Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Ok this is very confusing for me. I'm a normal pretty quality female...educated, beautiful, smart, cool funny etc...ive been told im 'amazing'...and most people think im so gorgeous and look like some actress..ive been told I look like angeline jolie, catherine zeta jones, shakira er whatever...I'm a model, but petite...beautiful body...I have confidence and think highly of myself but I come across as your everyday conservative soccer mom type...I dress normal jeans and a shirt...i dont dress up and wear skirts etc...I'm monogamous, caring, compassionate, down to earth etc. I dont care abotu money, dont play games, am honest....Ive been told I look like a fantasy girl for most guys..overall you think a guy would want to be with me and ive been told by lots of people "you dont have tons of guys chasing you-- youre so beautiful"? I don't get it.... yet...I can't meet a guy anywhere. I get on dating sites, chatlines...even eharmony recently. Ive been single all my life. Ive been on tons of dates...with guys who have absued insulted rejected me...mostly out of insecurity or what not.
No im not stuck up or have an attitude...the guys who abuse me are though. Men seem to not just be intimidated by me but extremely jealous and hateful towards me based on my appearance (natural beauty). What im explaining equates to men meeting natalie portman, insulting her then running off--i doubt that happens to her but it happens to me. I liken myself to her b/c I have a stunning beautiful look but also girl next door innocent. It makes no sense as to why men treat me this way and in 32 years of my life i havent been able to get a boyfriend. On top of that any guy I meet is trying painstakingly to get sex off me and bail and never talk to me again. So either, I get nothing or a creep looking to get laid right away and if he gets nothing he doesnt talk to me again. No guy has ever asked me out- when I tell people that they are shocked....Im always alone...i have no friends b/c women hate me too. No guy has thought...ok...shes gorgeous beautiful single, sweet, caring nice... and single...let me try to date her? never...Ive been told im so amazing and any guy that gets me will be lucky....Ive been told im "too beautiful" By men who have abused me... so even if youre super beautiful or just normal or what not...how do u meet a guy in a society full of psychos rejects and jerks...who either only want sex, or are so insecure they cant handle being around you?? most men reject me (fantasy girl) , find some non-flaw in me (omg, your shoes are white not brown, I like brown-- BYEEEE B*TCH)!!! youre so weirddd!! then theyre datnig a drug addict who steals from them and say "my last Gf...was a drug addict who stole everything from me and ran off with another guy"...no faults with her...but with me....super sweet gorgeous girl...Oh...I breathed the wrong way so thats grounds to insult me and run off (on a first date)....does this happen to other women and what is someone supposed to do. Basically most guys see me...are freaking out....cuz im pretty...cant handle it or who knows what...and either insult or reject me...or dont talk to me again. Even guys who know im single never try to talk to me or do anything with me except try to get laid....it just doesn't make sense.... I dont thikn i am "that" pretty...or that intimidating...im petite and normal... I look like any petite normal pretty girl... yet I don't get treated like one... I find it odd that in 32 years and 100+ dates...im unable to get a relationship, boyfriend and only meet jerks who try to get a one time sexual encounter off me and never talk to me again....use my beauty for sex.. and my kindness to try to manipulate me...and not even ongoing sexual encounters.... or just men who insult me and run off...many males...ive even been out on dates with and are chatting with-- will begin being really mean to me...for no reason and even saying "oh i bet u hate me now"...they seem to try to sabotage a chance with me...and eventually I get tired of the bad attitude and stop talking to them-- but it seems it's what they wanted anyway...so it makes no sense (one person who did that recently said during the date I was the perfect woman)...I dont get how guys can meet a dream girl...and such a nice girl...and then just treat her so badly...and thats it...and try to use her too...some men get really mean for no reason...very abusive or cruel and insult me call me names...downright nasty for no reason...
it also seems like the more controlling psycho stuck up maen a girl is, the better chances she can meet a guy cuz guys fall for thsoe kind of women. Ive only been nice sweet kind and that seems to get me nowhere-- not that im goign to change but most guys I talk to seem to have no interest in that except using it to manipulate me. Do men just like crazy flawed women and hate pretty amazing nice women or are just that insecure...it makes no sense...
and please no insults...ive heard them all from the freaks and jerks in society....No its nothing im doing....even a crack ***** can get a boyfriend but beautiful nice girls seemingly are having problems? and the more mean and stuck up the girl the more chances the guy will like her-- cuz guys seem to like mean psycho women who play games but abuse the sweet pretty girls....not sure why and that's why this is confusing...
It does seem like men, go for the psycho lazy type, the kind who dont like to work, who dresses like a slob and dont care about their appearance
When I came across guys like that I tell them then we have nothing in common, I dont date men who date stupid women. Don't think they can go from that to me, when I know Im better than that. Besides they wouldnt know what to do with a good woman because they never had one. I take my time and am very selective when I find someone, Cuz a man is going to love me better and more than anyone else than he has before because I wont settle for 2nd best. If a man knows what he wants and has his act together and isnt afraid of love and is willing to express it to me then he will get a chance
I met my boyfriend online, he actually contacted me, so I replied back, we have so much in common, so now we are inlove,
I didnt give up I knew there was someone out there for me, and I found him.
You have so many issues, I almost would not know where to begin. I can tell you this much. This may sound phony or cliched. You project outwardly what you feel within. There are very few people who are able to hide their emotions so completely that they can be miserable or want to kill everyone on the inside and seem like a nice amiable person on the outside (these would be serial killers).
So first of all lose the conceited 'tude. If you are as good looking as you say you are (and I respectfully reserve judgment on this since beauty really is a very subjective thing to most people) then you don't need to say it as everyone can see the physical perfection you purport to have.
If you feel happy and good about yourself, it will be projected to those you interact with. This I know from experience. I can be the most miserable person I know. This is largely due to the fact that I let other people put me in a bad mood. I then project outwardly my misery or anger and I tend to meet or interact with people looking for a confrontation. When I don't let people affect my mood, I don't interact with these confrontational people. Making sure you are happy on the inside is alot tougher then it seems, and you have to have the strength of will (I think you have this in abundance) to not let other people dictate how you feel on the inside, which invariably will be projected back onto other people. Don't let yourself become a mirror for other people's bad moods.
Sounds hokey, I know. But it does actually work.
If you approach a situation looking to meet a guy and expect him to be what you say all men are then guess what? Men pick up on this and either will not bother with you at all or just try and see how far they can get. This may include sex, but some men I know would not bother at all with anyone who talks the way you do. So you are left with the ones who just want sex and nothing else.
Finding 'a good one', mate, boyfriend, girlfriend, life partner, husband or wife, is not supposed to be easy. If it were easy, then being married or in a monogamous relationship would not be worth much. I have heard many people say the good ones are all taken. But they have to come from somewhere. If other people can find 'a good one' then you can too. There is nothing so special about someone else that you cannot emulate or try for yourself to find 'a good one' of your very own. But it doesn't start until you lose the anger.
There is a line from one of the Star wars films that I like to remember
fear leads to anger
anger leads to hate
hate leads to suffering
OP, where are you meeting these men who treat you so badly?
Perhaps you should try getting involved in some volunteer work in areas which interest you, and you could meet some like-minded men that way. Or spend time with a friend or two in a family-friendly recreation venue. Or join a singles fellowship group at a place or worship (many don't require that you be a member of the church/synagogue/temple, but just a single wanting to spend time with other singles in a non-threatening environment).
I recall you saying that you have no girlfriends because they all hate you because of your looks. If all men treat you badly, and members of your own gender do not like you, either, I think you DO need to engage in some serious self-reflection. Think about the inner image that you portray ~ go beyond your physical appearance and ask yourself what good things you have to offer to a friend or a romantic partner. You must be sending out wrong signals, so work on self-improvement and see if you can change some things which will make you a happier person and will, consequently, make you more attractive to other people on more than a superficial level.
What's with some ppl bashing OP here? She just said several times she is very attractive...if so, what's the big deal, if she's simply stating a fact?
just because something is a fact doesn't mean it is a good idea to talk at length about it. part of getting along in life is having some concept of other peoples' feelings. when anyone delivers a speech where the main themes are
A) i have no flaws
b) the fault is everyone else's
c) i deserve something, and yet i haven't attained it for myself
d) i want advice but no one is allowed to criticize me
then it is obviously going to create some friction with anyone who has flaws, who accepts responsibility for themselves, who takes criticism, etc.
Finding 'a good one', mate, boyfriend, girlfriend, life partner, husband or wife, is not supposed to be easy. If it were easy, then being married or in a monogamous relationship would not be worth much. I have heard many people say the good ones are all taken. But they have to come from somewhere. If other people can find 'a good one' then you can too. There is nothing so special about someone else that you cannot emulate or try for yourself to find 'a good one' of your very own. But it doesn't start until you lose the anger.
^^^^
Referencing bolded portion above
Yes but finding a "good one", used to be a heckuva a lot easier in the past of even 40-50 years ago, vs. than it is today -- and it is particularly challenging when you get to be the age of OP (I know, b/c I was in the same boat).
And yes, 99.99% of all the good ones, are in fact taken, when you get to be our age. It's simply a fact of life -- the reality is, the "good men" and "good women", are snatched up by the competition and married to them, before ppl like OP even have a fair shot at them. The "good ones", aren't even in the running at this point, b/c by OP's and my age, they are already married, with their own husbands, wives, children, and families. Even the "good ones", wouldn't marry other "good ones", unless they were top-caliber, and top-dog. Again, I know -- I *saw* it happen with my own eyes, when I was in college.
The unfortunate reality is, it's going to be very difficult for OP to find what she's looking for, at this point (not impossible, but difficult). Try and walk in her shoes a little more...pls be a little more compassionate, already, instead of just judgmental
Last edited by Phoenix2017; 02-16-2011 at 11:16 AM..
Reason: Added language
Try and walk in her shoes a little more...pls be a little more compassionate, already, instead of judgmental
Oh please. You post on an open forum like this, you expect to be judged, especially when you come across as such an uneducated, self centred woman as the OP.
I'm a normal pretty quality female...educated, beautiful, smart, cool funny etc...ive been told im 'amazing'...and most people think im so gorgeous and look like some actress..ive been told I look like angeline jolie, catherine zeta jones, shakira er whatever...I'm a model, but petite...beautiful body...I have confidence and think highly of myself but I come across as your everyday conservative soccer mom type...Ive been told I look like a fantasy girl for most guys..overall you think a guy would want to be with me and ive been told by lots of people "you dont have tons of guys chasing you-- youre so beautiful"?
Men seem to not just be intimidated by me but extremely jealous and hateful towards me based on my appearance (natural beauty). I liken myself to her b/c I have a stunning beautiful look but also girl next door innocent. No guy has thought...ok...shes gorgeous beautiful ..Ive been told im so amazing and any guy that gets me will be lucky....Ive been told im "too beautiful" most men reject me (fantasy girl) ,...but with me....super sweet gorgeous girl.... Basically most guys see me...are freaking out....cuz im pretty..... I dont thikn i am "that" pretty...or that intimidating...im petite and normal... ....use my beauty for sex.. (one person who did that recently said during the date I was the perfect woman)...I dont get how guys can meet a dream girl...and such a nice girl...and then just treat her so badly...
Do men just like crazy flawed women and hate pretty amazing nice women or are just that insecure...it makes no sense...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Knight2009
She just said several times she is very attractive..
Come on Knight....say it 100 more times...come on!!! We get it as it's been shoved down our e-throats!
I'm glad she thinks she's beautiful. Nothing wrong with having a healthy self-esteem and confidence in yourself. However, there is a thin line between confidence and conceit. I'm thinking the OP is leaning towards the latter.
Oh please. You post on an open forum like this, you expect to be judged, especially when you come across as such an uneducated, self centred woman as the OP.
I had to laugh when I read this and especially coming from someone who's disillusioned himself into thinking he's in a relationship with a girl half his age and has never met her in person nor do her parents know about you. Yeah, I can take your sage advice seriously. No offense of course LOL
Oh please. You post on an open forum like this, you expect to be judged, especially when you come across as such an uneducated, self centred woman as the OP.
And how exactly do you think you would feel, if you were in her shoes? She is hurt and lonely, and sad and somewhat frustrated...understandably so, b/c the "good guys" aren't giving her a chance and a fair shot, at love with her, so that she can have the loving relationship that she years for.
Don't you think maybe you'd feel a little of the same way, if you walked in her shoes for a while? And that's why I said...less judgment, more compassion Where's your human heart here, Djuna?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
We get it as it's been shoved down our e-throats! 
Where's your human heart here, Djuna?