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This reminds me of when I fixed one of my business acquaintences up with a 23 year old I knew. He took her to dinner at the country club and about half way through dinner told her assumed that she had never been in a country club before and wanted to show her some new experiences. Haha.
To say she was pissed is an understatement. He also did the same thing with the car. He said "I get a new 911 every year. Nice isn''t it." Haha.
then he drove her up to the site of his new house overlooking the city and said some more condescending stuff.
I was pretty surprised. He always seemed like a secure, level headed guy to me. I guess that because she was such a bombshell he had to establish his qualifications with her.
Just remember, some guys get a little weak kneed around really attractive females regardeless of their age and it makes them act silly.
If only these men knew that they come off as major *******s when they talk about this stuff on a first date. I mean what are women suppose to do, sit there and nod in amazement?
I was not attracted to him, I thought he was interested in possibly investing in a business idea I have. I actually didn't think he would or I wouldn't have taken him up on that offer (since I have a lot to think about), I just wanted to hear what else he had to say about running your own business. He even told me he was "close friends with these two lesbian girls that own a doggyday care/grooming place and they do very well. I can introduce them to you on Sunday!".
Oh well, it will make a good story to tell the girls
I completely believed this happened exactly the way you said, and I don't think it's at all contradictory. I think you handled it really well, Miss Pear, I applaud you!
I get this, because I had something kind of like this happen. A guy who is much older than me, very influentual and even renowned, in our field approached me at a work reception and said he wanted me to co-lead some adult ed classes with him and would I meet him for coffee after the session was over. I was very excited and flattered to be asked.
We met for coffee and I have to say he let me run at the mouth talking about classes, sessions, subjects, etc. It got really late and he suggested that we meet weekly to plan. I emailed him some syllabi that I drew up, and we always met in restaurants or places where he knew a lot of people.
Now that should have been a red flag, especially since sometimes we met at galleries or venues owned by his friends, he would see me and say "ah, there she is", take my arm and lead me to a restaurant.
Now do you see the impression this creates? I did not! For a few weeks I sincerely thought we were getting together to plan courses! When I realized this was about that guy creating an impression that we were a couple I confronted him and said "Do you realize that people actually think we are going out together?" He just grinned and said "Yeah! Isn't it great?"
I was furious -- mostly at myself for being such an idiot. Of course the classes never happened, I took a hit professionally and also personally as people asked me "Aren't you with Tom?" It was embarrassing and problematic.
So Pear -- I am older than you but not wiser! Good job, sister.
I was not attracted to him, I thought he was interested in possibly investing in a business idea I have. I actually didn't think he would or I wouldn't have taken him up on that offer (since I have a lot to think about), I just wanted to hear what else he had to say about running your own business. He even told me he was "close friends with these two lesbian girls that own a doggyday care/grooming place and they do very well. I can introduce them to you on Sunday!".
Oh well, it will make a good story to tell the girls
If only these men knew that they come off as major *******s when they talk about this stuff on a first date. I mean what are women suppose to do, sit there and nod in amazement?
A gentleman on a first date should see if he can learn a little about the woman so he will be able to be an interesting and interested companion. It may turn out that she has little to offer an older chap. A 22 year old bartender may have vastly different interests than a 35 year old Israeli. How could that be a surprise? But he won't know until he establishes a comfort level with her and learns about her.
As a 40 something, I met and dated a 23 year old and on our first date, she wanted to stop by and get her license plates for her Honda Civic. Sound familiar? Well, I happened to notice that she actually had a car title not a memorandum meaning that she owned her own car. Guess how? Cocktail at a very trendy place in Cincy.
I realized that I had never dated a woman who actually had worked and bought her own car and didn't have a boatload of debts and drama and baggage.
The rest is history. We have been happily together for 20 years. I manage her successful art career as a second job. But I can remember my friends asking me "what can you talk to a 23 year old about?"
I went out with him because our talk at the dog park was sooo inspiring. He asked me what I do, I said "I'm in school, but my goal is to open my own doggy day care/grooming" and he said he had his own business, so we were talking about small biz and it was interesting. We talked about dogs, Miami, etc.
I have been considering dropping out of college, saving money and even taking out a loan to open a place.
He seemed like a possible friend/mentor type. Too bad he was a major creep
I'm glad you guys are saying most people are not like this. My mom said they were usually like this, and I usually take her advice seriously
Women fall for this nonsense all the time.
In most cases, men have no interest in being "friends", so if they use that line when they don't really know you, I would guarantee it's a hope on their part that it will develop into something more. What it comes down to is there is no reason to waste time and resources developing a relationship that is going nowhere, which is why us men don't want a bazillion women friends. Women are also territorial, suspicious and nosy, so if you are in a serious relationship with one, I doubt they've be onboard with their man having all these women "friends" blowing up his phone all the time.
I have a number of women "friends", mostly work colleagues I have no interest in sleeping with or women too old to be lovers. In most cases, i'd never do any activities with them one on one.
A couple thoughts. Men do ask women out as friends from time to time. In this situation this would be extremely unlikely as this at least to me and those I see around me is with people we already know. Still its a point that not all men all the time are actually seeking something more, sometimes it is face value.
The guy was a total richard, you were wary and rightly so, good on you.
Enjoy the wine!
From a man's perspective I don't see anything to be gained. Life is short and your youth is even shorter and I can't see the point bestowing all this wonderful time and energy on developing some fabulous asexual friendship with a chick when I could be out there having a great time on more enticing prospects.
I think it's a fairy tale created by movies that there are all these castrated men out there baying to be some woman's little friend and confidant. Maybe there are some gay guys interested. Dunno.
If women get that through their head they wont be so disappointed and shocked.
I completely believed this happened exactly the way you said, and I don't think it's at all contradictory. I think you handled it really well, Miss Pear, I applaud you!
I get this, because I had something kind of like this happen. A guy who is much older than me, very influentual and even renowned, in our field approached me at a work reception and said he wanted me to co-lead some adult ed classes with him and would I meet him for coffee after the session was over. I was very excited and flattered to be asked.
We met for coffee and I have to say he let me run at the mouth talking about classes, sessions, subjects, etc. It got really late and he suggested that we meet weekly to plan. I emailed him some syllabi that I drew up, and we always met in restaurants or places where he knew a lot of people.
Now that should have been a red flag, especially since sometimes we met at galleries or venues owned by his friends, he would see me and say "ah, there she is", take my arm and lead me to a restaurant.
Now do you see the impression this creates? I did not! For a few weeks I sincerely thought we were getting together to plan courses! When I realized this was about that guy creating an impression that we were a couple I confronted him and said "Do you realize that people actually think we are going out together?" He just grinned and said "Yeah! Isn't it great?"
I was furious -- mostly at myself for being such an idiot. Of course the classes never happened, I took a hit professionally and also personally as people asked me "Aren't you with Tom?" It was embarrassing and problematic.
So Pear -- I am older than you but not wiser! Good job, sister.
Wow, what a weird guy! I'm glad someone gets where I'm coming from. I think the taking you by the arm part could have been platonic, but I can also see how others would see this.
In most cases, men have no interest in being "friends", so if they use that line when they don't really know you, I would guarantee it's a hope on their part that it will develop into something more. What it comes down to is there is no reason to waste time and resources developing a relationship that is going nowhere, which is why us men don't want a bazillion women friends. Women are also territorial, suspicious and nosy, so if you are in a serious relationship with one, I doubt they've be onboard with their man having all these women "friends" blowing up his phone all the time.
I have a number of women "friends", mostly work colleagues I have no interest in sleeping with or women too old to be lovers. In most cases, i'd never do any activities with them one on one.
The bold area just dicredited everything you just said, do you really think all women are that way?
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You know, it's probably a good thing I'm not on the dating scene. 
