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Old 03-08-2011, 02:29 PM
 
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I believe in marriage. I think the reason I want to be married someday is the examples my family has set for me. Both sets of my grandparents loved each other until the end. It is so inspiring to watch someone nurse their partner and hold them at the end. My parent's love is also deep and long-lasting. I want the same type of love...and I want it all...the ring, marriage, and someone that means the world to me.
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Old 03-08-2011, 02:33 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by city_data91 View Post
If you're in your 30s, you're not overly old.

I'm attracted to some women in their 30s.

By old, I meant 60s and 70s
I knew what you meant, I wasnt relating to my age group
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Old 03-08-2011, 02:42 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Georgianbelle View Post
I believe in marriage. I think the reason I want to be married someday is the examples my family has set for me. Both sets of my grandparents loved each other until the end. It is so inspiring to watch someone nurse their partner and hold them at the end. My parent's love is also deep and long-lasting. I want the same type of love...and I want it all...the ring, marriage, and someone that means the world to me.
I think it also makes a huge difference if you surround yourself with positive and healthy marriages. It's not that you ignore problems or create this fantasy idealistic of marriage, but I think it'll affect you greatly and how you view marriage. I still believe in marriage even when divorce statistic is high.
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Old 03-08-2011, 03:12 PM
 
Location: Oxford, England
13,032 posts, read 24,589,694 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Georgianbelle View Post
I believe in marriage. I think the reason I want to be married someday is the examples my family has set for me. Both sets of my grandparents loved each other until the end. It is so inspiring to watch someone nurse their partner and hold them at the end. My parent's love is also deep and long-lasting. I want the same type of love...and I want it all...the ring, marriage, and someone that means the world to me.
You don't need marriage to have life long commitment and deeply loving relationships IMO. I would love my Husband just as much if we were still cohabiting. Being married has changed nothing but our legal status and given me more "rights".
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Old 03-08-2011, 03:42 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dhanu86 View Post
Today there are many divorces, unlike decades before.
Marriages decades ago are no different that nowdays marriage..But the married people's attitude in marriage decades ago are VERY different than married people's attitude in marriage nowdays!

People nowdays do the beautiful wedding , the exotic honeymoon for everyone to see but yet are not willing to do the work in the marriage as divorce no longer gets a bad wrap.

Don't get me wrong I do beleive in divorce for certain circumstances such as an abuse relationship, a cheating spouse ect.. but there are other issues that are not deal breakers and didn't need to cause a divorce.

To answer your question: I believe in marriage but I also believe it's not for everyone!. I believe there are some people who are only looking for companionship without feeling "tied up" legally and some who only want some fun!

But what I can't stand is people is people saying they won't get married because they don't need a piece of paper to define their love. Please give me a BREAK!
-I'm sure you don't need a piece of paper to define your religion, well what about the baptismal certificates?
-I'm sure you don't need a piece of paper to give you a summary about your birth so what about your birth certificates ?
and there are other plenty of "piece of papers" that we are in possesion of..

It's true that the marriage certificate doesn't define your love but it just here to represent the marriage just like the other "piece of papers" that you have...
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Old 03-08-2011, 04:15 PM
 
Location: Murphy, NC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucario View Post
Y'all don't want to know what I think about marriage.
I want to know what you think. The idea scares me because when I hear the word, I think of "no turning back" unlike other things in life like what business u get into, or rather u like to drive japanese vs american, or rather or not to become a Jew, etc lol
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Old 03-08-2011, 04:20 PM
 
Location: Murphy, NC
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Originally Posted by mysticaltyger View Post
Well, um, of course it works against our natural attractions. It's supposed to. That's part of the reason for it. Societies quickly descend into chaos if everyone just jumps in bed with whoever they're attracted to.

What comes naturally to most of us is stuff like overeating, using drugs and alcohol to make ourselves feel better, having sex with whoever we want without using birth control, using violence to dominate and feel superior to others, etc. Marriage is one of many social institutions that helps us to tame our base instincts.



I don't think it's wrong to be attracted to others. That doesn't mean it's a good idea to act on it, though.





We have a lot of divorces because in Western culture we base marriage too heavily on attraction and not enough on other practical things. I'm not saying attraction doesn't matter, but it is never, ever, enough, all by itself. But we are brainwashed by movies & TV to believe being attracted to or in love with someone else is enough. It isn't.

You might want to read:

Is He Mr. Right? if you want to learn about the 5 aspects of chemistry that make a person right for you. A very practical book. Written for straight women, but 90% applicable for men as well as gays and lesbians.

Amazon.com: Is He Mr. Right?: Everything You Need to Know Before You Commit: Mira Kirshenbaum: Books

I also like what Elizabeth Gilgert, the author of Committed had to say on the subject in an interview with CNN. In the book, she studied marriage in different cultures and came to this conclusion:

.....If you look at the history of marriage, anytime you see a conservative culture of arranged marriage being replaced by a more liberal culture of romantic marriage ... you will see divorce rates start to rise immediately.

It turns out that love is a very fragile notion upon which to base a very important and complicated institution. I think most people throughout history would look at the way we choose our marriages today and just think, my God, these people took huge risks. They risk their future, financial stability, property and their heirs on something as fragile and delicate as romantic affection.

It's not that that necessarily means that I advocate a return to arranged marriage, it just helps put in perspective why contemporary western marital arrangements can become so chaotic.

The whole interview is here:

'Eat, Pray, Love' author tackles marriage - CNN

Amazon.com: Committed: A Love Story (9780143118701): Elizabeth Gilbert: Books
What are those 5 aspects of chemistry? Do u remember them? All I can say about arranged marraige is I think the couple shouldn't marry until they plan to start a family, to have something to band them together before they get to many ideas and regret the marraige.
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Old 03-08-2011, 04:25 PM
 
Location: Murphy, NC
3,223 posts, read 9,613,254 times
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Originally Posted by Pierce2011 View Post
I would have to agree with just about 99% of these answers. I can't say anything that hasn't been said before on this thread. The only thing I can add, is "personal influence". Thanks to my Mother, I have a very bad role model on what "marriage" is. I think she enters relationships on a whim and doesn't take them seriously. My Mother was married 5 times before I was 13 yrs old. And that does not include all of her many relationships in between those breakups and vows. She's miserable being married and she's miserable if she's not.

As of tomorrow in fact, her and my step-dad have been married for 24 yrs and I think they almost hate each other. So, do I not believe in marriage? I guess I'd have to find out what the word "marriage" really means in order to answer that. Personally, I don't understand the concept of it. I gave it a try once and it didn't work for me. All I know is that I don't want to be miserable like my Mother is. BTW, my step-dad is a very good man and my mother treats him like crap. I think they've stayed married all of these years because they're too old to get a divorce.
Yeah I'm a what most would call a very good man but I experience alot of disrespect. When I demand it, it only creates problems and they complain "why are u mean to me" and I say "well u were the one being much meaner to begin with".... some women are just like that and need a male who loves them enough to ignor it and do act on his decision regardless of what she says. So long as its a smart decision she'll forgive and forget about it.
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Old 03-08-2011, 04:27 PM
 
Location: Murphy, NC
3,223 posts, read 9,613,254 times
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Originally Posted by LoveBoating View Post
For everyones info on this Thread, wife and I have been married twice before and that sure didn't stop either of us from wanting to be married again. We both made a couple of mistakes, but that sure doesn't mean that we don't believe in marriage or were afraid of it. Our Christian spirituality definitely helps us in our marriage, that Faith and Belief that neither of us had in our previous marriages. One of the major things involved with marriage is sharing, banking account and all........something that many in the younger generation simple don't want to do or have done with the wrong person.
For us, our marriage is very happy. We have our little spats, but that is a part of marriage as well. It's the "making up" with an "I'm sorry, I love you" and the hug/kiss to follow that that is simply WONDERFUL!
As stated in another post, we are in our early 60's and been married for 10 yrs this Thursday.
That's inspiring. Have a happy anniversary.
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Old 03-08-2011, 05:11 PM
 
4,721 posts, read 5,301,531 times
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Originally Posted by Mooseketeer View Post
You don't need marriage to have life long commitment and deeply loving relationships IMO. I would love my Husband just as much if we were still cohabiting. Being married has changed nothing but our legal status and given me more "rights".

You don't have to be married, but it is what I want. I want a man to want me to be his wife, and I want to be his enough to go through the ceremony.
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