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Also I've meet people that look like they have not a care in the world until you get to know them and then they will tell you things that have happened to them bitterly.
True. And I'd be lying if I said that sometimes in my bad moments that I don't go back to a bad episode in my life and become bitter for a bit. I keep it in but you just can't let it swallow you up. So I have a little pity party for myself and then get over it and move on. But I don't let it cloud my life.
Are you kidding? No one likes to be around a bitter woman either. If anything, bitter divorced men are usually surrounded by tons of men that agree with their opinions of women.
There's a reason for that...
Last edited by Nite Ryder; 02-27-2011 at 11:14 AM..
And I'm not disagreeing with that. However, I was just trying to address the original post of how bitter men don't get sympathy, because I think that they do.
True. And I'd be lying if I said that sometimes in my bad moments that I don't go back to a bad episode in my life and become bitter for a bit. I keep it in but you just can't let it swallow you up. So I have a little pity party for myself and then get over it and move on. But I don't let it cloud my life.
LOL... same here donie! I have a little bity pity party...pull up my big girl panties and think, "Wow...is THAT all? At least I'm not going through ________, and I'm not having to deal with ______" Gratitude is such a big part of having a joyful life. Every terrible thing that has happened in my life has served as a valuble lesson. Do I wish they hadn't happened? Usually. One of the things that I have also noticed though, is this...If I'm not heading in the right direction, in a direction which is going to have the best long-term results for my life, (whether it be attitude, actions or inactions),something unfortunate happens to cause me to change my path. Sometimes that's what it takes to affect a change. What we WANT now, isn't necessarily the best for us in the long run.
What is the payoff for being bitter? If you're bitter because you don't have relationships, are you sabotaging your ability to HAVE relationships because of your bitterness? If something bad happened to you....say you were looked over for a promotion, will being bitter help you to get a promotion when the next one comes around?...or do you do some self-examination, in order to fix the possible weaknesses which caused you to be overlooked? No one likes a sore loser. Isn't that what bitterness stems from...being a sore loser?
Whenever a topic heads in this direction, I am reminded of Garth Brooks' song...."Some of God's Greatest Gifts are Unanswered Prayers".
LOL... same here donie! I have a little bity pity party...pull up my big girl panties and think, "Wow...is THAT all? At least I'm not going through ________, and I'm not having to deal with ______" Gratitude is such a big part of having a joyful life. Every terrible thing that has happened in my life has served as a valuble lesson. Do I wish they hadn't happened? Usually. One of the things that I have also noticed though, is this...If I'm not heading in the right direction, in a direction which is going to have the best long-term results for my life, (whether it be attitude, actions or inactions),something unfortunate happens to cause me to change my path. Sometimes that's what it takes to affect a change. What we WANT now, isn't necessarily the best for us in the long run.
What is the payoff for being bitter? If you're bitter because you don't have relationships, are you sabotaging your ability to HAVE relationships because of your bitterness? If something bad happened to you....say you were looked over for a promotion, will being bitter help you to get a promotion when the next one comes around?...or do you do some self-examination, in order to fix the possible weaknesses which caused you to be overlooked? No one likes a sore loser. Isn't that what bitterness stems from...being a sore loser?
Whenever a topic heads in this direction, I am reminded of Garth Brooks' song...."Some of God's Greatest Gifts are Unanswered Prayers".
Mel, I couldn't have said it better! Attitude is everything! And I love Garth Brooks song because it really is true.
If men are labeled as bitter, people ignore them and avoid them. They don't want to try and befriend them. Instead these bitter men get ignored and this just increases their anger with society. Whereas women would get the sympathetic attention from society. Women would side with her and men would agree with everything and tell her everything will be alright. But for men? Nothing. Why is that?
Bitter is bitter, and the gender rules just don't apply. There's a big difference between someone who is simply reeling from a bad breakup and someone who is in a permanent state of cynicism.
I know that I can't be bitter and happy at the same time. And bitter people are very unhappy!... I've been around chronically bitter men and chronically bitter women and it's awful! It's hard to "please them!" They just want to make a "case" about why they are justified in "being miserable!" And they don't care how their "misery" affects the people around them at all! Talk about being self-centered!...People who have to put up with bitter men or bitter women on a daily basis are the ones who deserve sympathy!
I know that I can't be bitter and happy at the same time. And bitter people are very unhappy!... I've been around chronically bitter men and chronically bitter women and it's awful! It's hard to "please them!" They just want to make a "case" about why they are justified in "being miserable!" And they don't care how their "misery" affects the people around them at all! Talk about being self-centered!...People who have to put up with bitter men or bitter women on a daily basis are the ones who deserve sympathy!
Yep. Life is just waaaaayyyyyy too short to deal with somebody like this.
I mean, by the time one reaches one's 40s, who HASN'T dealt with major stuff in their lives? Who HASN'T had setbacks in romance, business, or friendship?
In that sense, bitterness is really a manifestation of self-centeredness, because that person assumes that his tragedy and betrayal are unique experiences, one that only he has had to shoulder.
Look, if your spouse has left you, I'll be compassionate for quite a while. If you've lost a loved one, ditto. If you lost a job, I'll patiently urge you to get back up on your feet again. Why? Because that's what friends do.
At the same time, my patience isn't infinite. You aren't the first person on the planet to deal with pain and disappointment. In fact, you're not even the billionth. So get over it already.
Yep. Life is just waaaaayyyyyy too short to deal with somebody like this.
I mean, by the time one reaches one's 40s, who HASN'T dealt with major stuff in their lives? Who HASN'T had setbacks in romance, business, or friendship?
In that sense, bitterness is really a manifestation of self-centeredness, because that person assumes that his tragedy and betrayal are unique experiences, one that only he has had to shoulder.
Look, if your spouse has left you, I'll be compassionate for quite a while. If you've lost a loved one, ditto. If you lost a job, I'll patiently urge you to get back up on your feet again. Why? Because that's what friends do.
At the same time, my patience isn't infinite. You aren't the first person on the planet to deal with pain and disappointment. In fact, you're not even the billionth. So get over it already.
You're right about the "time limit." My husband passed away in July and I "owe it" to myself and I "owe it" to the people that I love to start to "move on" a little bit...My son's house was just "broken into."...Right now it's still a shock because the thieves stold items that just can't be replaced! But in the end we will have to process our feelings and "move on" from this too!.....You're right...Life is full of "up's" and "down's." Things don't always go "our way!" But people who feel they deserve to "be happy" work hard to "bounce back!"
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Why no sympathy for a bitter man
Every terrible thing that has happened in my life has served as a valuble lesson. Do I wish they hadn't happened? Usually. One of the things that I have also noticed though, is this...If I'm not heading in the right direction, in a direction which is going to have the best long-term results for my life, (whether it be attitude, actions or inactions),something unfortunate happens to cause me to change my path. Sometimes that's what it takes to affect a change. What we WANT now, isn't necessarily the best for us in the long run. 
