A Happy Relationship..........................

[spiritwalker]

Originally Posted by still hangin

Yes, but I'm happy 75% of the time. The other 25% of the time, I'm sad because of what we lost.

I commend you for "Still Hangin." You must have an enormous capacity to love
I pray that you can continue to heal.....Yet I truly believe that once trust is violated forgiving but not forgetting is the only way to stay happy and healthy....It sounds crass but I believe that is the reality. I love my wife more than I can possibly say....If she were to be unfaithful I would be devestated..Would I still love her of course....Would I forgive her....Probably...Would I forget? Never !!!! I am not proud to say that in the past I was the perpetrator of an affair.....It broke up a marriage and caused pain....I never want to relive this again...Thank you for sharing your exoerience.
Spiritwalker

[still hangin]

Forgiveness is the key and that isn't easy. It's a daily exercise but I hope and pray that the end result will be worth it. My husband was on the receiving end of an affair in his first marriage. His first wife cheated on him 2 years into their marriage. When we were dating he shared with me how much it hurt but he stayed with her, 15 more years! He knew the pain yet he put me throught this hell. Oh well, that's the past and nothing I can do about it except for to move forward and again hope for the best.

It is amazing when you have an "unconditional love" you put up with a lot more. I often wished I didn't love my husband so much, then the decision would have been easier for me. Stupid, huh. People want what I have and I have it and wish I didn't.

[Roaddog]

Originally Posted by moonsavvy

Well I have a different definition of "happy" than you do. I would define what you are describing as content and at peace with a situation. Happy to me would be a constant state of elated and utter joy, no one is like that all the time...or in your case 99% of the time. We as humans have trials and disapointments that are not "happy" but we can look at them as blessings or we can wallow in self-pity around them.

I agree that you make your life what you want to and as far as a marriage goes, well you can only control your own behaviors.


So you will have moments of happiness, and yes you can find more of those moments if you allow yourself too, but it's not a constant state. At least not in this life anyway.


BTW congratulations on the 29th year!

I know what I am and I'm Happy " I would define what you are describing as content and at peace with a situation." Sure thats part of being happy and theres a lot more to it. It's a stste of mind and you can control it, it's not dancing around giggling and stuff, it's how you feel, it's not just a matter of being content, it's a step above that, I made the choice years ago after seeing an interview where a wise man was asked the purpose of life, he smiled and said "it's simple, being happy is the purpose of life, if not why would you want to live" Some people set goals in life they can never reach and are not happy, it might be materal things or a unreal image of what a relationship should be, for me it was just being in control of the things that I had the power to control, look at the good things and forget the rest, and it worked for me.
I know what happy is and thats what I am.

[clawson26]

Originally Posted by Roaddog

I know what I am and I'm Happy " I know what happy is and thats what I am.

I have to agree with you Roaddog! I have friends who just can't seem to accept that I am happy. Some of them aren't and they are always saying your life can't be so perfect... But it is FOR ME! I wouldn't change a thing about my marriage or my life. I'M HAPPY!! I kind of get tired of people saying well just wait something will go wrong... or I was too right up until he did blah blah blah... No offense but LET ME BE HAPPY!! Maybe it won't last...maybe he'll cheat...maybe I'll get sick...maybe we'll go bankrupt... or MAYBE NOT!!!! Maybe I'll get to be blissfully happy for the rest of my life!! (and stay thin too!!)
I think what makes my relationship so happy for me is what we are just like BEST FRIENDS but who have lots of really GREAT WHOOPIE! I know that is to much info but there isn't any other way to say it!!!

[moonsavvy]

Originally Posted by Roaddog

I know what I am and I'm Happy
I know what happy is and thats what I am.

Just because we define the term happy differently doesn't mean that you can't be "happy" in your own terms.

I would say happiness is a feeling, not a constant state. So that being said in my terms you nor anyone on the planet could be happy all the time. I would probably call you optimistic.

You have a different definition and that's ok, we don't have to agree. It's pretty pointless to argue about the definition. As long as your "happy" more power to you.

[moonsavvy]

Originally Posted by moonsavvy

Just because we define the term happy differently doesn't mean that you can't be "happy" in your own terms.

I would say happiness is a feeling, not a constant state. So that being said in my terms you nor anyone on the planet could be happy all the time. I would probably call you optimistic.

You have a different definition and that's ok, we don't have to agree. It's pretty pointless to argue about the definition. As long as your "happy" more power to you.

Same goes for you Clawson!