Need some advise...? (wife, guy, American, conversation)

[STT Resident]

I just hope that Ms Troop will pay heed and return to this thread to both respond and then let us know the outcome.

[AK-Cathy]

Absolutely!. The fact that you suggested a reasonable and safe alternative and he "stubbornly" refused is a huge red flag and personally I would consider just ending it now without meeting or further contact. At least obey your instincts and meet in a very public place with your own transport to and from there. Stay safe.

[OngletNYC]

No good thing will ever come from a man who encourages you to break your own personal boundaries. When someone talks you into doing so, it usually is the first step in a series of getting you to do things you don't want.

[jeepgirl27]

Originally Posted by AnnTroop

Need some advise please.. I met this guy and was very impressed with the first conversation. He seems to be very genuine and gentle and invited me to lunch with him at his New York apartment. I am bit nervous and afraid to go to his apartment, and suggested to meet in a restaurant instead. But he is gently stubborn and asked me to try his delicious cooking. He sounds very gentle and handsome. Please advise, if there is any potential danger…

Ann Troop

I would meet at a public place first, never go to someone's home on the first day without meeting them first..

[seeniorita]

Originally Posted by AnnTroop

Need some advise please.. I met this guy and was very impressed with the first conversation. He seems to be very genuine and gentle and invited me to lunch with him at his New York apartment. I am bit nervous and afraid to go to his apartment, and suggested to meet in a restaurant instead. But he is gently stubborn and asked me to try his delicious cooking. He sounds very gentle and handsome. Please advise, if there is any potential danger…

Ann Troop

Don't you watch the news and see the HUNDREDS of women that are killed, raped, tortured, held as sex slaves, never to be heard of again every DAY in this country?

Here's the POTENTIAL danger....

He's a good conversationlist.....so what? You don't know this man and if he IS a person wishing to do harm to you, how is it going to look to others that YOU a woman who only met this man once, decided to come to his apt.? I'm sure his charm will come in real handy when pursuading the jury you "wanted" him and that's why you came to his place so willingy.......that is if you make it out alive.

If he wants you to taste his delicous cooking so badly, tell him to pack it up in some tupperware, sashay his "handsome" a** to the park and you guys have a picnic.

[suedonym]

really? you need advice for this?

seriously?

no. go meet for coffee. i wouldnt even touch his food- might lace it with something. hes sending enough vibes to creep me out and i would lose his email address and quickly.

[mountainman51]

I'm college age and recently married so I dont date anymore.But when I was dating I would have never even asked a lady to my place for a first date. That in itself should say something about the guy.

[*Sixy*]

Originally Posted by AnnTroop

Need some advise please.. I met this guy and was very impressed with the first conversation. He seems to be very genuine and gentle and invited me to lunch with him at his New York apartment. I am bit nervous and afraid to go to his apartment, and suggested to meet in a restaurant instead. But he is gently stubborn and asked me to try his delicious cooking. He sounds very gentle and handsome. Please advise, if there is any potential danger…

Ann Troop

NO...do NOT go to his apartment!

At this point...why would you even entertain the thought of meeting him at all? I'm sorry but his insistance would CREEP me out!

[PJSinger]

Originally Posted by AnnTroop

Need some advise please.. I met this guy and was very impressed with the first conversation. He seems to be very genuine and gentle and invited me to lunch with him at his New York apartment. I am bit nervous and afraid to go to his apartment, and suggested to meet in a restaurant instead. But he is gently stubborn and asked me to try his delicious cooking. He sounds very gentle and handsome. Please advise, if there is any potential danger…

Ann Troop

The fact that he pressures you at all, even gently, says volumes. Even if he has no ulterior motive, he should still understand that if you are the least bit uncomfortable he should back off and agree to meet you in a public place.

[LovelyinLa]

I was more than a little creeped out when reading the OP's post. What sane man would even suggest an initial meeting to be at his home. Then he wants to pressure you into going, even after you said no. Trust me and everyone else on this one, something is not right with this guy. I wouldn't even meet him if were you. However, if you do decide to meet him, make it coffee at a heavily populated coffee shop in the middle of the day and sit at a center table. Give his name and phone number to a friend if you can't get one to come with you (sitting at a different table of course).

I hope you haven't given him any personal information about yourself, especially where you work, live or your last name. In this day and age that's all you need, to find out anything you want about someone. 13 years ago, when I first moved to LA I let a co-worker set me up with a friend of the guy she was dating. I told her to give him my number and he called, well he set off my spidey senses immediately and I decided I didn't want to meet him. He didn't take that very well, he found out where I lived and started calling me telling me I was beautiful. This went on for a while and it was very scary. I didn't even know what he looked like, the co-worker didn't know how he looked either, so any man who looked at me scared me. I ended up going to the police station to file a report against him for harassment. Finally, the guy my co-worker was dating said he'd taken care of it and as far as I know he did because I never heard from him again. But I will be forever grateful that I listened to my intuition.

That same intuition screams that there is something wrong with this man. Even if he's not a homicidal maniac, he clearly isn't worried about your feelings. There are 2 outcomes with this guy: He either wants sex only from you or he has some screws loose. Either way, I'd walk away from this one. Some lessons you just don't need to learn on your own.