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He comes across as shady and or lacking social skills, and you come across as naive...very naive.
I will own up to being naive. I'm a 22 year old girl who has only had two real relationships. One lasted 4 years, the other lasted 2 years. I really don't know that much about men and dating. I know enough not to do anything that would risk my safety, but thats a different story.
This fellow had other things in mind. He was too pushy, your instincts about him were right, and you moved on. Keep an awareness of whatever it was that pushed your buttons. Some guys aren't as subtle, and some are downright vicious. You were wise to meet at a restaurant and smarter that you picked up a bad vibe and followed it, instead of dismissing it. Not all fellows are creeps, but those who's ulterior motive is similar are up to no good.
After re-reading your post, I think the guy was a little strange for wanting to invite you to his friends Shabbat dinner.
Usually those dinners are reserved for close friends and family. I think he wanted to show you off. You're 22, he's 35. He wanted to make sure you knew how much his car cost so he threw in that little side comment about "who's car do you think is safer" just to tell you how much his car was worth. And he probably wanted to impress you with picking you up from your house in his "expensive" car. Let me tell you that if you had allowed him to pick you up from your home (and you're absolutely right for meeting him at the restaurant) he probably would have tried to control you the whole evening. Even if you told him you were ready to go, he would have found another excuse to keep you longer. Not to mention his comment about "in MY country... men do this.. women do that"...
Oh that's just a lot of hot air from a chauvanist "macho-he-man".
He's a superficial pompous air bag.
There may be other men you meet like him in the future, but if you can pick out the signs of a pompous airbag before you decide to go on a date, you'll save yourself a wasted evening.
Tonight was just "Introduction to Pompous Air Bag 101"....
By the time "Advance Recognition of Gas Bags 102" comes up you'll already be a pro at recognizing the signs and politely make the excuse:
"Oh, I'm sorry I have plans tonight - My shower needs descaling"
Young Lady, I could write a book! I'm sure you learned a lot through this experience and I trust you are much happier at home with your wine than spending time with that guy. Next time you talk to someone at the park, ask about prior relationships and watch the answer. For example; what happened in your last relationship? She had red hair and I don't like red hair Shallow....run fast or go a little further. Okay, so she had red hair and you don't like red hair, but if she were a blonde, would you still be with her? Heck no, she got mad when I left her home on Saturday night. Again, run. Ask questions and follow-up questions to quickly decide whether he is worth any of you time. Also, don't go out to dinner so quickly, start with coffee or lunch as you haven't seen this guy in context of his friends...and we are know by our friends. Look at him and his surroundings and stay with guys closer to your age. There is a reason this guy out trolling the park at his age. There are lot of really great guys out there but talk to your girlfriends about how to sort out what you find. Do things you are interested in so you will meet people with similar interests and have a great time. Be sure you know yourself and what you want out of life. I hardly think it would be easy to mesh your interests with someone that much older. You have a lot of years ahead of you so enjoy life and forget that guy but remember the lesson. Fortunately, you are safe tonight.
I will own up to being naive. I'm a 22 year old girl who has only had two real relationships. One lasted 4 years, the other lasted 2 years. I really don't know that much about men and dating. I know enough not to do anything that would risk my safety, but thats a different story.
From a dude's point of view it is so blatant what that guy had in mind. It is laughable how somebody can not have any charisma. He should have just arrived without pants on.
You saw a potential mentor/friend...he saw a sweet little thing he could possibly get naughty with. I completely understand why he got mad. The things he was talking about at dinner were attempts to show off with the hopes of you liking him more and getting some alone time with you.
Dinner as friends...not going to happen. Guys take women that they want to sleep with to dinner. He throught he was going to get lucky tonight. You have to make what you want clear and make the first meeting at lunch a few days later if you randomly meet male mentor/friend material.
Not to make you paranoid, but you have to start reading between the lines because there are a fairshare of guys that will use a woman and move on. In this instance, you made the right move by meeting him at the restaurant and not leaving with him.
You are already doing the most important thing: thinking of your safety first. As you get older, your intuitive skills about people will sharpen...MOST people are not like this jerk, (just the remarks about the cars was enough for me), but I no longer think MOST people are genuinely nice, sorry to say....always be a little wary....
I made many naive mistakes myself with meeting/dating guys when a single gal your age but in time learned how to be discerning and oh-so-careful. I hope you do the same.
lol..To the OP..
No hun, this guy is a pompous ass..period and end of story...
I would like to state that you handled yourself quite well..good girl!
Bragging about cars? = INSECURITY..
Asking you why you would not allow him to pick you up and stating cultural beliefs?
RED FLAG...What you did was COMMON SENSE..being the times we live in..I am surprised you did not have a "wing man" a good friend who knew where you were going..ect..
No man asks a woman out 'as friends'. His intentions were not a business partnership.
I did several times when I was still dating. When you go out to eat as friends, the pressure is off. I know nothing is going to happen because I know I'm not going to try anything. A couple of my "date friends" have told me they felt more at ease with me for the same reason. Yeah there are some guys, and girls, out there who think this would be a good way for some good hot and heavy sex with somebody you won't see again. But that's not, and never has been, me
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