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I fish the Bering Sea, in Dutch Harbor right now fixing some of the aformentioned carnage. I am not familiar with the Big Catch. The nick crabman itself is old, thats what they called me when I came over to dragging when opilio (snow crab) crashed. At the time it was the conventional wisdom that crab fishermen were cave men with a death wish and certainly there was a different attitude about how things should happen between the two fisheries. At any rate when the internet came along I started using it as a nick.
The opilio fishery is now over and those guys have gone home. King crab opens Oct 15 although some will fish pot cod first and may not move directly into king crab at the opening gun. This is assuming there is a season as fishery performance and unit effort were very poor last year and followed a controversy over the survey methodology which was changed because of industry pressure. Myself, I have not fished crab for a few years.
I have no idea what I will do when this ends. I used to go home to my wife but I no longer have one of those. Nor a house or anything else save a few personal items. I sold my boat, truck, cars, and so on in the divorce. Being essentially homeless I am free to do "whatever" but my heart is still broken and I see no path before me which is why I fret. My mom is dying from cancer and is reaching the end game now. That may define things as I will go to be there with her for the end.
Ok, you do have a harsh life on the water more so then our waterman here on the Chesapeake Bay. They also are dying breed and it's a shame. Alot of the waterman are getting up there in age and not too many young man want to live the hard life of getting up and out on the Bay when it's cold and dark. It used to be, when I was growing up, that it was a good way of life to be a waterman and they were proud of themselves as we were of them. It was a good life. There are still those that get out there and maybe not make much money but they are proud of who they are and they love the Bay so it's the only life for them. It is hard on the body, though. Most of the men have bad backs and knees. I live in a community where the old ways are still lived and worked but even I can see not too many young want to work the Bay anymore.
I feel for you, Crab. But this could be the start of a second chapter or another stage in your life. Don't think of it as the end but the beginning of something new. Where is your mom? Is she in your area? If so, be there for her and say everything you need to say to each other. If not, then if you can, go to her and maybe make another life in another area. I know you have kids so that might not be possible. You have alot on your plate right now with your job, your mom and coming to terms with the end of your relationship with your wife and the life you had with her. It's alot to take in so just be good to yourself.
Crab, you mention being in the Bering Sea - I always understood that to be one of the toughest places to be, meteorologically speaking.
In fact you and I are, I think, of an age that you would remember Jethro Tull's 1979 album "Stormwatch" - whenever I listen to that album I think of guys like you, out there in the elements making a living with your wits and your hands.
I just backspaced a lot, it sounded so sad. I have a feeling if I let myself go there I would never get it out of my soul. I'm going forward, even if I dont know how just yet. I have the sense that I am not done.
I just backspaced a lot, it sounded so sad. I have a feeling if I let myself go there I would never get it out of my soul. I'm going forward, even if I dont know how just yet. I have the sense that I am not done.
I only briefly visit the Past - I don't keep an apartment there. It's a real crazy place; it's all distorted and weird, like looking into a fun-house mirror. And they must have trouble with the atmosphere controls there, because you almost always leave feeling slightly ill-at-ease and guilty of some un-named crime.
The Future is bright, but bring your sunglasses so you can see Probable Truth when it appears. Again, not a place to buy a time-share condo.
The Present is, at least for me, the most comfortable and natural environment in which to live. One of the best things about the Present is that any changes I make are immediately visible; the Past, you can't change a thing, and the Future, any change you make you won't see for a long, long time.
I just backspaced a lot, it sounded so sad. I have a feeling if I let myself go there I would never get it out of my soul. I'm going forward, even if I dont know how just yet. I have the sense that I am not done.
Life's a real journey and it's tough sometimes but we have to push through all the crap to get to some peace in life. You'll find your way. We all do. I'm still trying to find my way. I get lost and then I'm on even ground and then I go off the cliff again and...it goes around in circles for me sometimes.
Life's a real journey and it's tough sometimes but we have to push through all the crap to get to some peace in life. You'll find your way. We all do. I'm still trying to find my way. I get lost and then I'm on even ground and then I go off the cliff again and...it goes around in circles for me sometimes.
Not to be argumentative with you or discouraging to Crab, but...
...really???
I always thought that this Forum was the local watering hole for extremely thirsty wackadoos who had yet to sip from the Waters of Wisdom. It's why I always believed that my pshrinks drive new Porsches every year because of me. It's why there is so much paranoia and greed and anger and frustration and madness in the world - because not ALL of us make it.
Some get lost. Some just give up. Some only think they've found balance, but discover they worship a false god. Some are medicated, some wander the streets, others sit in plush executive boardrooms.
But some, thank Buddha, scribble their thoughts here so that perhaps others might learn and take inspiration in this all-accepting, all-tolerant and all-loving Forum.
I only briefly visit the Past - I don't keep an apartment there. It's a real crazy place; it's all distorted and weird, like looking into a fun-house mirror. And they must have trouble with the atmosphere controls there, because you almost always leave feeling slightly ill-at-ease and guilty of some un-named crime.
The Future is bright, but bring your sunglasses so you can see Probable Truth when it appears. Again, not a place to buy a time-share condo.
The Present is, at least for me, the most comfortable and natural environment in which to live. One of the best things about the Present is that any changes I make are immediately visible; the Past, you can't change a thing, and the Future, any change you make you won't see for a long, long time.
I have to agree. People try to tell me, "you can always remember the good things about the past"... but your words, distorted and weird, are exactly how I feel about it. It's not as if I can view the past through video only, there is no single reality. It's colored with emotions and has been splattered with other people's interpretations as well. It looks a bit of a mess to me. And there's nothing I can do to change or fix any of the negative events.
Right or wrong, for me, my experience of my collective past with the people who are family and otherwise socially "bound" to me is mostly negative. So I prefer to leave the past back there. It's more comfortable for me. Those familyfriend and others don't like the 'ease' with which I do this (HA) - but it's not my place to tell them where to live, and vice-versa.
The future, as you said...Probable Truth. Sure, it's a great place to think and dream of, but I realized the only way to get there is through today. And then I figured out that Today is pretty good. I can really only enjoy Right Now. I can't enjoy Tomorrow yet.
My $0.02. after taxes.
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