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I think most people who claim men can't be friends with a woman are those who cheat or who have been cheated on. There's some kind of irrational emotional baggage attached to someone who would say, "men can't be friends with women." Why not? Millions and millions of men do this throughout their lives without a second thought.
I'm honestly torn, on this one. Can some women and men be platonic friends, with nothing more? Perhaps. Although, as a man, I would wager that is much harder for men than women to actually do this, due to innate and naturally-occurring biological urges. I'm not saying that it's impossible, just difficult.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Glasvegas
So true!
Just found out that my wife of 8 years has been cheating on me for years with a guy that was "just a friend" and that she told me 1,000,000 times was only like a "little brother" to her. I never trusted the guy from day one and my gut instinct proved to be right all along!
Before I get hopelessly drunk, I am warning any of you guys out there who have wives with male friends. It is NEVER platonic! Male or female, when you take the oath of marriage, you should NOT have friends of the opposite sex, unless they are mutual friends that you hang out with as a couple, rather than have 2 hour conversations with on the phone while hubby or wifey isn't home.
Just found out that my wife of 8 years has been cheating on me for years with a guy that was "just a friend" and that she told me 1,000,000 times was only like a "little brother" to her. I never trusted the guy from day one and my gut instinct proved to be right all along!
Before I get hopelessly drunk, I am warning any of you guys out there who have wives with male friends. It is NEVER platonic! Male or female, when you take the oath of marriage, you should NOT have friends of the opposite sex, unless they are mutual friends that you hang out with as a couple, rather than have 2 hour conversations with on the phone while hubby or wifey isn't home.
The problem is not male-female friendship, the problem is that your wife was decieving and cheating on you. Even if you had forbidden her to have a male friend, it would not have shielded you from cheating.
We're in 2011. You don't need to have a friendship to cheat, all you need is an internet connection and 15 minutes.
You can't control people. You can only control with who you chose to be with. You're looking for something to blame, like friendship with the oppposite gender but the only problem here was your wife. Just move on.
My husband has always had more female friends than males. I never had a problem with it until one of his friends started to expect him to do "husband type things" (fixing a leak, changing a light bulb, changing the oil in her car, etc). I put a stop to it immediately! As far as I was concerned, she needed to find her own man (she was single at the time) to do this stuff for her. My husband thought I was overreacting and NO he wasn't cheating on me. But it pissed me off and I ended the friendship between them...
Sounds a bit controlling. I wouldn't be too sure your husband doesn't cheat on you. Not to troll, but as a guy, this is exactly the kind of behavior from a woman that would make me stray.
When our lady becomes our mother, we look for a partner elsewhere.
I believe men and women can be friends. However they have to respect bondaries and respect their husband's or wive's feelings about the friendship. My wife is much more outgoing and friendly than I am. She has more male friends than I have female friends. The majority of her male friends are also my friends. She does have a few coworkers and other male friends that are not my friends.
I do not talk/text with my female friends daily. An occasional how's the family text or phone call is fine. Whenver I am in my home town, we sometimes have dinner with one of my female friends, and our families. My wife's High School sweetheart owns a car detailing business. When we go to her hometown, she gets our truck cleaned at his carwash. I do not have a problem with this.
One day I logged on and checked the phone bill and I blew a gasket at the number of phone calls and texts her and a friend exchanged. I told her that I had a problem with the frequency of their phonecalls/texts and friends.
We have been married for 15 years and we have learned to communicate with each other without out yelling and screaming. I simply explained to her I thought they were becoming more than friends and she was falling into a trap. She agreed that he took advantage of her listening ear by constantly confiding in her about his crappy life and marriage. She no longer communicates with him. Her choice. I told her either talk to him less or cut it off completely.
When she saw how concerned I was about their "friendship" she chose my happiness over his.
Let me explain our boundaries we agreed upon. This goes for the both of us.
1. No dates. That includes dinners, movies, drinking at bars or going out dancing. If she is out with her girls and runs into a friend, I don't care if they dance, just no 1 on 1 dates with the opposite sex.
No constant talking/texting with the opposite sex. Good morning texts, what's for lunch, how's work, those type of things are all fine. There is no need for 25 daily texts/phone calls to "friends."
We love each other and respect our marriages, I don't want to embarrass her and she does not want to embarrass me. If I think she will get offended, I don’t do it; she pays me the same respect.
I think men and women can be friends FOR AWHILE. Friendship is the foundation for real attraction. Not that high school hormone "gawd their hawt" feeling that most people start out with. Married folks also lean towards idolizing a man/woman that we are not married to with "see she had a baby and immediately lost the weight" or "see, he went back to school even though they have kids". A real friend is gonna try and take up slack for things they know you might not get at home because they are a good friend. Mix in a rough patch that ALL marriages experience and you have a recipe for trouble. God forbid you both hit one at the same time. Seen a few families destroyed that way. It amazes me how many people are willing to risk their marriages to prove a point.
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