]

More of this " league" stuff

More insecure guys coming to this forum.

[Naturen]

Originally Posted by Antlered Chamataka

What's all this 9 and 5. Are we humans or race horses

[boodhabunny]

Originally Posted by Nepenthe

Just got back from a first date with a girl waaay out my league. She was beautiful, talented, accomplished (she's a professional flutist who has traveled the world), wise, kind, funny, graceful, fun to talk to, and did I mention extraordinarily cute?

She's used to handsome guys who've been all over the world, who are vegans or vegetarians, and who have masters or doctorates in science or music.

We went to the museum's "adult night" -- the theme this time was "the science of love." It was fun. I did a reasonable job of being myself. But when I get in the car, alone, THAT's when the real me, the confident, flamboyant, creative, funny me comes right out. I find my voice is too high and I'm too "nice" and not creative/funny enough in these first date situations. But it wouldn't have mattered with this girl anyway, she's just way out of my league. Needless to say, there won't be a second date.

My question is, is going on these dates with a "9" when you're a "5" on your best day good or bad?
1. You never know what could happen (but usually you do, and it's "nothing")
2. No experience is wasted no matter what it is
3. These experiences can be beneficial to self-confidence and should be embraced
4. These experiences can be detrimental to self-confidence and should be avoided

What do you think?

How do you know there's no chance for a second date? Call her up and thank her for her company, then ask to see her again.

[Big-Bad-John]

Originally Posted by Nepenthe

Just got back from a first date with a girl waaay out my league. She was beautiful, talented, accomplished (she's a professional flutist who has traveled the world), wise, kind, funny, graceful, fun to talk to, and did I mention extraordinarily cute?

She's used to handsome guys who've been all over the world, who are vegans or vegetarians, and who have masters or doctorates in science or music.

We went to the museum's "adult night" -- the theme this time was "the science of love." It was fun. I did a reasonable job of being myself. But when I get in the car, alone, THAT's when the real me, the confident, flamboyant, creative, funny me comes right out. I find my voice is too high and I'm too "nice" and not creative/funny enough in these first date situations. But it wouldn't have mattered with this girl anyway, she's just way out of my league. Needless to say, there won't be a second date.

My question is, is going on these dates with a "9" when you're a "5" on your best day good or bad?
1. You never know what could happen (but usually you do, and it's "nothing")
2. No experience is wasted no matter what it is
3. These experiences can be beneficial to self-confidence and should be embraced
4. These experiences can be detrimental to self-confidence and should be avoided

What do you think?

I've done it before and will do it again. I think that if you have something that makes you special or stand out, it helps tremendously. This probably only works if you are attractive yourself. I can't see a great looking gal give a ugly man a chance at all. You may find a nice one who won't be rude in her let down but she is defiantly not interested.

[TabulaRasa]

If you think you're a five, then that's how you're gonna come off. You set the tone, and you can choose to set it differently.

"Leagues" are stupid. How'd you score the date in the first place if she's so clearly somebody who'd never be amenable to dating somebody like you? Sounds like you had every chance to put your best foot forward. If you screw something up due to lack of confidence, then it's really on you...not the girl (though, if tonight's other threads are any indication, I'm sure somebody will sign on and rant about how it really WOULD be the girl's fault for being insensitive enough to be so darned accomplished).

[Big-Bad-John]

Originally Posted by TabulaRasa

If you think you're a five, then that's how you're gonna come off. You set the tone, and you can choose to set it differently.

"Leagues" are stupid. How'd you score the date in the first place if she's so clearly somebody who'd never be amenable to dating somebody like you? Sounds like you had every chance to put your best foot forward. If you screw something up due to lack of confidence, then it's really on you...not the girl (though, if tonight's other threads are any indication, I'm sure somebody will sign on and rant about how it really WOULD be the girl's fault for being insensitive enough to be so darned accomplished).

Not if we are at least an 8! Haha